


Literally in Love

by julesherondalex



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Modern AU, Pride and Prejudice References, Slow Burn, Teacher AU, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26138020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julesherondalex/pseuds/julesherondalex
Summary: Welcome to Velaris High - your favorite idiots are now teaching innocent High School students.One day, biology teacher Elain finds a love note addressed to her, without anyone taking responsibility for it. She’s left to figure out the hopeless romantic - all the while fighting her silly crush for the nerdy math teacher.Get ready for sweet pining, misunderstandings and workplace romance.(Song of the Fic: You Are The Solution (Chez Remix) - Loving Caliber)
Relationships: Elain Archeron & Azriel, Elain Archeron/Azriel, elriel - Relationship
Comments: 96
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> I'm back with a multi-chaptered fic of our loves, Az and Elain. 💙  
> After months of no writing updates, I hope I can still make you fall in love with them - this time as teachers.
> 
> Comments are always very welcome, please let me know what you think. 💌
> 
> Enjoy!💙
> 
> PS. Pride and Prejudice spoilers ahead!

“Okay, class, we’re done for today. As soon as you’ve copied your homework, you can…” Elain broke off, already having lost the room full of hormone-driven teenagers to the liberating break within their grasp. 

Even if her days as a high school student were long gone, she empathized with the need for lunch, especially now. Her stomach had been grumbling for the past half an hour and a headache was worming its way through her temples – all thanks to the coffee she’d skipped this morning, having overslept her alarm. 

Only two classes left, and she would be done for today. Plus, lunch break meant she would finally satisfy her caffeine needs. Her spirits lifted. 

Sighing, Elain turned to the chalkboard as the sound of her students filing out one by one filled the air. Her neat handwriting coated the surface and would need to be cleaned off for her next class. Finding no sponge to use, she decided to borrow from another class and left the room. 

Returning a minute later, the board was wiped off in no time, Elain eagerly slipping on her coat, thinking about the familiar smell of hot coffee. When she gathered her bag, a small piece of paper floated to the ground sinking to her feet. 

She reached and lifted it between her fingers – brows furrowed – thinking something must have slipped from her folder. The words on the square surprised her.

_To Elain_

Once unfolded, the note revealed the strangest few words in elegant handwriting. 

“ _I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun._ ”

There was no name, no initials, nothing on the slip of paper indicating who might have written it, only that it was addressed to her.

The words seemed familiar though Elain didn’t recognize them. Who had put this upon her bag? She remained standing there, confused, looking around the empty room and the desk where the note had been placed. 

Maybe one of her students had given her this, which must have slipped past her notice. Though she was pretty sure she would have seen a stray piece of paper on her desk, and it probably didn’t mean anything anyway. 

_I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun._

Huh.

As Elain began deserting the room, shutting the lights and locking the door, she kept pondering the words. Did they even hold a meaning? Elain had the odd feeling she should have recognized them.

Her stomach grumbled as if in protest to the distraction the note posed, so the biology teacher tucked it into the pockets of her pants and made her way to the breakroom.

Food first. Thinking later.

…

“What’s on your mind, Elain? You’re quiet today.”

Elain shook out of her thoughts just to find that everyone at their table had quieted and was looking her way. She blushed at the weight of their attention, especially now that the males who also sat with them, Cassian and Azriel, stopped talking and eyed her in curiosity.

She did her best to ignore the men and met the eyes of the colleague who had addressed her. Mor, the beautiful Spanish teacher sat across the table, glancing at Elain with mild concern and a kind smile as she took a bite of her salad.

Nesta also looked at her sister, that unmistakable stern gaze now fixed upon her with scrutinizing care. No wonder every student of hers feared as much as respected their English teacher. Elain stopped stirring her lukewarm coffee and shot them an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been thinking, that’s all.”

For Mor, that explanation was enough to withhold from further probing. She wasn’t as close to Elain as to the youngest Archeron, Feyre – who was most certainly occupied with the Rhys, principal of Velaris High right now. Morrigan probably would have bugged Feyre until the female spilled what was on her mind.

Nesta Archeron, on the other hand, was rarely pleased with Elain’s answers. “What is it?” the female inquired and continued to watch her carefully. Elain withheld from wincing.

She wished Nesta wouldn’t try to babysit her so much. It was strange enough that both of them were working at the same institute with Feyre also giving art lessons every now and then when her art class for adults wasn’t occupying her time, and Elain didn’t need the other teachers to think she wasn’t fit for this job whatsoever. But this time perhaps … perhaps Nesta could help her.

“Someone left me a note today,” she began, “and I don’t know what to make of it.”

Mor’s brows rose as she leaned in. These lunches were pretty bleak without gossip, Elain guessed. Before Nesta could question further, the blonde intervened, whispering, “A note? What does it say?”

Elain took the paper out of her pocket, and smoothed it open in her palm. It didn’t slip past her notice that Azriel returned to eating and engaged in conversation with Cassian as if Elain’s secret note didn’t pique his interest at all.

 _It’s probably better he doesn’t listen anyway_ , Elain imagined while forcing him out of her thoughts. She didn’t know who gave her this note and what they intended. Either way, if it was any of her students, she wouldn’t want to expose them. That was not the kind of teacher she wanted to be; one who liked to gossip about those kids or made fun of them behind their backs.

She loved her students, and teaching in general. There was a certain responsibility one bore as the teacher of the young souls, a responsibility to care for their education. It was no task to be underestimated or taken lightly. So, the less people listened, the better, until she knew what was going on. _If_ something was going on at all.

In a low voice she proceeded to read the note aloud, though had to start again once when Azriel fell into a loud coughing fit. Mor absentmindedly patted his back as she listened closely.

“Oh, that’s sweet.” The woman smiled when the Archeron finished, her eyes positively shining at whatever had revealed itself to her. “It feels like a love note to me.”

Elain’s brows furrowed. She didn’t even register the silence that had gotten hold over the entire table again. Nervousness curdled her stomach. “No, that can’t be a love note.”

She turned to Nesta, hoping the eldest Archeron would back her up. The female was thumbing her bottom lip though and absentmindedly gazing at Azriel who sat diagonally across from her – seeing through him as she was in thought, not even noticing his uneasiness beneath her eyes. Perhaps there was a teeny-tiny bit of fear in his expression, too, which made Elain realize not only students feared her sister. By all means, rightfully so.

Nesta finally turned to Elain. With unwavering surety she said, “It’s a love note.”

Elain tried to hide her discomfort, but it must still show on her face because when her gaze brushed Azriel’s over the table, he quickly looked away. Surely, he didn’t want to have any part in this, if it so much as blew up all over her head.

What would Rhys say if the letter turned out to be a love note of one of her students? She loved her job and didn’t want to lose it. Would she have to resign? What if word got out and she’d be humiliated to the entire school?

“How would you know?” Elain tried again. “It doesn’t say anything about love in there.”

She glanced at the note in her hands, the words tugging at her anew. She couldn’t quite think though, with so many eyes on her and confusion irritating her focus. Being the center of attention of adults was so much more unnerving than teaching an entire class of teens.

Nesta relieved her from the brain wreck.

“It’s a quote from Pride and Prejudice,” she determined, shooting Elain an accusing stare as if to say _you should have known that_. “This is how Mr. Darcy explains Elizabeth Bennet how he fell in love with her. It _is_ a love note, Elain. Who gave you that?”

Sweet Jesus.

Pride and Prejudice was one of Elain’s favorite stories. Of course she would have felt the tug of familiarity. Although not being an avid reader like Nesta or Feyre, that story she had read more times than she remembered since childhood. It was something about the lovely, sweet-on-the-tongue romance that had always made her daydream of her own perfect little love story.

“I – I don’t know. I knew it wasn’t there during my lesson or I would have noticed. I left the room for a minute and when I returned, it was just lying there.”

Could someone have sneaked into the room to leave her a note only to disappear within the span of less than a minute?

“So you really don’t know who left you the note? No inkling either?” Nesta asked, shooting her a meaningful look. Elain frowned and shook her head.

Her mind was whirling with this revelation. She couldn’t quite grip the fact that someone would intentionally address her a Pride and Prejudice-esque declaration of love. If it was anything like that at all. Elain was confused.

The note was either complete nonsense – a prank, maybe – or some mystery person knew about her love for the story, knew exactly when and where she’d be having her lesson at the time, waited for her to leave the room just to sneak the note inside to … earnestly convey feelings?

The more she thought about it, the crazier it sounded to be real. She’d never gotten a love letter. She didn’t even think love letters were a thing anymore.

Mor, on the other hand, was gleeful. “You guys, this is wonderful. And _so_ romantic. Do you think it was one of the teachers? But who, but who?”

As far as she could tell, the female was absolutely delighted to solve this new mystery, even as Elain’s own jaw gaped. One of the teachers!

Cheeks bright pink, she let her eyes wander around the room. There were lots of teachers at Velaris High, given how huge a school it was. Only a handful of them spent their breaks in the same room.

The table to their right was occupied by Helion who sat with Vivianne and Kallias, the former male with skin as smooth as ink, was talking with big gestures and a loud voice while the latter seemed mildly irritated, brows furrowed over ice blue eyes. As they watched, Vivianne pinched Kallias’ side – they were the only official couple at the institute – and pointedly planted a big smile on her face as if to dare him to do the same.

At the table to their left, Lucien Vanserra – the drama teacher – sat with his attention fixed on the moody geography teacher Tamlin. They seemed to be involved into an agitated discussion. Elain saw Lucien roll his eyes when Tamlin didn’t look.

Thinking of the other teachers who weren’t in the same room, she didn’t even personally know all of them, a shudder run down her spine at the thought of receiving a love letter from Beron, the rather … unpleasant history teacher. Even in her imagination that would prove to be nothing but downright horrifying.

She snapped her eyes back to Mor. “This is anything but wonderful!” She lowered her voice to a whisper again. “What if it wasn’t a teacher at all but a student? That’s illegal, right?”

Azriel launched into another coughing fit that rattled Elain’s bones before Mor answered.

The Archeron mustered him with concern; her friend who was the rather quiet but sharp mathematics teacher at Velaris High.

Elain and Azriel had always gotten along quite well, especially since she loved to tickle out the real him beneath the force of quiet and cunning. He had always been sweet and kind to her which might even explain the stupid crush she had developed on him when she started working here a few years ago. After he’d casually made clear that he didn’t date colleagues though, she’d quickly dispatched of her infatuation.

“Are you okay?” the honey-haired female worried now, regarding him with more care. “Perhaps you’re getting a cold?”

Mor clapped his back in earnest, leaving Az to swat her away and shake his head. Elain remembered once more, a little grudgingly so, that the two of them were quite familiar, having went to school and uni together.

“I’m fine. No cold,” he answered, voice rough from the assault.

“I don’t think the note was written by your students,” Mor returned to the main issue once more, her elegant features pursed into a thoughtful expression. She’d never resembled her cousin as much as she did now. “My intuition tells me it was a teacher.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “I don’t know about her _intuition_ but Velaris High doesn’t require students to read Pride and Prejudice in their English classes which means they won’t read it in their free time either. It’s likelier an adult has written it.”

“Either way,” she added, her eyes snatching to Azriel’s movements who had begun packing up in the meantime. “It’s obviously a stupid and childish idea. Don’t buy into it, Elain.”

Mor, clearly the romantic one out of the two, frowned. “Stop being a _bruja_ , Nesta. Whoever wrote this apparently is in love with your sister. I can’t think of anything that is more romantic than a love letter!” She turned to Elain who’d gone silent and blushing within the past minute.

“What do you think, Ellie? You have a secret admirer.” She wiggled her brows in a suggestive way. Elain reddened even harder.

“I don’t know. Nothing of this sort ever happened to me. Maybe it’s supposed to be a joke?”

Mor clicked her tongue, disappointed but unwilling to let go. “Is romance lost on you guys? Someone just left you a note with a sweet Pride and Prejudice quote and you’re having doubts?” She leaned closer in a mischievous manner. “I’d say we try to figure out who wrote it.”

“Of course you’d say that,” Nesta muttered under her breath, rubbing her temple.

To Elain, she insisted quite blatantly, “Just let it go. Whoever it is, if he hasn’t got the balls to admit it to your face, he’s not worth considering.”

An apple escaped Azriel’s hands as he tried to pack it into his satchel and hit the table with a thud, making Elain flinch in surprise. He murmured a quiet _sorry_ that went unnoticed by the others. His cheeks were splotched with red.

“That’s a little harsh, Ms. Archeron,” Coach Cassian now jumped in, a broad grin spreading on his rough but handsome features when Nesta shot him a death stare. When he stood, his muscled bicep was right in her face, making Elain wonder whether the football coach did it on purpose to get to her sister somehow. Nesta might not have mentioned it but Elain was definitely aware of the sexual tension that accompanied the two whenever they were in the same room.

“How would you know, _C_ _oach_?”

Elain winced at the lack of respect in her sister’s tone. Nesta rarely deigned to even speak his name. To make up for it, Elain tried to catch Azriel’s gaze in apology at least, knowing that these two were as close as brothers. He didn’t seem to notice her searching his eyes though as he rummaged in his leather satchel, adjusting his black-rimmed glasses.

He sure looked adorable doing so.

Shoving the uninvited thought aside, the female ignored that Az was chiseled with sharp and elegant edges while his jaw line stood prominent and his eyes shone expressively. Maybe that’s why he often avoided her gaze.

In any case, he was shier than his staggering looks would have made anyone assume. Elain kind of liked that quality to him.

She also liked that he was familiar to her in a way which was surprising even within her existence as a social butterfly. They might not know each other since school, but for the three years of being colleagues – and friends, she dared to think – she intuitively knew what to say to tempt him out of his comfort zone whenever he retreated into his shell.

With some people it was just like that, Elain assumed; once drawn into each other’s orbits it felt like you had always circled around them. With a stifled smile, she averted her eyes from the male.

Across from her, Mor seemed to be in deep thought, watching the tables around them and weighing her options to solve the mystery at hand.

“Who do you think it was?” Elain whispered, unable to hide her progressing curiosity. If someone truly had a crush on her, she wanted to know.

“Come to think of it, there aren’t many possibilities within this room,” Mor mused. “I think we can safely count Kallias and Vivianne out of the picture. They’re engaged and happily in love. Not that I can tell looking at Kallias’ face.” She crinkled her nose but smiled; she was Vivianne’s close friend. 

“Then there’s Helion. No offense, honey, but I doubt that it was him who wrote the letter. He’s just not the type for cutesy. He’d probably rather get on a stage and shout his love from there.”

 _True_ , Elain thought, chuckling. She’d definitely noticed Helion’s fondness for fanfare and attention. 

“I’m thinking Mr. Vanserra is a real possibility. He would surely know the story, right? I mean, he’s the drama teacher! _And_ he’s gorgeous, isn’t he Elain?” 

Elain stole a glance at the red-headed male. He was clearly very beautiful. Unnaturally and otherworldly beautiful. Though she had her doubts that someone like him, confident and gorgeous, could be crushing on someone like her. 

On the few occasions she’d talked to him, Elain realized Lucien was eloquent and witty to a fault. She couldn’t remember whether Pride and Prejudice ever came up in their conversations but Mor was right. As the drama teacher he would surely know about the story of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy.

“Hm.” Mor seemed thoughtful, hesitating as she kept staring at him and drumming long manicured fingers against her chin. Elain felt the sudden urge to kick her against the shin so she’d stop looking at him, fearing Lucien would notice. This was like high school all over again.

“I’m not so sure, honey. Does he seem to you like the kind who’d write love notes? This one seems like a sweet and shy approach to–”

The female broke off abruptly and perked up. Then, she held her hand out to Elain, impatient. “Cariño, can I see the note please?”

As Elain handed over the slip of paper, Azriel interrupted Nesta and Cassian who were still playing their angry flirting-game, quietly urging his friend to get going.

Mor seemed suddenly very happy, her mouth spreading into a blinding grin and the raise of one of her brows transforming her expression into a smug one. “Well, well.”

“What is it?” Elain asked, “Did you figure it out?”

“Oh, no,” she drawled. “But I would like to _consult_ someone else–” Her hand shot out and smack-grabbed Azriel by his jacket, just as he was about to hurry from their table.

He stiffened and shot Mor a hard gaze, cheeks still heated red. He was either truly catching a cold … or being absurdly embarrassed.

Elain’s brows rose and her heart started to thump faster. He’d tried to leave rather hasty, his lunch half eaten. Remembering his coughing fits from earlier … could it be that …?

“What do you think, Azzy? Any guesses who could have given such a sweet note to our lovely biology teacher over here?”

Everyone was staring at Azriel now; Nesta still fuming and stiff, Mor with mischievous expectancy while Elain couldn’t turn her wide eyes from Azriel’s horrified ones – staring right back at her.

He knew she was suspecting the incredulous, right along with everyone else at the table. Elain practically felt his embarrassment; it rolled off in waves strong enough to be palpable in the air. She held her breath and let it painfully remain stuck inside her lungs.

Her heart sank when he began shaking his head and glancing from face to face. His mouth opened and closed when he failed to give a response.

Coach Cassian came to his rescue. “Leave my brother alone, you heathen. It wasn’t him,” the male explained, smirking at Mor. “I picked him up earlier and we got here together. He was with me the entire time since his class got rescheduled.”

Elain averted her eyes quickly, unwilling to show the disappointment that had totally sneaked up on her. Holy Mary, this was embarrassing.

Azriel straightened his glasses and cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded a little hoarse when he glanced at Mor and deadpanned, “Nice try.”

Morrigan made a face at them. “You’re no fun.”

This entire moment was definitely _no fun_ and completely cringeworthy. Elain wondered if her own cheeks were as pink as she believed them to be. She had really thought, for a second, that Azriel might be the one who wrote that note for her. For _her_. And what it had done to her heart, fluttering up her throat

Of course it was silly. They were colleagues and friends at most. The thought, he could have written her a love letter, clearly embarrassed him out of his mind.

Knowing she shouldn’t but not being able to help herself, she glanced at him one last time as he left.

He didn’t look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that Taylor Swift's song invisible string is the vibe for this part. Go ahead and listen, it's perfect! 😍

“Hey, Azzy.”

Azriel looked up from what he was working on and groaned, seeing Elain’s teasing grin. “Not you too. I told Mor not to call me that, at least in public.”

“So you’re saying she gets to call you _Azzy_ in private? Now I’m jealous.”

The male covered half of his face, blushing behind his hand while mumbling an embarrassed s _top_ , but Elain saw the smile on his lips. Mentally, she high fived herself for bringing that about.

“What are you up to?” she asked, keeping to her light tone as she slid into the seat across from him. Trying to make them forget about yesterday’s lunch.

Az was sitting all by himself in the loneliest teacher’s lounge at school due to the fact that it was seated relatively remote down the corridor of the Junior’s track. Up until a year ago Elain hadn’t known this room even existed.

But Azriel somehow found these places and often chose the solitude of them. Good thing she’d at least figured out where he liked to hide sometimes during lunchbreak when his friends and colleagues got too much.

Whenever she felt like he might be okay with her company, she thought to casually stroll down this way during her own break, casually glimpse inside to casually find him sitting right here. A casual coincidence.

He’d never asked nor protested, so she kept coming.

“Just grading some tests my students took today.” He looked upon the papers he’d already marked with a red felt pen, to the few Ds and the occasional C, with a deep frown on his face. “They’re not going to be happy about the results.”

So far so good. He didn’t seem to think about that embarrassing moment when everyone thought he had written a love letter for her. She should let it go too and stop feeling bad about it. The moment replayed in her mind more times than she liked.

Despite the uneasiness the memory left her, Elain couldn’t help the tiny grin that slipped on her face when she watched him as he kept frowning down at the results.

Azriel was shy and sweet with his quiet, proper language and the nerd-glasses, but he put on a relentless front when it concerned his students’ education. He was practical and strict with them, expected honest effort.

The quality Elain liked most to him – and her reason to smile – was his dedication to his job, his students, and most of all the frown that crossed his face whenever they failed. Him being truly upset when he had to grade tests with less than B showed that he _wanted_ his students to learn and succeed. Az cared for those kids like a teacher should.

That was quite an admirable treat, wasn’t it? Totally seen from a professional point of view, that is.

“It’s not your fault, Az. I wasn’t a clever maths student myself. I guess it’s just something about the subject that’s cursed for some,” she tried to even out the blame she knew he took upon himself. He looked up, his brows furrowing deeper. The black-rimmed glasses lifted with the movement.

 _My God_ , Elain thought despite herself. _Why does he look so adorable today?_

“Of course it’s my fault. Mathematics is no magic. The exact opposite even.” He sighed, taking his glasses off entirely and rubbing his eyes. “They wouldn’t have failed if I did my job right.”

Elain averted her gaze from his glasses-free face. He clearly wasn’t super sexy in a nerdy type of way. Also, not quite possibly one of the most beautiful men she’d ever seen. Why, Heavens, no _._

“Maths might be no magic, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. And most importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re not a good teacher,” she tried again.

He sighed again and finally offered her a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

That little smile brought forth a dimple she unfortunately found endearing. Elain reached for some of the ungraded tests in front of him to try and divert her attention. She needed a focus that wasn’t his face.

“What are you doing?” he asked, watching as she snatched the red marker from his hand too, and started reading through the first test.

“I’m helping you finish these.”

Azriel began to protest – just like she’d expected.

“Hey. Don’t doubt my maths skills because I told you I wasn’t particularly good at it in school.” Reaching, the teacher quickly used her pen to peck his wrist, the skin of her hand grazing his fingers. Az didn’t budge but rose his brows in surprise at the silly gesture. “I am totally capable of handling some Freshman math.”

Amusement spread on his face. “You’re sure about that? I am quite challenging a teacher. These Ds aren’t for nothing.”

“Yes, sir,” she agreed quickly and saluted.

She thought – for a moment – that she was being silly. Until the beginning of a smile showed on his lips – a reaction he couldn’t hide although he tried to stifle it.

Elain liked to compare Azriel’s smiles to sunrises.

They appeared slow but steady, and then blindingly beautiful. He would make you wait for it, unwittingly, for such special smiles like his weren’t given often when they were capable to actually make you _feel_. But like sunrises, he would grant his smiles every once in a while, when the moment was right.

Elain happened to love the sun. She happened to bask in his smiles.

And that’s what she got; a smile and a gleaming look. Then he grabbed another pen and began grading his tests.

She watched him for a couple of seconds, secretly, out of the corner of her eye. Watched as he leaned over his desk, thick dark brows over hazel eyes, and the strands of dark hair that fell just to the black frame of his glasses. His lips seemed to reminisce the smile from moments ago as they were still tilted upwards.

It felt surreal, to sit here and enjoy his presence. How in the hell was it possible for him to feel so familiar when she didn’t really know the man beyond his presence at work? When they were two separate people, barely friends but colleagues? He could have easily been an acquaintance from uni or a crush of her high school times, and yet – it was a one in a million chance that she knew him at all. Strange, to think their paths had crossed.

Elain wondered if there was more to it, a connection they weren’t aware of which was rooted in the way this world had been strung together. If there was more to them. The thought was as bewildering as it was exciting.

Finally deciding to focus on the task ahead, the two enjoyed these moments of something warm und soothing, a pleasant silence of companion the teachers wrapped themselves in for the next half an hour as tests were graded. At one point, Azriel’s spirits lifted when Elain showed him a couple fully scored tests.

“Are you waiting for someone?” he broke the silence later.

The biology teacher jerked, realizing she’d been peeking at the door again.

“Um no, I don’t.” She tried not to act caught when he rose a brow.

“You’ve been glancing at the door for the past ten minutes.”

Elain chuckled nervously. She’d noticed early on that simply nothing escaped Azriel’s eye.

“Sorry. It’s … it’s nothing,” she deflected, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful moment between them with something that was linked to an embarrassing memory.

Azriel studied her face, not quite meeting her eyes as he often refused to. He shrugged and returned to his tests. “Okay.”

Something about the quiet tension in his shoulders made Elain hesitate. She wasn’t obligated to do so but she found herself talking anyway, wanting to share a piece of her mind with him. Besides, their shared memory from yesterday would itch until she spoke about it. Elain might as well get over with it now.

“It’s just that I’ve been wondering about the note I found yesterday.”

Azriel’s response was short-lived though immediate. For a second, he stiffened with his entire body like a deer caught in headlights. As if yesterday would repeat itself, forcing him into an uncomfortable situation.

Elain felt bad instantly. She really didn’t want to remind him of that awkward moment yet clearing things up was in their best interest. It shouldn’t remain between them forever, something unspoken and weird. Wouldn’t it be so much better if they laughed about their embarrassment instead?

“You figured out who wrote it?” he asked nonchalantly, comparing two students’ results and checking both off as correct.

Elain played with the marker in her hands, turning the item round and round while throwing him a glance. He sure sounded like none of what happened yesterday was bugging him, quite contrasting his intuitive response.

“No. It might have just been a mistake. Or a prank. I wouldn’t know,” she murmured, remembering the words in that beautiful handwriting. Even as she said so – and, admittedly, after spending quite a time studying that stupid piece of paper – she didn’t want to believe herself anymore.

“Your name was written on that note, right? It seems like someone cared for you to read whatever was inside.” So he _did_ pay attention during lunch. “I don’t see why anyone would enjoy pranking you like that.”

“You might be right,” the woman sighed. “I just don’t know what to make of it. I keep looking for whoever might have written it. I’m curious.”

“Understandable,” he simply expressed.

Elain felt like she was already annoying him with her cutesy drama, so she cut to the point.

“Well, about yesterday…”

Az looked up; his face was carefully blank.

“I just want to say I’m sorry.”

He blinked. “You’re sorry?”

“Yes.” Folding her hands together on the desk, the female tried not to think about blushing because that always made her blush. “I wish you weren’t put into that position.”

He didn’t immediately respond so she quickly added, “I don’t believe it was you who wrote the note, if it makes you feel better.”

A tight-lipped smile appeared on his lips. “Don’t worry about it.”

“So, we’re good?” she asked, gingerly. “I don’t want us to be awkward.”

He seemed surprised, setting pen and paper on the desk.

“Of course. I’m sorry to have made things awkward.” Rubbing the back of his neck, Azriel sighed. “Mor sometimes has that effect on me. She likes to embarrass me because she knows I don’t enjoy being center of attention.”

Mor had an effect on him. Okay. That was…unfortunate. But none of her business.

She focused on the fact that he had made a confession of his own, a small piece of himself given to her willingly. “So I noticed. It’s okay, Az.”

He straightened his glasses, bestowing her a quirk of his lips. Not a full smile but something at least.

The awkwardness shaken off, Elain was glad to return to her usual energy around him. “Would you help me figure out who it is then?”

Az rose his brows; Elain watched him fidget uneasily. She guessed he wasn’t one to easily let go of his embarrassment.

“I think Mor would be a more willing and competent assistant in this case.”

“I can’t imagine anyone beating you when it comes to figuring out secrets no one wants to share.” Elain rose one brow – a treat she’d learned from Nesta – and stifled a grin when Az looked alarmed.

“Why would you think that?”

“You always seem to know everything,” she claimed. “Remember that one time when you figured out Alis’ sons were actually her nephews she’d adopted?”

Alis was the cook of Velaris High, supplying kids and teachers alike with actually great food unlike other cafeterias. Her twins had been in Elain’s class last year and she’d never even realized there was a kinship between them.

“That wasn’t a secret,” Az frowned. “Alis just told me when I talked to her.”

“But you were the first to know. She’d never told anyone and somehow you were the one to find out,” Elain argued, crossing her arms against her chest, her brow still lifted. “You figured out Helion and Lucien were related, too. None of us knew that before.”

“I didn’t figure that out, Rhys did. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time,” he mumbled.

“But secrets still somehow find a way to fall right in your lap.” Elain threw him a bright smile. “That’s why you could help me! I bet you already have an inkling who left this note.” She leaned forward. “Do you?”

The anticipation stealing into her voice couldn’t be hidden – he must hear it too. Hell, until asking him, Elain hadn’t known she wanted to have an answer that bad.

Azriel’s cheeks reddened.

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but I don’t.”

The female tried not to pout. It would have been too much of a coincidence if Azriel happened to know about this secret person anyway. Perhaps she shouldn’t even care about a silly note. Whoever wrote it could also be talking to her like Nesta suggested. Maybe it was a creep – who knew? In this case, she didn’t even want to know.

“You really liked the note?” Azriel questioned, skeptical.

Elain supposed he wasn’t the type of guy to care much about such gestures. Perhaps his brain mostly worked in numbers.

She shrugged, trying to dismiss it. “I thought it was cute.”

Az made a non-committal sound. Then, he straightened his glasses and scratched his neck. “Elain …” he began just to be cut off by the door to the breakroom opening energetically.

Beron, the history teacher, strode in, thrusting his satchel onto one of the tables by the window. With one hand, he reached into the breast pocket of his jacket – with the other, he reached to open the window.

It was then that he noticed the young teachers sitting together by a lone table. He stiffened, hand stilling inside the pocket of his jacket, not quite sure what to do.

Clearly, he wasn’t up to any good. Probably trying to ease some of that sour expression on his face by illegally smoking in the teacher’s lounge. Elain and Azriel weren’t the only ones aware of the remote placement of this room it seemed.

Beron decided to proceed as if he hadn’t planned to do anything illegal, aimlessly rummaging in his bag for a few seconds. Deciding he had to find a more secluded place, he made his way outside, shooting both Elain and Azriel a scornful glance. The female didn’t complain. She hadn’t exactly taken a liking to the history teacher.

Wide eyed, she turned to Azriel once they were alone again. “He totally tried to smoke in here. I heard he was grading one of his students up because he was dealt weed.”

Azriel grunted. “That’s just plain stupid. The kid’s going to give him away.”

“I never really liked him,” Elain wrinkled her nose in distaste and shrugged apologetically. Azriel seemed to stifle his amusement.

“What were you saying earlier?” she asked, remembering him saying her name.

“Uh,” Azriel uttered, little helpful. “I was saying that I need to be going now.”

“Oh?” Elain glanced at the clock. “So soon? Do you have a class?”

Azriel began gathering his papers, including the ones Elain was still grading and piled them, neatly placing the stack into his bag. “No, but I have another … meeting I need to leave for.”

“Oh, okay.” Elain smiled politely, pushing her surprise aside. “Sure.”

She collected her coffee mug and stood, waiting for him to don his jacket. Azriel dressed as he was cute and shy – and nerdy. Now wearing a dark brown leather jacket over his khaki-colored plaid shirt and dark pants, he strapped his leather satchel over one shoulder and shot her a quick smile.

“Thank you for helping me out. I owe you one.”

Elain returned the gesture and dismissively waved her hand. “You’re welcome. It was nothing.”

Later, when she continued to attend her next class, Elain wondered about that ‘meeting’ of his, and whether he was actually talking about having a date. Perhaps with the Spanish teacher who had such an _effect_ on him.

Despite her many efforts, there was not a single thing to be done about the tiny twinge in her chest at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was today's part! I hope you didn't mind it wasn't so long but I decided I'd keep my parts short to build and give you more of them.
> 
> What do you think is going to happen next? What would you do if you were Elain? Who is her secret admirer? Is Azriel romantically involved with Mor?! I would very much appreciate to hear your thoughts as we go!


	3. Chapter 3

“Shit!” 

Elain barely contained the heavy box in her arms when she almost collided with a tall female who basically breezed through the door of the teacher’s breakroom.

She quickly glanced around, hoping no one had heard her cursing – especially no teen. She was supposed to be a role model at this place. Not that any of the high school students necessarily thought of their teachers like that. 

“Elain!” Mor chirped, her already-there grin widening as she noticed the shorter female hidden behind her box of test papers. “Any news?” 

Elain huffed, only partly due to the weight on her poor arms. “Nope. No love letters today.”

Mor had taken upon asking her every single day about _news_ from her _secret admirer_. After days with nothing but lots of preparing classes and letting her students take tests during exam week, no one but her students had approached her – if only to try and ask for a way to redeem a test they knew they’d failed.

Elain was almost _not_ disappointed, because she should have guessed that it was a fluke, a mistake or a prank, whatsoever. That tiny feeling of being gutted stole into her being anyways.

Nonetheless, and now more than ever, it was time to return to her daily routine – which didn’t include thinking about an unknown love interest. 

It would certainly have helped if Mor let that idea of a dreamy romance go too. Sure, it would have been great but at this point Elain thought the blonde wanted that devastating love story for her more than the Archeron wanted it for herself. At least that’s how it seemed every time she received the same answers. Like now.

Visibly frustrated, Mor mumbled under her breath. Something Spanish sounding like _maldito idiota_. 

“Excuse me?” Elain furrowed her brows. 

Mor just waved her off and opened the door wider for her to pass through. “We’ll talk about it later, yes honey? My class is waiting for a grandiose Spanish test.”

She swept past Elain, as the biology teacher nodded. Irritated, she glanced after Mor, then made her way inside the lounge. 

Her mood changed instantly when she noticed Azriel sitting in the far corner of the room, scribbling in his notebook. Actually writing _words_. 

There might have been no love letters past week, but she and Azriel had spent lots of time during lunches; may it be in company of their small circle of teachers – even Rhys and Feyre joined them once or twice – or in that forgotten room together alone, working in silence most of the time with lots to do during exam week.

Every once in a while they would chat and Elain would soak up details about Azriel’s life beyond work. He had let slip, for example, that he and the boys – Cassian and Rhys – met every weekend on the field at Velaris High to compete in sports like football, basketball or even soccer. Apparently, all of them were pretty invested in being athletic and in betting against each other.

Elain tried to act as if she wasn’t totally taken with the thought of Azriel being…fit.

He also mentioned once, casually, that he enjoyed quiz shows. Now, that was more like what she’d expected of him. When asked if he liked to puzzle along with the contestants, he nodded and blushed. Elain only smiled to herself.

Now that they seemed to talk more, the female had so many questions concerning his daily life. Maybe that’s why curiosity sparked as soon as she saw him focused on that notebook.

Before she glimpsed what he was writing though, Azriel noticed her with the box in her arms and shut his notepad closed. “Elain.”

Another quirk of his she’d noticed: Him saying her name with a specific tone to his voice that told her what he didn’t. Right now, it seemed he was surprised to see her. 

Elain smiled and dropped the box off on the large, round desk. “Hey, Azriel. What’re you doing?” She glanced again at his notebook, but his hand remained on top of it, almost protectively. 

The male only shrugged. “Just taking some notes for an upcoming class.”

“Wouldn’t that require numbers in your case?” Elain teased but he only scratched his nose and focused his attention on the box in front of them.

“Exam week?” he questioned and reached to take off the lid, peeking inside to find stacks of test papers. “Good,” he simply stated, not waiting for her response, “I’ll help you.”

“You don’t have to help me just because I helped you, Az, you know.”

“I know,” he claimed and even met her eyes for a moment, if only to show her his determination. “I’ll still help you.”

He grabbed a stack and made to pull it out.

“What? Like, right now?” Elain rose her brows, watching him heave a bunch of papers on his palm.

“Didn’t you plan to go over these just now?” He halted. “You don’t have another class, right?” 

Elain let out a laugh. “I don’t, Sherlock. But –” 

“So I’ll help you.”

The female refrained from rolling her eyes. He sure was of stubborn nature. “Well, you’ll have to come home with me then, because I’ve been itching to get into my pajamas since the moment I changed out of them.”

Azriel’s eyes widened and he let go of the pile of papers as if he’d burned himself. “Oh, uh, sorry. I didn’t know you were heading home.”

Now she _did_ roll her eyes and grinned. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t mind the infamous math teacher of Velaris High visiting me.”

He still hesitated, looking like a startled doe. Elain giggled. “Az, I don’t bite.”

The male seemed flustered. “Of course you don’t.”

She enjoyed his overall response too much not to tease him. “You wanted to help me, right? Don’t just chicken out now.” She smiled extra sweet, linking her hands behind her back. “I’ll even make you coffee.” 

He gazed at her smile, fleetingly and with carefully blank features, then back at the box beneath his hands. A blush spread on his cheeks as he closed the lid back over it.

“Okay,” he agreed then, quietly.

Elain’s smile widened.

She had no idea how this came to happen, but she was quite excited about it. If someone told her this morning she would have Azriel visit her apartment later that day, the female wouldn’t have believed it. He was so shy and proper. Visiting a colleague perhaps meant crossing a line of professionalism for him. Elain didn’t even know if he saw her as a friend.

And yet she’d offered to make him coffee.

Sweet Jesus.

Not that it _was_ a big deal. But somehow, it felt weird to watch him loading his bike in her car – he was riding to school _every_ morning – and get behind the steering wheel as he sat in the passenger’s seat. 

He was as quiet as usual, yet she couldn’t help but notice a certain nervousness about him that right about transferred to her. She ignored the feeling and devoted to making small talk. 

“So…where do those Sherlock habits of yours come from?” 

Azriel turned to her, surprise written in his features. “Sherlock habits?” 

“Sherlock habits,” Elain nodded. “You knowing everything about everyone.”

He rolled his eyes. "I don’t know everything.”

The female shot him a quick but meaningful glance, returning her eyes to the road as fast as possible. A car crash wouldn’t exactly be the best thing to happen to them.

“Fine,” Az sighed. “I guess I’m just used to being attentive all the time.” 

He watched as the streets passed in a blur, turning his face from view. When he spoke again, his voice had something subdued about it. “I didn’t have an easy childhood.”

Instantly Elain pictured a small, lanky child with jet black hair and scared, hazel eyes. She didn’t allow herself to look at the scars on his hands. Were they the result of an abusive childhood? 

“Oh. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been nosy.” 

Az shook his head. “There’s no need to be sorry. My past is long gone. I’m happier now.”

This made her smile. Glancing at the male, she responded from the heart, “I’m glad for you.”

Az gave her a warm quirk of his lips and returned to looking out of the window. 

Her attempted small talk might have been anything but easy and light yet somehow calm had settled between them, a comfortable silence Elain was already acquainted with. 

They stayed like that the entire drive home, a few words here and there, his quiet chuckle and her cheeky grin. Elain realized that Azriel was an infinitely easy company. His aura had something soothing about it. At least to her. 

When they finally made it inside her apartment, she gestured for him to hang up his jacket on one of the hooks on the wall and watched as he took in what he could of her home. His eyes were clear and wide open behind the frames of his glasses, showing the curiosity that always lingered there unless he chose to hide it.

It was strangely unravelling to see him soak up the moment; as if he slipped out of his role as the quiet maths teacher at Velaris High into a part of himself that was probably truer to his core. Still shy, but an openly curious being.

Almost involuntarily, he started for the living room when Elain remembered the state she’d left it and squeaked, “Wait!”

Azriel halted in his tracks, whirling around and staring at her in bafflement. His cheeks turned crimson as if she had altered his comfort around her, had stopped that slow and sweetly curious processing of him.

He quickly began to apologize, almost shameful for that part of himself. “I’m sorry, I – I didn’t mean to snoop.” A scarred hand reflexively came up to straighten his glasses.

Elain’s own face heated as she quickly shook out of her cloak and dropped her keys into a small bowl by the door, silently cursing herself for reacting without thinking. She hadn’t meant to shock him, didn’t want him to be uncomfortable around her and hide what she thought was deeply endearing.

“Sorry,” mumbling sheepishly, she shuffled around him and closer to the living room. “I just need to check for … indecent clothing lying around. Don’t come in until I say so,” she warned and ran into the room, grimacing as she quickly dispatched two of her bras hanging over the back of a chair and some wildly scattered clothes. All over the place.

By all means, Elain was a neat person. It was just something about early mornings and lazy breakfast that had her not caring about the state of her apartment until she returned home. In her mind, this untidy version of her place didn’t even exist.

Seizing all the clothing, she shoved them into random drawers and quickly scanned the room for more before giving Azriel the greenlight to come in.

He looked shy and hesitant as he stepped inside, smiling with his mouth and eyes at her from across the room, noting her slight breathlessness from having run around in her living room in order to make it approachable by someone who was visiting her for the first time.

The thought struck her, her nerves catching up into fizziness as she lifted her arm in an encompassing gesture. “Welcome to casa Archeron. Just pretend the last couple of minutes never happened and I never made you wait to go and retrieve my bras from all around the room.”

Oh, God, what was she saying? She blushed hard – but it all seemed worth it when his smile deepened into a grin.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. We just got here.”

Elain huffed a laugh and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, feeling quite embarrassed. She usually wasn’t this weird and jumpy, so why now?

Azriel didn’t move himself, waiting patiently and watching her with his soft hazel eyes. Elain averted her own, suddenly shy. As if they’d changed their roles.

“Can I …?” she found Azriel requesting and gesturing to the picture frames standing on the dresser she’d shoved her bras inside.

She nodded, welcoming his curiosity. “Of course.”

The tall male slowly crossed the room to her photos – most of them from Elain and her sisters in various stages of puberty and adulthood. There were also frames of the five of them, her mother alive and her daddy grinning.

When Elain watched a deliberately soft smile turn up the corners of Azriel’s lips as he gazed at the photos, it felt like a flower growing in her chest where her heart sat, petals opening to soak the light.

Maybe, just _maybe_ , she still had a stupid little crush on Azriel Asker.

Which was quite … unfortunate, with him mere feet from her. In her apartment. Now looking at her childhood photos and smiling like he recognized her even there.

She swallowed, wringing her hands. “Would you like your coffee now?”

Azriel glanced at her over his shoulder, smile still on his lips. “Sure, thanks.”

“Black, right? And no sugar?” Elain remembered.

His smile deepened. “That’s right.”

Leaving the room seemed quite the cleverest thing to do while the male soaked up every detail of her apartment. Her thoughts wandered to what he’d enclosed to her during their ride here, his rough childhood and whether it had anything to do with the burns on his hands. 

Either way, she wouldn’t be asking about it. She couldn’t imagine any light conversation coming out of it – no matter how curious she was. Besides, exchanging life stories might be a step too far, even for her, with the realization from moments ago still on her mind.

As the coffee brew, Elain quickly slipped into her bedroom to change out of her outfit. While not donning her pajamas, she decided to wear black leggings and a sweater large enough to cover her curves.

When she returned to the living room, a tray with two coffees and some snacks in her hands, Azriel had already taken a seat on her couch, quickly standing to help her with the drinks. 

When he offered her his thanks for the coffee, he looked her in the eye – an obstacle in itself and quite unexpectedly ruining Elain’s heartbeat – and said the words in such sincerity that Elain blushed. She dismissed it, of course, trying to divert his attention by offering him snacks. 

She must have appealed to a sore spot because he stayed serious. “I don’t ever take offers of food and drink for granted. Especially not that of a woman. My mother … We weren’t exactly treated generously by my biological father.”

So … nothing too hard to talk about then. His unexpected honesty left Elain speechless for a couple of moments. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” With a small teasing smile, she added, “Your manners are impeccable, if I do dare say.”

He bestowed her a crooked grin. “I learned from the best how not to be.”

Dear Lord. Elain didn’t know whether to be horrified about what he must have endured or to be impressed how well he seemed to handle – even joke about it – now. She decided in favor of both feelings. She reached for the cup of coffee and took a sip, not quite knowing what to do with her hands.

She really shouldn’t ask him about his family, although she wished to.

“Shall we get to work?” she asked instead. He nodded and grabbed the box he’d insisted on carrying all the way up to the 5th floor.

Elain handed him her solution sheet and explained how she proceeded while grading her students’ tests. He quickly followed and silence settled as they began to work together. 

Every now and then, Azriel asked her about her opinion on certain answers, whether he should give pity points or if she gave bonuses for extra clever answers. Elain had the feeling that the more time passed, the more he opened up, even cracking jokes she wasn’t expecting. Behind Azriel’s quiet façade there was hidden a male who seemed certainly fond of using dry humor. More than once, Azriel had her snorting in little ladylike manner. 

After most of the tests were graded and they’d settled for talking about their colleagues, the discussion turned to Coach Cassian and Nesta Archeron. Elain was glad to be sharing some of her frustration with Azriel. 

“I tend to sneak away whenever the two of them are in the same room,” she admitted, grimacing as she remembered her last encounter with the two of them – in a heated argument right there, in the hallway to her class. Elain hid a good minute around the corner before deciding she’d take the long way even if she ended up being late to class. 

“I don’t even try to be sneaky,” Azriel deadpanned. “I just leave the room without them noticing. At some point they’ll combust – I hope to be far, far away when that day comes.”

Elain giggled. “I would chide you for saying that but, unfortunately, I know my sister, and she’s going to drive Cassian crazy until he willingly succumbs on his knees.”

Azriel grinned. “My brother won’t disappoint. He’s tough.”

It wasn’t the first time Elain saw the apparent closeness between them. She leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms above her head and trying to relive some of the ache in her lower back from sitting too long. Azriel’s eyes narrowed on her face as if he was taking pains to avoid looking elsewhere. A smug kind of satisfaction sparked in her chest. 

“How did you two get to know each other?”

Azriel sat back too, crossing his arms. The movement made the fabric of his plaid shirt strain around his biceps. Unlike him, she couldn’t help her eyes sweeping over the slope of his muscled arm. If he noticed, he didn’t show.

Wasn’t it enough that he was sweet, good-looking and clever? Why the extra muscles?

“We were dorm mates at uni and he quickly decided he would cling to my person and never let go,” he explained. Elain, again, pictured him in his uni times. Perhaps the line around his jaw that indicated he was so very male had been missing then. Less adult, maybe.

“You loved it though, didn’t you?”

He grinned, a little embarrassed and scratching his brow. “He’s one of those people who make it damn hard not to love him.” Unlocking his arms from his chest, the smile toned down into an expression of pride. He reached for a pen to fiddle with and added, quieter, “Cassian is also one of the strongest and most loyal people I know. He’s the family I chose.” 

It made something with her heart, him openly and confidently admitting to love his brother from the heart. This wasn’t something she’d expected to hear from him with such ease.

“So…you think Nesta should go easier on him?” 

This made him snort, vulnerability forgotten. “I think they’re perfect together just the way they are. They both like a good challenge. It’s just unfortunate for the rest of us who have to endure them.”

Elain drew a tiny flower with her pen as she contemplated his answer. For the first time in hours, her mind drifted to the love letter. Funny how in Azriel’s company that note didn’t come up in her thoughts. 

“I don’t know how the two do their angry flirting all the time. I would be perfectly fine to just enjoy peace with my chosen one.”

“People want different things from life. Nesta and Cassian are exceptional in most parts. They’re not like us.”

Elain’s eyes snapped up to Azriel’s, wondering if she’d heard correctly. 

_Like us._

Was that …? No. No, that’s not how flirting worked. _Don’t go down that path, Elain. Don’t pour gasoline to your stifled flame._

Just because they shared that peaceful nature didn’t mean they should _share_ it. That’s totally not what he meant. It didn’t matter that he was kind of blushing now – he made it clear that he didn’t date colleagues. 

Even now, remembering that moment two years ago as Elain was getting to know all of her brand-new colleagues in her brand-new job fresh out of uni, brought the face-slapping feeling of embarrassment back. 

She hadn’t meant to snoop nor intended to stick her nose into anyone’s business. Maybe she’d tried to figure out whether the cute, nerdy math teacher was in a committed relationship for … herself.

Because a week into her new job and he’d caught her eye. He’d intrigued her from the moment they met and well, she couldn’t have known that asking him whether he was in a relationship with the blonde Spanish teacher – they seemed to know each other _quite_ well, to her chagrin – would not only result in an abashed reddening of his entire face but also end up crushing all her tiny hopes from the beginning. 

The picture of stiffness in his shoulders, the caught off guard look on his face, as he quietly but vehemently told her _No_ and _I don’t date_ _colleagues_ – it was still there, in her mind.

Elain didn’t remember feeling quite as embarrassed as she did in that moment, thinking he knew exactly _why_ she’d asked. 

They hadn’t talked about dating – or him dating Mor in particular – ever again, after that.

She was glad though, because who knew how deep she would have fallen without knowing that the possibility for them to become reality didn’t even exist. So, it was only in her best interest to remain uninterested in pursuing a relationship with Azriel. Or at least pretend to be uninterested. 

“Well, I’m quite sure they’ll break each other’s hearts a dozen times before declaring themselves official. We have a long way to go,” she mumbled.

Az nodded in agreement, drawing his fingers through his thick hair when both fell silent. He opened his mouth as if to speak yet closed it again, deciding against it. Scratching his neck, he finally straightened and, “Can I use the restroom, please?” 

The minutes he was gone, Elain began gathering the graded test papers. She had to admit, working with Azriel was a lot more efficient than doing this excruciating task all by her own. She would have taken at least two afternoons to grade every paper. They’d finished in only a few hours. 

Speaking of … one look over her shoulder revealed the setting sun, an artful display of soft yellows and pinks and oranges across the sky like one of Feyre’s paintings. She would have to prepare dinner at some point.

Her stomach grumbled with impatience. Take-out food it was, then. 

Azriel returned when she finished packing up. “It’s gotten late,” he noticed with a glance outside. “I should probably leave.”

Elain came to her feet, adjusting her sweater. “We could have dinner,” she found herself offering. Why was she exactly suggesting that? “Just ordering pizza or whatever you like. It’s on me. I would like to thank you for helping me today.”

Azriel’s lips quirked to the side though Elain couldn’t decide if it was the smile one gave when they were about to politely refuse an offer or if he was genuinely amused.

“You know, this was my returning the favor for the other day. You don’t need to thank me for thanking you.” He buried his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I should really be going though.”

She shrugged with a smile and escorted him into the hall where he donned his jacket and slung his satchel across his shoulder. Elain accompanied him outside too, since his bike was still in her car. He turned to her after he placed it back onto the street. 

“You’re sure I shouldn’t drive you home?” Elain worried, wrapping her arms around herself. A cool breeze blew through her hair. 

“I’ll be fine. Thank you,” Az replied, his fingers drifting through his hair, trying to keep it out of his eyes. Elain once more noticed how handsome he actually was. Her heart fluttered in her chest. She decided that it was enough butterflies for today.

“Well, then. Thanks again for helping me out. I’ll see you at school.” She waved and hugged herself again since without her coat it really wasn’t warm enough to be strutting about in leggings and a thin sweater. 

After he left – Elain stood there for a couple more seconds, despite the freshness of the weather, watching and waving again while he rode down the street – she quickly dialed the number of her favorite pizza place and hurried into the warmth of her apartment. 

Half an hour later, Elain Archeron sat on her couch with a slice of hot pepperoni pizza in her hand and an episode of The Office running on TV, kind of wishing Azriel hadn’t left. 

***

Later that evening, at the same time, Azriel Asker sat on his couch, sipping the chicken soup he had cooked after his mother’s recipe – his favorite – and tried to focus on the quiz show running on the screen of his TV. His mind drifted, though, again and again to a woman with brown eyes and a lovely, cozy apartment.

He’d been inside her home today.

The place she awoke every morning, where her clothes lay scattered all around and her feet traced the floor probably for the thousandth time. She had so many photos lining her walls and every other surface where a plant wasn’t already occupying space that he saw her life like a film in his mind. She also owned _many_ plants.

Azriel could have spent an entire day in there, walking around like it was an art museum.

The craziest of all things was that she had welcomed him like he was an actual friend and not just a coworker. Elain Archeron shared with him an intimacy he had never shared with any of his colleagues that weren’t already his family. So, he had shared some of his own too.

Instead of wrecking his brain whether he had given away too much – she did seem a little uneasy by his comments about his biological father – or focusing on the nervous energy in his veins, he thought about the calming details he would remember from today, one specific occupying his mind right now: Elain knowing how he drank his coffee. Offering it to him with a pinkish shade to her cheeks.

For once, _he_ had been seen instead of being the one noticing everything. He wondered if it was him, she saw or if it just lay in her nature to be thoughtful enough to remember details.

Even a fraction of possibility for the former was enough to make him warm inside.

A strange day indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand that's it for today. 
> 
> Since I love talking to you, I'm really curious to know what you think of everything that has happened in this chapter! What's with the secret admirer and the love note - was it a one time thing? What about the Azriel POV you've gotten? This was an Elain-POV-only fic until one of my lovely mutuals on tumblr asked for Azriel's thoughts, so here we are 😘
> 
> I hope you enjoyed Part III - let me know what you think! Until next Sunday xx


	4. Chapter 4

Elain spotted the cup of coffee on her desk immediately, the next day, when she strolled into her classroom. It was still steaming, with a note stuck onto it. Curious, she picked it up and turned the cup to the light to read the words. 

_Must return every favor._

_Here are some numbers, in case me using words confuses you again._

_4 5 6 8 3 9 6 8_

_\- A. A._

She didn’t even try to stifle the grin his note brought forth. Who would have known with all the quiet shyness that Azriel Asker was actually hilarious?

Carefully taking the sticky paper from the cup, she folded and put it into the pocket of her jeans, vowing to tease the life out of Az later. 

Now she was content to think about how he’d went out of his way to buy her coffee and bring it to her classroom in the morning. The gesture was … really sweet. For all that it was worth, he didn’t need to be returning any favor. But he’d still chosen to communicate with her like this. And Elain intended to re-return the favor. Kind of like a game. 

With that budding idea, her next classes were practically hurried through accompanied by impatience for lunch break to come so Elain would see a certain dark-haired male. To her disappointment, Cassian let her know that Azriel hadn’t been feeling well and left school after the first period to visit his doctor.

Elain was bummed but tried not to let her disappointment drag her down too much. She’d have messaged to ask if he was okay, but she didn’t have his number. She would have to talk to him tomorrow if he turned up then. Maybe she could even bring a cup of coffee to _his_ classroom in the morning. 

The teacher was thinking about how to best figure out where his first class tomorrow was to take place as she packed her bag and locked the room after her freshmen left, walking quickly to gather her coat and gym bag from where she’d stored them in the teacher’s lounge. Hitting up the gym twice a week after work was barely compensating her sweet tooth but it was all the female was willed to do in that department. 

Reaching for the sticky note of Azriel’s, Elain took a second to read the words – and numbers – again, grinning stupidly for what must have been the tenth time, and buried the paper in the pocket of her coat instead, lest she’d forget and ruin it the next time she was to do laundry.

In the process, her fingers brushed upon another piece of paper. 

Without thinking, she took it between her fingers and held it out. Her heart started thumping faster in her chest when she saw her name written atop in elegant handwriting.

_To Elain_ , it said. 

Quickly folding it open, Elain read the words once. And then, again. 

_For the liveliness of your mind, I did._

There was no doubt in her that this was another quote – certainly from Pride and Prejudice as well. Not remembering the exact context yet, she quickly pulled out her phone, her own heartbeat loud in her ears, and typed in the words, finding an excerpt of the chapter. 

The quote originated from the same last few pages of the book the first note referenced. Mr. Darcy was giving Elizabeth an insight to his feelings before their happy marriage.

In the same conversation, Mrs. Darcy asked her husband, _“Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?”_

“ _For the liveliness of your mind, I did_ ,” was the response the woman received.

Elain inhaled, trying to soothe her somersaulting heart, biting her lip to hide the smile that threatened to overtake her face with the words sinking in.

This note happened to be the most romantic thing to ever encounter her. And she was quite dumbstruck as she stood there, all by herself, taking a solid five minutes to stare at the words between her fingers.

Following a momentary intuition, Elain reached into the pocket of her coat and grabbed Azriel’s sticky note this time. Her hands were slightly shaking as she held both next to each other and compared the handwriting.

Disappointment was a sinking feeling in her gut as soon as she realized they were completely different. While the anonymous’ writing was more of an elegant, careful one, Azriel’s resembled one of a hurried, scrawly math teacher. 

The realization that she must have been wishing, against her better judgment, Az to be the writer of these notes was like a knot in her throat. But now, she had the undeniable proof that he wasn’t her secret admirer. 

_You already knew that_ , she chided herself and brushed the thought of him aside with some difficulty and a bruised heart. 

Straightening her inner posture, she concentrated on the note again. Figuring out who was responsible for these words was what mattered dearly, now that a second had arrived. Perhaps the story she so wanted waited just around the corner for her to make an effort.

So, Elain contemplated, letting her eyes trace the room for more clues. It could have been anyone, really, who put the note into the pocket of her coat, because she’d hung it here earlier this morning. Anyone could have seen her do it, would have an entire day to hide a love letter without her noticing. 

It was exhilarating, to have someone passing you love letters, when you had no idea who that person was. It could have been one of the teachers, the janitor – hell, even a stranger from the street who’d managed to sneak into here. Not that it was likely anyway. And the janitor probably had twice as much age as Elain, not to mention his wife and children. 

Besides, only teachers had a key to this room. So Mor’s suspicion must be right after all. One of the teachers was – most likely – writing love letters to her. 

Elain clutched the small square of paper in her right hand and grabbed her stuff, hurrying out of the building. She needed to be in the gym and run off the nerves fluttering in her belly. 

Forget about her sweet tooth – only the looming of something as utterly exciting and equally terrifying as this could make her want to run miles. 

…

Elain had a plan. She would figure out who sent her lovely Pride and Prejudice quotes and see what it was all about. Whether the person behind them was truly smitten with her. If the love story she desired was a breath away.

Most of the teachers at Velaris High were familiar to her. Working here for the past two years and being the social butterfly that she was, she’d spoken to everyone at least once or twice. 

It was true that some of them were closer than others, but whoever the anonymous was, they must knew about her fondness for Jane Austen’s story or this would have been a coincidence too well placed. So it could only be someone she talked to enough to bring up her favorite book – or, for all that it was worth, the movie.

There wasn’t a movie more frequently watched in her home than the adaptation from 2005 with Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen. Honestly, it was a masterpiece – how would she not end up dreaming about her very own Mr. Darcy? It was only convenient her secret admirer had quoted the handsome, brooding male too. She just needed to figure out who knew this part of her. 

So, on the next day, Elain began her investigation by talking to every teacher she crossed paths with. Finding a way to mention Pride and Prejudice and gauge their reaction was her intention and the plan she’d made for starters. 

It hadn’t worked quite as she would have liked. No one seemed to understand why she would ask them if they knew the movie. Whether they’d read the book and who their favorite character was and why. Elain might have been a little too inquisitive, might have looked a bit too eager to get the hint she was searching for. It wouldn’t be a surprise that some of her colleagues started to think she was weird.

But the end of the day grew closer and she had yet to find a clue. Checking her coat – she’d intentionally hung it where everyone would have access – every other hour for more notes proved to be fruitless, too. The secret admirer kept to the shadows for now.

Then, just as she was about to give it up for the day, locking her classroom after finishing her lesson, the one person she had hoped to cross paths with the entire day strode down the corridor – one hand buried into the pocket of his blue jeans and the other holding his phone – a smile on his lips. 

Elain didn’t hesitate as she called his name, probably way too loud, given how he almost dropped his phone in shock. 

“Lucien! Hi!” 

The male turned to her, his fire-red hair swishing with the movement.

He had really pretty hair. 

Lucien blinked once, momentarily replacing the surprise with a polite smile. “Hello, Elain. How are you?” 

Genteel manners and a pleasant voice, too. 

“I’m great! Just finished for today,” she grinned at him. “Your classes start relatively late, right? Are you headed there now?” 

Lucien glanced at his phone, checking the time. “Yes, I’m to start in a few minutes.”

“Oh.” Elain straightened the strap of her bag against her shoulder. “I don’t mean to keep you then.”

The male waved dismissively and bestowed her a charming smile that instantly warmed her. He took a step toward her. 

“I still have a few minutes. How is your semester going? Still liking Velaris High?” 

So far, so good. He seemed truly interested in her answer.

“Yes! I love my students and I love to work here. It’s always been such a dream of mine to contribute to society and this is the perfect place to fulfill that wish,” she explained truthfully. 

Lucien’s smile softened with her words. “That’s honorable. I’m glad for you.”

“What of you?” Elain asked. “Which plays are on the schedule this semester?”

A perfect opportunity for him to give her a hint. If he answered with Pride and Prejudice now, he ought to have left her the notes, right?

But Lucien only shrugged his shoulders, grinning sheepishly. “I can’t complain. I’ve taken some classics and tried to give them a personal touch instead of going for established interpretations. We’ll see how it turns out.”

Not the answer she had braced herself for, but a hint, nevertheless. Pride and Prejudice _was_ a classic after all. Excitement stirred in Elain followed by a surge of hesitancy she couldn’t explain.

_Personal touch._ Could this mean what she thought it might?

“Sounds like you’re enjoying your creativity,” she mumbled, shy to hold his eyes more than a few seconds now that she seemed to have a first clue to her investigation.

They fell into a moment of silence; Lucien finally catching her gaze and smiling when she blushed. Dear Lord, he was gorgeous. But she was letting him distract her from asking the important questions. For some reason, they wouldn’t leave her mouth. 

What if he _was_ her secret admirer? Was she okay with that? Did she even want the mystery to be solved so quickly – or did she enjoy the sensation of this little game all too well? What was she to _do_ once finding the romantic who left her love notes?

Before she got the chance to ask him, Lucien glanced at his phone again. “It was nice catching up with you, Elain. I should get going though before my students start using _their_ creativity for havoc,” he joked, chuckling. Elain found herself equally disappointed as relieved. Strange. 

“Oh, of course. Have a nice afternoon.” She smiled at him which he returned, his eyes lingering on her face. Before he turned, he spoke again. 

“You should visit my class some time. I think you’d enjoy watching my students play.”

Her heartbeat picked up. Oh, well. This was another major hint, wasn’t it? She pictured him directing a play of Pride and Prejudice when she arrived, giving her the confession of the decade. How sweet a declaration that would make. As far as Elain was concerned, Lucien seemed capable pulling off something as romantic as that. And as romantic as her love letters. 

Her excitement over this new clue must have bled into her smile, because his eyes lit up when she offered him one. “I would love to.”

“Are you free tomorrow afternoon then?” he was quick to suggest, grinning crooked.

Elain’s eyes widened imperceptibly. Tomorrow already? She found herself nodding away the hesitation. “Sure. Why not?”

Lucien smiled again, pleased, and continued his way, while Elain stared after him. Despite the nervous energy in her veins, her grin couldn’t be contained.

She was still thinking about Lucien and his charming smile when she collected her things and left the building, walking towards her car over the school yard. 

A familiar figure loomed to the right, catching her eye as he turned around the corner with long, fast steps, unawares to her presence. Without thinking twice, Elain picked up her pace, following the dark-haired male she hadn’t seen in two days. 

“Hey Azriel!” she exclaimed when she found him kneeling and working open the lock on his bike. 

Caught off guard, Az jumped and promptly bumped his head into the handlebars, cursing quietly. Elain quickly knelt next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Oops. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” 

He stared at her, first in surprise and then, reddening to the roots of his hair. “Elain.”

Again, her name. Elain labeled the undertone as shock and embarrassment this time and stifled her smile. He would always stay true to himself, wouldn’t he? And make her smile with simply saying her name like that. 

“Yes, it’s me.” She eyed his brow. “You okay?” 

Azriel rubbed the sore spot on his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

He didn’t move, neither did she take her hand off his shoulder. Their eyes met by accident and they just held onto it, sharing a moment either waiting for the other to speak or being captured by the sudden spark of electricity buzzing back and forth between them. She wasn’t sure if he felt it, but Elain definitely decided there must be electricity in her veins.

He was quite warm beneath his trademark plaid shirt and brown leather jacket. Warm and … muscular. For a second, the female wondered what it would feel like to just let her hand wander into his neck, where black hair met bronze skin. She quickly brushed the thought away and removed her fingers. In case they generated a will of their own. 

When she cleared her throat the moment as well as the energy between them dissolved.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?” she asked out of the good-natured worry she’d felt over him, wondering if everything was okay after he’d been to the doctor’s yesterday. 

They came to their feet, Elain remembering in a flash her plan that involved coffee and making a game out of returning him the favor he’d returned to her. She’d completely forgotten about their shenanigans after receiving the second note. 

Azriel seemed warier than usual though. Somehow tense. She shot him a reassuring smile. “I hope everything went well yesterday.” 

At his clueless expression, she explained, “Cassian told me you weren’t feeling good so you went to the doctor’s.”

Azriel’s brows lifted, recognition dawning. “Uh, yes. It wasn’t anything after all. Just migraine.”

Elain smiled, relieved. He only scratched his neck, still blushing and avoiding her eyes.

If the female wasn’t mistaken, Az acted even shier than usual – as if he’d forgotten all about the other day when he’d made her laugh more than once with his cocky humor.

“How was your day? Anything, uh, exciting?” he attempted conversation.

There was certainly something exciting happening in her life right now. The image of Lucien’s face popped into her mind, his sweet manners, and Elain was pretty sure she blushed too. But she deemed it best not to tell anyone about the newest note and her maybe-discovery. She was pretty sure Azriel wouldn’t like to be reminded of the love note drama _again_. Especially when he seemed to be extra shy out of nowhere. He was cute though, as always.

No. No, he wasn’t.

“Um, not exactly,” she replied, clearing her throat. “I guess everything’s as it’s used to be. Nothing new.” 

Az straightened his glasses, moving the flop of hair out of his brow that he never managed to stick out of his face. Elain began to think that touching his glasses was a tic of his, a gesture of nervousness. 

“That’s cool,” he muttered, “Cool.” 

He squinted over her shoulder across the yard, right when the sunlight hit his eyes and brought the hazel forth. Elain had never noticed the green and golden streaks in them. She sure did in this moment.

_He’s acting really weird today_ , the biology teacher thought, scrutinizing the male. _Probably because I shocked the hell out of him appearing out of thin air like a bloody stalker_. 

Nice. Better to just leave him be for now. Besides, she ought to head to the gym anyway.

“Well, I’ll go now. I’m working on my cardio this week.” She pointed toward her gym bag and gave him her brightest grin, waving. “See you tomorrow?”

He returned a hesitant _See you_ and a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Elain wished he would just come to trust her like he trusted Mor and Cassian. They were getting along wonderfully, and he’d even seen her home, for God’s sake. But she knew there was a part of him that was a loyal friend, one with a hilarious humor if he felt comfortable enough to show. She just had to make him feel like he could be himself with her, at all times, so he began making lame jokes over a cup of coffee again. 

Wait … the coffee! 

Elain whirled around, calling for Az’s name as he was proceeding to sit on his bike. His head snapped around. 

“Where is your first class in the morning?” she called across the yard, squinting to register the expression on his face. 

She expected it to be one of confusion. 

“Room 121. Why?” he called back. 

Elain grinned. “Just wait and see!” Then she added some random numbers, shouting them across the yard like a senseless idiot. She didn’t care though, because it would be worth it in a second. 

At first, Azriel didn’t move, didn’t seem to register. Then, understanding her jab at him, he shook his head and smiled to himself. 

There. There he was. 

***

It was true that Az was shy in nature, happier in his own bubble of self plus the chosen family he had acquired over time along with his mother.

But there was this one person, a woman honey-haired and pure hearted, who never seemed to give up on him, however stupid, quiet, awkward or shy he behaved.

She made him smile.

All the way down the road from school, across town, to his apartment. He was smiling when he entered his home, when he scratched Baloo – the lazy black cat who never even deigned to greet him by the door – behind his ear, and he was still smiling when he heaved his satchel from the shoulder.

When he stepped into the bathroom to spray his face with cool water, his own reflection showed a male with blushing cheeks and twinkling, hazel eyes. He looked alive.

Az stood there, watching how he couldn’t, _couldn’t_ , stop the smile from overtaking again.

This wasn’t the first nor the last smile she’d coax from him, that much was clear. After all this time, it was clear.

Whatever Elain Archeron was doing to him, Azriel finally decided he wanted more of it. Ardently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's good to be back again! 😍
> 
> We have several news in this chapter; Azriel's cute gesture in the beginning, the second love note (woohoo, the secret admirer is back!) and meeting Lucien in person.
> 
> Again, I would love to see what you all think! Especially now that Lucien is in the picture - is he the secret admirer? What will Elain do next? And what of Azriel? I hope you enjoyed the small sight into his mind.
> 
> I'm so excited to be giving you this chapter. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! 💖


	5. Chapter 5

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

Azriel exhaled, pushing his hand through his hair again, hoping it would fall perfectly over his brow like Mor sometimes gushed it did.

The thought of the blonde seeing him like this and hearing him curse sent a wave of heat over his cheeks. Oh, how she’d taunt the hell out of him.

Az didn’t curse, ever. There were too many bad memories attached to a foul mouth. He didn’t mind his friends cursing – they were quite the lot – yet refused to do it himself. Sometimes though, it would drop from his lips here and there when he truly forgot himself or was being as absurdly nervous as now.

_It’s going to be alright._

He took another breath, feeling the throes of calm settle until he remembered what he planned to do today, perhaps in a few minutes, and he lost the sense of peace again. His exhaled breath came out harsh and he paced the empty restroom, tugging at his hair, probably ruining it.

Yesterday, once Az talked himself into bravery and indulged Mor into his plan, the female had been positively elated, guaranteeing him it’d work out. Since she could generally be trusted with romance issues, he hoped Mor was right about this too. Besides, Azriel had already decided he would take matters into his hands, hadn’t he? There was no turning back.

He looked in the mirror, attempting once more to fix his hair, ignoring the way his long-sleeved shirt was clinging to his upper body and making him uncomfortable. It wasn’t like he didn’t own any other clothing than plaid button downs, but this particular shirt felt like a second skin. He swore Mor liked to torture him, this suffocating outfit was on her account.

“Fucking hell,” Az muttered one last time, staring at his own reflection, giving up on his hair.

When he cursed, at least, he felt some tidbit of tension leaving him.

His phone tinged and a message popped up on the homescreen.

_Lunchroom. Now. She’s here._

Reading Mor’s message, his heart started thumping faster in his chest. It seemed like he was to talk to Elain very soon.

Before another wave of panic rushed, Azriel closed his eyes, breathing calm. He thought about her face, her smile and the way her honey hair curled to frame her lovely features. He remembered how she looked like when she talked to him, laughed at his humor or was being shy in his presence until he convinced himself she must care for him one way or another. He had read the signs and they proved him hopeful.

Finally sensing soothing tranquility settle over him, Az opened his eyes, exhaled slowly and left the restroom just in time as another teacher walked in.

Taking the route to the breakroom, he decided there was no need for any awkwardness nor shy dancing around each other. He knew what he wanted and wouldn’t hide it from her. It might be hard, but … he would just be himself and hope that to be enough for Elain.

***

“Hello, darling!”

Elain looked up to find Mor entering the teachers’ lounge. The desk she’d claimed for herself was scattered with papers and books while she prepared her class for tomorrow and passed the time to her next lesson in an hour. 

“Hey, Mor,” she greeted, smiling and returning to her studies. 

A few minutes passed as Mor strolled leisurely to the coffee machine, pouring herself a cup. Elain more sensed than saw the female’s attention on her. She looked up again to be met with a salacious grin. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, furrowing her brows.

Mor’s grin widened further, slowly, as if she had been waiting for that question. “Oh, no particular reason aside from me wondering why on earth you like to keep such _juicy_ details to yourself while I’m over here starving for some exciting love.” The female rose a perfectly plucked, thin brow.

Immediately, Elain’s face heated. How in the Heavens had she figured it out so fast? Elain didn’t mention the second note to anyone. 

“I – uh, I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” she stuttered, quite unconvincing. 

Mor sauntered to her desk. “I’m pretty sure you do. I guess it’s my fault for not noticing sooner.”

Elain remained silent as she searched for an excuse to dash out of here well knowing Mor would rather dive over the table and break her leg than letting her leave now.

She sighed, giving up. “I would have told you eventually, but it’s only been a day. I wanted to figure out who was responsible for it before telling anyone.”

This seemed to confuse the blonde. “Honey, what are you talking about?” 

“The second note I found. Wait…” Elain groaned and slapped her forehead at Mor’s visibly surprised expression that quickly turned into a bright, full grin, overtaking her entire face. The female never knew about the note.

“A new note! Cariño!” 

_Great_. 

“Um, yeah,” Elain fumbled. “I found a new note yesterday.”

Mor began clapping her hands, excitement in person. “What did it say? Where did you find it? Tell me everything!” 

So, Elain did. She told her everything but for her conversation with Lucien and the strong suspicion he might be the one to address her with his notes. 

“Aww, that’s so sweet! He practically admitted he’s in love with your mind, then? I’ve got to give him that, he’s a hopeless romantic,” Mor gushed, grinning from ear to ear. 

Elain giggled. “I still struggle to believe someone would feel about me that way for real while I’ve had no clue all this time. Perhaps he really knows nothing of me but my favorite movie and just attempts to woo me,” she mused, thinking about how little Lucien and she had spoken to each other in essence. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but you just wait and see. I’m always right.”

Rolling her eyes, Elain smiled. “The resemblance to Rhys is uncanny.”

The female chuckled in delight, shrugging one shoulder. 

“Wait,” Elain halted. “What did you think I was talking about at first anyway?” 

The busybody expression returned to the blonde’s face. “ _That_. I heard Azzy came over to your apartment the other day.”

Elain straightened, surprised to hear Az deemed it an occurrence worth telling his close friend. Perhaps it meant to him exactly what it did to her. “He told you? Well, he didn’t _come over_. We went together after school to work at my place. He helped me with my exams.” 

“Az doesn’t tell me anything,” Mor dismissed, waving a hand, “Cassian told me.” Her grin turned devilish. “I’m sure you had lots of fun.”

“We were just working!” Elain sputtered, blushing under that knowing look in Mor’s eyes. 

“Oh, that’s totally what you were doing.” The female winked like she knew exactly they’d been doing anything but working. Elain thought her face might turn beet-red.

“We were!” she called, horrified.

Mor laughed loudly. “If you say so.” She stirred her coffee for a moment, then winked again, just to rile her.

Elain was painstakingly embarrassed. “Oh, hush it.” 

Mor still grinned, her sing-song voice responding, “I didn’t say a word.”

To her relief, the female let go of teasing her, and began typing away on her phone while sipping from her drink. Elain found herself wondering about the relationship between Mor and Az. She’d always believed them to have a romantically involved history or even a present, but what she’d said about Azriel “not telling her anything” made her think.

She contemplated asking the question she’d been wrecking her brain about way too often. Since they were already talking about him, she decided to just speak her mind. A chance like this rarely opened up twice in life. Elain swallowed.

“Were you two once, you know, a thing?”

Mor looked up, surprised, and broke into laughter as soon as she understood. “Honey, no! Why would you think that?”

"I mean it’s not that unlikely,” Elain quickly argued. “You’ve known each other longer than any of us and you’re pretty close, aren’t you?” 

The Spanish female tapped her chin with her finger, contemplating. “I guess it’s standing to reason that we could have gone that path, but we didn’t. Not once. Az is like a brother to me.” 

Elain furrowed her brows. “So it has nothing to do with you two being colleagues?” She hadn’t known Mor and Azriel shared a similar relationship like Cassian and Azriel.

Mor snorted. “It has its perks when your boss is also your cousin or metaphorical brother. Rhys doesn’t care for such close-minded rules and I doubt Azriel does either.”

Elain didn’t know what to think of this. Had he lied to her two years ago to shoo her away instead of just telling her he wasn’t interested? Perhaps Mor was misinformed when it came to Azriel’s ideals and professionalism at work. Then again, they knew each other more than a decade.

“Tell me, cariño,” Mor caught her eyes and wiggled her brows, back to her teasing self. “Why are you so interested in Azriel?”

Elain blushed again. A few weeks ago, Mor wouldn’t have been taking the liberty to taunt her so much. It was both a good and a bad sign she deemed herself Elain’s friend now.

“I’m not interested in him,” the female amended. “I was just curious.”

Mor allowed her the courtesy of a don’t-shit-me look. “That’s as likely as you two _just_ working when you were alone at your place.”

“Oh my God, Mor! I swear, nothing happened.” Elain hid her burning face behind a hand. Now she knew firsthand why Azriel thought the blonde had an effect on him. Hell, if she was reacting so badly to Mor’s teasing when it was the two of them, she wouldn’t know what to do if Mor ever decided she would try this with an entire audience.

“But you wish it did, don’t you?” the female probed now. “Don’t lie to me cariño, because I can smell attraction from miles away.”

Elain wouldn’t give in, not when Mor was so close with Azriel. “We’re just colleagues,” she said firmly, tightening her jaw. 

“You keep telling yourself that.”

Elain returned to skimming her study books, keeping her eyes distracted from giving away too much. “It doesn’t matter what I think anyway because as far as I know, Azriel isn’t interested.”

The Spanish teacher frowned for the first time since walking into the room. “Why would you say that?”

Elain sighed. She didn’t really want to talk about this anymore. “He made it explicitly clear to me he didn’t date colleagues.”

“He did?” Mor seemed baffled.

“Yes.” Now Elain did look up, wondering about the female’s reaction. “When I first started here.”

Mor groaned. “That stupid asshole. Now it makes sense though.”

“What makes sense?”

Morrigan shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why you two aren’t already in a disgustingly sweet relationship.”

Elain’s heart threatened to stop and fall into her hands. If Mor kept this up, she would shed the skin on her face from heating too much. She made a sound that showed her incredulity. Mor only huffed. 

“You know, you’ve got to decide who you want me to share a love story with, right?” Elain added, still affected by that statement. Did Mor really think that? “The one who sends me love notes or your childhood friend?”

The grin from earlier returned to Mor’s face, a dangerous one. She raised a brow and her eyes flashed. “Why not both?”

Elain rolled her eyes. Only Morrigan would imply a polygamous relationship of sorts. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love it.” She laughed brightly.

Elain was relieved when steps resounded from the hall outside the room, a key turning into the lock and stopping this discussion once and for all.

To her infinite misfortune, the subject of their conversation strode into the room a moment later, making her heart jump straight to her throat when his eyes seemed to search and find hers instantly. As if he had been hoping to meet her here. 

Why must he come now, with her face still heated to the roots of her hair and look so mightily gorgeous doing so? Elain did a double-take when she noticed his navy basic shirt, clinging to his arms and muscular pectorals. No trace of the sweet plaid button-downs. He looked even taller like this, his thighs strong beneath the black jeans.

Azriel’s bag was strapped across his shoulders as he cautiously closed the door behind him and turned to find both females staring. He stopped short.

“Speaking of the devil…” Mor murmured, her delighted palpable.

Azriel eyed her with an alarmed expression, he then carefully wiped from his face. Instead he voiced a suspicious, “Hello.”

Elain shot Mor a warning glance, praying the female wouldn’t give their topic of conversation away. 

Azriel glanced between the two of them, his eyes settling on Mor – narrowing. They shared a silent conversation Elain couldn’t partake in – which, admittedly, annoyed her. 

“Hey,” she quickly returned just to be able to focus back on her work again, wishing the two of them would continue their telepathic connection somewhere else.

At least she had some time to calm her heart upon Azriel’s arrival and ignored the few words spoken between the two friends until Mor left the room with an enthusiastic _See you later, lovelies!_ – leaving Elain acutely aware of Azriel’s presence alone with her. She had to force herself to not look up and find his gaze.

Her efforts yielded to be needless, for he sat directly across from her, placing an empty cup of coffee and a bag of various sweets between them on the desk. 

Despite herself, Elain sensed the smile lifting her lips even before she looked up at him. 

“You really want to challenge me, don’t you?” Azriel mused, lips notched up into a tiny smile.

“Maybe.” Elain bit her lip to hide her impending grin. “On a scale from 1 to 10, how stubborn are you?”

The male didn’t hesitate. “Solid 100.”

This teasing Az was kind of fun and refreshing. He reminded her of the day they’d spent in her apartment. “May the odds be in your favor, then,” Elain deadpanned. “Because I don’t give up easily myself.”

Her response made him grin in earnest, Elain’s stomach filling with butterflies. She realized with a start that he didn’t refuse eye contact. Hadn’t from the moment he walked in. Like he finally felt comfortable with her seeing whatever laid behind them.

There was a gleam of amusement, a spark of admiration for her stubbornness. Also … something else. Something that seemed to say, _I can’t stop thinking about you_.

With her heart hammering, Elain might have been staring at him for too long, feeling the pull, because the air between them changed and loaded with a different kind of energy; a new chemistry ignited. She gulped and averted her eyes at last, lest she’d embarrass herself. Her face must clearly express what she couldn’t with her mouth.

Az chose the moment to clear his throat and eye her books. “What are you working on?” 

Using the opportunity to keep her eyes off his, Elain flipped the cover of her biology textbook over, showing him, then shrugging. “I’m trying to find a new experiment for my students. It’s good to spice things up. It makes learning a lot more fun.”

Azriel smirked, his eyes flashing cleverly. “You like to spice things up?” He paused, barely containing the grin about to overtake his lips. “I must say I like it sweet.”

The comment hit her unexpected enough that if Elain had been drinking, she would have sputtered liquid all over her notes. As things were, her face only heated to the roots of her hair and she choked on plain air.

_A sexual innuendo. He just made a sexual innuendo. Holy twist of panties._

“Az!” she whisper-yelled, forgetting herself, the restraining of her heart, and glanced at him wide-eyed while bringing her hand to her mouth to cover her involuntary laughter. The cockiness!

“What?” he rose his brows in mock-innocence as if he didn’t just make a completely non-characteristic statement about his sexual preferences. He calmly gestured to the bag of sweets, explaining. “I was talking about these.”

Elain mastered her laughter and shook her head. He looked at her like he had successfully tickled her out of her shell. As if they’d reversed roles for this instant. Az even knowing when she held back was beyond her understanding. The more she saw of him, the more pieces of them seemed to fit together.

“You never cease to surprise me,” she told Az.

Now _this_ brought a teeny-tiny bit of color to his cheeks.

Every time she thought to see all of him, know the way his mind worked, he went ahead and confronted her with an entirely new side to himself. Yesterday he’d been more withdrawn than ever and now he was making her heart laugh when all she wanted to do was chain it to her chest.

He was a mystery. One Elain longed to solve if she went ahead and admitted it to herself. 

Maybe it was their banter and how easy they fell back together no matter how guarded their hearts, or the way she couldn’t stop staring at him. Perhaps it was a sudden boost of confidence, or the little game of returning favors they played.

Whatever it was – and whyever he decided to ask her _now_ – Azriel shocked her again, when he elegantly came to his feet and offered the words with a certain tenderness to his expression.

“Elain, would you…” He scratched his neck, a slight blush creeping upon his skin. “There’s a new restaurant outside town Rhys has been to with your sister. He told me they have great food. Would you like to go there today, after we’re finished here?” He buried his hands into the pockets of his jeans, mouth quirking to the side. “I still owe you a favor.”

Her lips formed a surprised ‘o’ as her heart began hammering away in her chest.

Was Azriel truly asking her out on a date – tonight? Someone would have to hold her body together or she would burst into tiny butterflies going all crazy with elation.

Her lips already stretched into the biggest, excited grin she might have given him, and she was about to respond very embarrassingly when her mind caught up last second.

If she were alone, she would have _wailed_ in disappointment. As things stood, Elain only wrung her hands and shot him a deeply apologetic look. “Az, I would absolutely love to. But I already made plans for this evening.”

Cruelty was an awful sin and Elain must be a sinner to watch his hopes dissolve to thin air, his expression shuttering in disappointment. He quickly hid what Elain thought she had seen crystal-clear behind a tight smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

He would turn around and leave the room, take his vulnerability and the echo of his confidence with him – those gleaming looks and his secretive smiles. She didn’t want them gone anywhere.

“What about tomorrow?” she hurried to add before his back was turned. “We could go there tomorrow.”

Azriel hesitated, not quite meeting her eyes. “Tomorrow’s Friday.”

“So?”

He seemed skeptical. “You don’t have any plans?”

She smiled at him, teasingly, and dared to hope because he hadn’t shut off completely. “I might have one in a minute.”

It took him a second but he…smiled back. Cautiously at first, like he had difficulties making himself believe she didn’t mean to reject him, then in relief when she returned the gesture tenfold.

There were those gleaming eyes and his gorgeous smile – just the way she liked them best. She might have even swooned looking at him as he kept looking at her so very handsomely.

“Tomorrow then,” he finally confirmed. “After school?”

Elain already felt the bout of nerves entering her body and her voice, when she nodded eagerly, telling him, “Yes, that’s perfect.”

The male’s smile widened with her words. “I’ll…see you tomorrow then.”

For some reason, Elain was still nodding. Perhaps, she should stop that now.

“Tomorrow you shall see me.” Being nervous surely made an awkward difference on her interactions.

It all meant nothing though when Az chuckled quietly. The sound did things to the heart that was now unchained in her chest, fluttering with freedom. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she echoed, making a game out of it. This was just another version of their habit to return each other’s favors. And he might act like he was returning her favor with tomorrow’s dinner, but Elain knew that it was more or less an excuse.

Tomorrow was a date. Tomorrow, she would go on a date with Azriel Asker. The shy math teacher of Velaris High, whom she was having sweet daydreams about since the beginning.

As elated as she felt, some of that muted down when Az gave her a final crooked grin and left the room – leaving her to remember the teacher who awaited her in his drama class in a few hours, meaning to make his students play for her. A male whose hair was as red as fire and whose charming smile had warmed her from the inside. The one who had, in all probability, sent her love letters that somehow touched her heart.

Elain thought about Azriel’s hair, black and silky. His expressive eyes and mysterious smiles. The cocky humor. All his hidden wonders.

She knew with clarity that she liked Azriel, she _really_ liked him. She had liked him for quite some time now. But Elain was certain she could like Lucien, too. 

And now, she might have set herself up on two dates with two different males.

Sweet baby Jesus.

***

Azriel squeezed his neck, almost like pinching himself, while he walked the halls of the school, heading to his next class. He didn’t wake up, so this mustn’t be a dream.

He couldn’t remember to have smiled bigger than he did now, with Elain on his mind.

For a moment, he’d thought she was trying to excuse herself from his offer and that he misread the signs majestically. Making himself so vulnerable, this could have backfired. Shaking his head, Az discarded of his doubts. Thank God for Mor’s intuition and … his own.

Elain’s eyes had spoken to him, today and all the days before, they’d told him how much she wanted this. Almost as much as he did. Almost.

Nothing would cloud his mood now – not even the red-headed teacher passing him, with a polite smile and a nod to his head. The irritating kiss-ass. Azriel was infinitely glad he’d decided to use his chance while he still had one. Competing with love letters wasn’t an easy thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elain and Azriel have a date. I repeat: ELAIN AND AZRIEL HAVE A DATE.
> 
> Thoughts? Feelings? Intuitions? What are your impressions of this chapter and what will happen next!?  
> Let me know! Things are slowly escalating...


	6. Chapter 6

The moment Elain awoke the next morning, she knew without having to look at her alarm that she’d overslept. As if the awareness of being late had woken her up to begin with.

She spotted the time anyway – and promptly cursed.

Stumbling out of bed and into her bathroom, the teacher had no time to think about how she might be too late to class. She only had enough time to glance at her own reflection in the mirror while brushing her teeth in record speed and cringe at her makeup-less face plus messy hair. Elain had made the mistake of going to bed with her hair wet, now resembling a scarecrow with how wild it looked, sticking out in places it shouldn’t.

Elain didn’t even have enough time to think about a new outfit for the day and just grabbed the blouse she’d worn yesterday – though she made sure it didn’t stink – pairing it with her same black pants. The fit was neutral enough that no one would care if she’d worn it two days running. Somehow, she’d lost the only colorful piece of clothing she’d combined with this outfit the other day – a silken scarf that would be knotted around her neck vintage-style normally. It must have been somewhere in her apartment and she would need to find it later for it was a gift which she would hate to lose.

Now, it didn’t matter. The only thing mattering in this moment was wearing clothes at all.

Sitting in her car, her stuff spread on the passenger’s seat and an apple as her sole breakfast – her stomach would raise _hell_ until lunch – lolling back and forth with the way she was racing to school, only then Elain Archeron found the time to think about what had kept her up most of the night and made her miss her alarm.

With the reminder came another curse.

“Shit!”

She had a date with Azriel today. The panic of being late had made her forget to agonize over how the evening would go. To make things worse, she was looking like a complete _moron_ who hadn’t given any thought for this utmost important occasion.

Dismayed, Elain glanced down at her wrinkled outfit and checked her face in the rearview mirror, cringing.

She was supposed to look stunning, for God’s sake. She was supposed to sweep Az off his feet.

That’s what she had spent most of the night being nervous about – amongst other things like what she would _do_ with herself the entire date, what they would talk about and whether it’d be awkward for them to be alone together as just themselves and no colleagues for once.

She’d also wracked her brain about what in the _utter_ _hell_ she’d say to the other male, Lucien, if he ever asked of her more than what she was willed to give after their … time spent together past afternoon.

Or worse, what would she do if the two males met and talked about her before she’d had the chance to clear things up? Admittedly that wasn’t likely to happen with them being mere acquaintances, if at all, but she still feared an uncomfortable confrontation with her awkwardly stuck between two males even if there was an easy explanation for all of it.

At least her situation wasn’t an emotionally confusing one for herself.

No, heart and mind-wise she was in the clear. She’d been in the clear about her decision since Azriel asked her out.

 _First things first_ , Elain thought, gritting her teeth and shaking the anxiety off as best as she could. Her focus must lay on any possibility that would allow her to look good tonight. Since she could hardly take the liberty of ditching her class in the morning to dress up for her date with Az, Elain didn’t come up with anything other than skipping her lunch and driving home later, changing into pretty clothes and applying the right amount of makeup.

Hopefully Az wouldn’t see her before then looking like a goddamn _bruja_ as Mor would’ve nicely put it, just to see her later with completely different attire. That’d easily be the most embarrassing encounter.

As soon as she was parked in one of the teacher’s parking lots, Elain ran up to the building, trying to comb her hair with one hand and holding tight to the rest of her things with the other, pressing her bag against her chest.

She pushed the door open with her shoulder and took the familiar route to her classroom. Normally, she would head to the teacher’s room first, store her stuff in one of the lockers and grab her morning coffee. No coffee today. She’d run on pure adrenaline and nerves for the next few hours.

To her absolute and definite bad luck, the math teacher of her dreams stood in the corridor leading to her destination, talking to one of his colleagues and crushing her plans in a heartbeat.

 _Shit_ , Elain thought and quickly turned back around, her feet automatically carrying her the other way.

If she’d been mature enough, she would have sucked it up, met him looking like a dumbass and explained how she’d overslept her alarm. He would have understood, probably even smiled about it.

As things were, she was acting like a 16-year-old girl too insecure to open up to her crush. The realization was hardly enough to make her turn back though. That dance of indecision would look weirder than what she’d already made the situation to be.

Perhaps he hadn’t seen her yet. If she walked faster, she would disappear around the corner and take another route to her class. The moment the thought crossed her mind, it was already too late for execution.

Luck really – _really_ , God fricking damn it – wasn’t on her side today, for someone else cut her off a second later by gently taking her arm and Elain herself quite by surprise.

That was when she first got a sniff of the catastrophe that would unravel, gasping as she looked up to meet Lucien Vanserra’s smiling eyes.

It was fascinating how they were two different colors – one russet and the other golden honey. She hadn’t paid attention to that fact until the other day when she met him in the corridor and he invited her to his play. 

“You look like I spooked you, Ms. Archeron,” he said by way of greeting and smiled teasingly. Even his voice seemed to flirt with her. _Oh-oh_. 

“That’s because you did,” Elain forced herself to return his smile politely even as her brain screamed at her to quit steering the attention of a certain someone dark-haired male to her presence. She meant to gently extricate her arm from Lucien’s grip. “I’m sorry but I’m really late to class,” she excused, quietly, wanting to go her way immediately. 

Lucien’s smile stayed where it was. He was irritatingly undeterred by her hurry, even letting himself hold her hand as she drew away to keep her for a moment longer. 

Perhaps his sudden confidence would have impressed her in any other circumstance – if she hadn’t been so painfully aware of Azriel’s presence in close vicinity. She hoped he was still unaware to hers though and didn’t misinterpret this entire situation. 

“I only need a minute of your life,” Lucien assured, still smiling, and reached into the back pocket of his jeans without giving her the opportunity to refuse. Elain stifled a groan, but it was no use. His assurance when it came to her was most likely her fault, in parts. She’d been a little too enthusiastic when invited to a simple play of a colleague. Had thrown him a smile too bright then, maybe.

Lucien _was_ nice and charming, no doubt about that. He was witty even, with a sarcastic tweak to his humor. 

She had spent a nice afternoon with him as he guided her through Romeo and Juliet – _not_ Pride and Prejudice – even if he had interpreted the entire story in a way similar to his humor: cutting and ironic. The problem was, Elain loved the Shakespearean story for its hopelessly romantic tragedy. And the bigger issue here was that she had agreed to a date with Azriel Asker – and therefore wasn’t interested in being romantically involved with Lucien Vanserra – even if he had sent her those cute love notes. And not just because Az had been her crush for a while.

Lucien’s love notes were beautiful, in all honesty, and the most romantic gesture anyone ever made for her. Those notes seemed to be full of thought and meaning she’d yet to decipher. But still and for some obscure reason, Elain didn’t feel like Lucien and her would match like she had come to imagine after reading his letters.

In her childish daydreams, she had once dared to hope her secret admirer would pull off this great declaration of love just for the sake of romance. God, as long as she’d known herself, Elain wished for her very own, incredibly romantic love story – something worth telling her grandchildren in the future. In Lucien’s case that could have been by playing Pride and Prejudice and citing one of the quotes he had already given her anonymously. But it just didn’t happen and surprisingly … she had been okay with that.

For one thing, she might like the idea of the letters and such a dreamy start for her story more than she liked the secret admirer. She didn’t know a single thing about them – whether it was truly Lucien like she strongly assumed or one of the other teachers. For another thing, Azriel was finally willing to give her a chance.

A _real_ chance she’d longed for, unwittingly at first, then deliberately the more she got to know him.

Lucien was great in his own way, for sure. Someone she could clearly admire even if he wasn’t the hopelessly romantic sweetheart, she had pictured him to be from reading his notes. 

He was a sweetheart nevertheless, and she was an idiot who seemed to be stuck in the very situation she’d been keen to avoid. 

Elain would have to make sure Lucien realized she didn’t mean to pursue any romantic relationship with him because she glimpsed a storm where he was concerned, a stark wind beneath the layer of sarcasm and charm. What Elain needed was a breeze though, something less sharp and more peaceful. In all the poetic ways to put it. 

If she could all but let him into the process of her mind right now, in this instant, and have him understand all of it. How she’d hoped for a tale of love with another; how a sweet love note and a Spanish teacher had put silly dreams in her head and confused her expectations where the drama teacher was concerned, only for her original crush to finally, maybe, hopefully, return her feelings _now_. 

_At least_ , Elain thought, _nothing happened yesterday_. Lucien didn’t try a thing, and simply offered her a nice afternoon with a colleague. No wild chemistry sparking between them either, at least nothing beyond his already very charming person. At least that’s what she had believed after her long night of overthinking.

In hindsight yesterday was nothing close to a date. Not that she would ever agree to a date at her workplace, right? Silly Elain, now go to sleep because you will have to be up early in the morning to get ready for an actual date with an actual crush of yours. 

_Ugh._ Hadn’t worked well, had it? 

And now, Lucien was holding her hand like they shared some actual bond beyond friendship. Which they didn’t. Except, he assumed his love notes entitled him to more. 

“I found this after you left yesterday,” Lucien began and finally let go of her hand to show her what he had pulled out of the pocket of his jeans. Elain’s brows rose as she beheld the vintage-patterned silken scarf in his hands. “I believe it’s yours.”

 _Oh_ that’s where she had lost this precious piece of fabric then. “Thank you,” she mumbled, relieved, momentarily forgetting her dilemma. “I’ve been looking for this _everywhere_.”

She took the soft neckerchief between her hands, remembering how her baby sister Feyre had purchased this for her 18th birthday. This simple scarf was of huge emotional value to Elain. Not to mention a true collectible from a garage sale of an old lady who had been a real fashionista back in her days.

“It suits you well,” Lucien complimented, pushing a strand of his hair that had come loose from the low bun behind his ear and giving her an attractive grin. Elain blushed despite herself. She wasn’t exactly immune to compliments or blatant flirting after all.

Before she was able to get in another word, Lucien spoke up again. “I really enjoyed yesterday. I was hoping we could do that again, sometime.” His eyes twinkled mischievously, his voice softened. “I would like to take you out first though, somewhere nice. What do you say, Elain?” 

He … was asking her out, wasn’t he? Right here, right now. A real date this time. Good Lord.

Caught off guard, Elain stared up at him, mouth dry and brain freezing every thought.

Was there a nice way to reject him? She couldn’t imagine a single scenario Lucien would walk off not disappointed. “I – Lucien, I…”

Lucien’s eyes strayed from her face and over her shoulder before she finished her embarrassed stammering.

A polite smile replaced the private one on his face. “Hey, man,” he greeted the person that was now clearly standing to Elain’s back.

Suddenly, the female all but felt the pull of the presence behind her – too late, all too late – remembering why she was so keen on leaving this hallway in such a hurry.

Shit. _Shit_.

She whirled around. The instance she glanced into the dark-haired male’s face who stood there like frozen stone, she would have loved the ability to beam herself to another planet right about now. For Azriel’s eyes were speaking volumes she didn’t want to read.

A heavy weight of foreboding settled onto her chest, the threads of disaster slowly coming together.

Azriel’s gaze wandered from Lucien to Elain, to her messy hair and wrinkled clothes from the past day, the scarf in her hands that he must have seen Lucien return to her and the way those two stood closer than mere acquaintances from work, having been holding hands a mere minute ago. She watched in horror as their words added up and her crush jumped to conclusions that couldn’t have been further from the truth but looked very damn obvious right now.

First, those expressive eyes behind his black-rimmed glasses flared in hurt – so bright and impressive, the emotion was like a straight punch to Elain’s chest. His already rigid figure seemed to lock up even more, spine ramrod straight.

Their gazes met, and Elain clearly, painfully, saw the disbelief that added and the betrayal that multiplicated into the total of his anguish. His eyes turned downward and that was all it took him to replace the flare of emotions she’d seen so evidently by a brick wall of blankness, an exterior icy enough to freeze her panicking heart. His lips tightened.

Not acknowledging her presence with his eyes again, Azriel nodded to Lucien. “Hey.”

The drama teacher seemed to wait for more, or maybe he expected Elain to say something too. How would he know the female beside him was fighting against the pain in her chest, processing the cold dismissal of her friend, her promised date? When she failed to make a sound, they all remained in an awkward circle of silence, until Lucien cleared his throat.

“So…Azriel, right? How is your semester going?” he inquired, ever the polite gentleman.

Poor Lucien couldn’t know he was part of a fatal failure. Az remained stone-faced, making clear without a single word uttered, he was in no way interested in a conversation. His jaw twitched.

“Just great,” he spit, so unlike himself that Elain snapped out of her stupor, her body finally functioning as she stepped towards him and attempted to catch his eyes.

“Azriel, can we talk for a minute? Please.”

She felt more than saw Lucien eyeing her in confusion. Perhaps finally noting the tension in the air. Elain hated to exclude him like this, but all she could focus on was the fact she couldn’t for the life of her bear the anger and hurt that was radiating from Azriel when it was all for nothing. A simple misunderstanding with a disastrous extent. The slow creeping panic reached her throat, made it constrict and tighten.

But neither Azriel acknowledged her nor time seemed to be on her side. The school bell rang drowning the last of her words, and the final latecomers filed into the hallway, walking around the three teachers.

One of them lingered with his friends in close proximity. Azriel spotted the young man and his expression turned sour.

“Steven,” he spoke the name, hard, to catch his attention. “You’re late. Again.”

“It’s only been thirty seconds since school started,” Steven protested as he pushed off the wall and leisurely reached for his backpack on the floor.

Azriel’s nostrils flared. “You’re thirty seconds late, then. I believe we’ve had a conversation about what would happen if you kept repeating your unacceptable behavior.”

Steven rolled his eyes, defiant and ignorant of his teacher. “Chill, Mr. Asker. You’re late too. I was going to go inside in a second.” The boy’s friends snickered.

Azriel didn’t let himself be fooled. “I’m sure you were. Doesn’t change the fact you’re late. What did I say would happen in this case?”

Steven caught onto Azriel’s severity and a tiny line of worry formed between his brows. “You’re not going to give me detention now, will you? I’m here! I’m not late!”

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his voice as calm as it was made of steel. “You can let me know about your concerns this afternoon when you turn up to your detention. On time.”

This afternoon? Elain’s eyes snapped to Az who still chose to vehemently ignore her.

“Today?” Steven exclaimed in disbelief, his eyes widening. “It’s Friday, Mr. Asker. Please, let me have detention next week. I had plans!”

But Azriel was unapologetic and Elain had the sinking feeling she was partly at fault for his harsh behavior.

As if he had remembered her just then, the male crossed eyes with the biology teacher. “Too bad,” he retorted tonelessly. “So did I.”

With that, he turned and disappeared into one of the classrooms, the frustrated boy in tow.

Elain could all but stare, feeling empty there, where her heart had been beating wildly seconds ago.

“The guy’s not intense at all,” Lucien chuckled, turning to Elain – probably expecting her to join him. But she couldn’t even look at the red-haired male. She was still staring at the door Az had closed behind him, not even caring to look back.

What in the utter hell just happened?

Did he truly think she would…Oh, Lord.

He wouldn’t make it to their date. The date she had been so nervous about that she hadn’t been able to sleep. The date she’d been so fixed upon she had forgotten to pay attention during Lucien’s play. 

All she had been able to think about after he’d asked her out was him, Azriel, yet it was her heart that was about to break now. Gone was the emptiness. In its place remained shock, disbelief and a very bad feeling – the aftertaste that the worst outcome to her fears had left her with in reality.

Mechanically, Elain began to walk en route to her original destination, faintly remembering she had duties to attend to. She blinked up at Lucien who stopped her by gently touching her shoulder. Lucien, whom she had completely forgotten in a matter of seconds. She felt even worse.

“You didn’t have the chance to say anything earlier,” he probed, carefully.

At her blank expression, he buried his hands into the pockets of his jeans and meant to repeat his words. “I was wondering if you’d like to–” 

But Elain couldn’t have him put himself in the same vulnerable position for a second time, knowing she would reject him.

“Lucien, I’m so sorry, but I can’t think about this right now,” she cut him off, wincing. “I just – I really have to get to my class.”

The male’s expression was one of surprise. He nodded his head and his brows drew together, creating a line of trouble on his brow. “Sure. Of course. I apologize if I imposed …”

Why must he be so considerate? Elain already felt bad as it was, she couldn’t have him apologize when it was her who was to blame for this mess he didn’t even know had dawned upon them.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Lucien, seriously. I just have to go.” 

When Elain finally reached her classroom and the chaos of her students in the hallway, she felt like she had messed with three hearts at once. 

***

Azriel should have known he never stood a god damned chance. He shouldn’t have _ever_ believed, for a single second, that this dream would work out for him.

As he pressed ahead with his lecture somewhat mechanically, his mind confronted him with the image of Elain with Vanserra, touching and blushing and flirting, there, right in front of his fucking eyes. As if his presence hadn’t mattered, ever.

Unwanted images followed up when he recalled Lucien’s words and Elain’s wrinkled clothes from the past day, and he needed to pause in the middle of his sentence to push back the sickening feeling in his stomach. They’d been with each other. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours after he’d asked her out.

The feeling of being utterly sick intensified, and he wasn’t sure whether it was the haunting images of Elain and Lucien together or if it was the realization he’d been such a complete _moron_.

There wasn’t much place for another emotion than the shitty ones he was feeling, nor enough head space for any other thoughts than the pictures in his head. Neither his heart nor his mind comprehended how in the hell this misconception of him with her had come over him.

He didn’t even know which one of the feelings to push back for the duration of his lesson. While he tried to quench the sore feeling of betrayal, the raw wound around his heart seemed to deepen, causing him to hurt even more. He never realized he’d gotten this far in his feelings for the female.

Yet … he’d never stood a chance and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. For it was all his own fault.

His own fucking fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... oops?
> 
> You're welcome to yell at me in the comments. 🙈💙


	7. Chapter 7

“This is a disaster,” Elain repeated for what felt like the tenth time. 

Her head was buried in her hands, her elbows perched on a desk in the main teachers’ breakroom. She was staring at the smooth wooden surface and wondering how the hell her day had become so unexpectedly shitty. 

“You already mentioned that,” Nesta remarked from her seat across, eyes skimming the pages of her current read. Probably another one of her smutty romances. Nesta couldn’t get enough of them although she’d never admit.

Elain didn’t bother to look up. “Because it’s true. You should’ve seen his face when he thought…” The biology teacher grimaced. “I think I’m going to puke.” 

This caught Nesta’s attention, even if just for a second, and only to say, “Don’t you get my shoes dirty.”

Elain made a whining sound. “What am I supposed to do now, Nes? He probably _hates_ me by now.” 

Nesta deigned to roll the eyes that were still stuck to the words on her books’ page. “What about talking to him?” she mumbled, as if the answer to Elain’s question was so damn obvious.

“Don’t you think I already tried that?” Elain muttered, just a second away from despair. “I waited for him after his class and he just…he ignored me. He didn’t even look at me like I was made of plain air. It made me miserable.” 

Nesta let out an irritated snort, giving her an accusing look the biology teacher deliberately ignored. “Well, I told you not to get involved with that guy. He’s no good news. I told you that weeks ago.”

The honey-haired female furrowed her brows but didn’t bother to focus her skeptical glance on her sister – who’d drive her _mad_ , by the way – and kept her head in her hands. “You did not say such thing.” 

Nesta grew stiff with the comment which went unnoticed by her sister who now buried her face into the crook of her elbow, moaning, “ _This is a disaster_.”

Nesta sighed. “Here we go again.”

In frustrated annoyance, Elain finally rose her head and stared at the elder Archeron, feeling sore her sister would show so little empathy when she was so disappointed in herself, Azriel and this entire day that she marked the edge of despair. 

“You’re not helpful at all, you know that? Do you even see the predicament I’m stuck in? He thinks I slept with Lucien just a few hours after I agreed to date him!” The words got stuck in her throat and she needed a second after pushing them out. Elain couldn’t believe that this was what she was dealing with it, amongst Azriel’s rejection from earlier she still felt stinging her heart. Her tone softened into a sound of misery. “You’re my sister, Nesta. You’re supposed to help me.” 

Nesta sighed again, finally looked up at her, and closed the book shut after a moment. _Finally_. 

“You really care about the idiot, don’t you?” 

Elain bristled at the insult even though she probably had no right after what she’d ruined between them. Besides, her heart cracked hearing the truth from another mouth.

She nodded wordlessly, for the knot in her throat wouldn’t let her speak.

Nesta rose a brow. “And you obviously don’t want him to think you had sex with Vanserra?”

Elain only tightened her lips. 

“Well then,” the English teacher concluded, giving an exasperated sigh and an expression that seemed to say _I can’t believe I’m really helping you_. “Stop moping and pitying yourself and go clear this up. Be insistent. You’re an Archeron, for God’s sake.” Nesta shot Elain a pointed look, nodding to her hunched over form and the picture of misery she seemed to portray. _Get a grip_ , the female announced without voicing the words.

Elain wasn’t sure whether she wanted to protest or moan again when she frowned and opened her mouth, but she didn’t get the chance for neither. Nesta held up her hand, _demanding_ attention as if her sister was a student of hers. Elain’s mouth shut closed involuntarily.

“He can’t ignore you forever nor can he avoid your presence as long. You’re colleagues after all. You’re bound to meet and talk to him one day.”

“One day?” the biology teacher exclaimed incredulously. “I want to see him _today_. I want this mess cleaned up and I want to go on this date with him. I don’t want him to hate me for just a second!”

Nesta already seemed done with the conversation, rolling her eyes. “Then what are you waiting for? Just go corner him or something. Make him listen. You didn’t do anything wrong so stop pretending like what he assumes about you is true. It’s just a simple misunderstanding so stop overreacting.”

Sometimes, Nesta’s cool logic drove Elain crazy with the lack of empathy. Other times, like now, it stirred her courage. She took a second to reflect her moping self.

_Yes_ , she had taken the time to whine and complain about what had happened, and there was no shame in admitting that. Being an adult and sucking it up was hard sometimes. But at least she was lucky enough to have a sister who told her _exactly_ when it was time to stop moping and start acting – even though Nesta wasn’t on board with her feelings for Azriel.

Gratitude coursed through Elain, and with it – determination. Things might have gone like the epitome of a shitshow, with everything going wrong that could have went wrong, but she still hadn’t done anything she would have to regret.

The afternoon spent in Lucien’s company … she didn’t regret that one bit. At least it helped her figure out for herself that his love notes didn’t make him the absolutely irresistible dream male she wanted to be with. He was great, surely, and she didn’t know half of him, but sometimes you felt that one wasn’t destined for you.

If Elain would never have taken him up on his invitation – be it a date or not – she would have regretted never figuring out that truth while dwelling on the what-if’s and the love notes probably for an eternity.

As for Azriel … she really wanted things to work out with him. She got it though, understood his upset and hurt and that was probably one of the things she’d regret the most of today. What she would regret even more though, would be remaining passive and not making him listen. She hadn’t slept with Lucien, for God’s sake. So this mustn’t be much of a disaster if they chose not to make it one.

All would be well if Azriel listened. Perhaps she would even go on a date with him today. Perhaps she would get her happy ending with him.

“You’re right,” she slowly nodded and sat straighter. “I should go find him.”

Nesta leaned back in her seat, a complacent expression lingering and opened up her book once more. “I saw him training with Coach Brute on the field about half an hour ago. You’ll find him there.”

“Thanks.” Elain stood to her feet then stopped short to furrow her brows when she remembered Nesta had no business near the football field. “What were you doing there anyway?”

Nesta threw her an annoyed glance that was far too edgy, even for Nesta’s standards. “I wasn’t there on purpose, obviously. I went on a walk in my free time.”

Elain’s brows shot upwards, and she almost fell back onto her seat when Nesta blushed. Coach Cassian must have more of a considerable effect on her sister than she thought. Elain remembered her conversation with Azriel a few weeks ago and felt a sting in her chest. Though she’d rather chop off her hair than ask Nesta what the hell was going on between the two hot-tempered teachers.

“Uh, sure. Thanks. I’ll try to find him.”

Before Elain left the room, Nesta called her back. The English teacher shot her a stern look, cheeks still heated. “Don’t you _dare_ mention my walk to those buffoons. Understood?”

Nesta was in far over her head.

With determination as her drive, Elain power-walked out of the school building, over the yard until she slipped past the gates to the empty football field. Apparently, there was no practice at this time of the hour during Fridays, so she didn’t expect it to be crowded. To her disappointment, there was also no Azriel to be seen. 

“Elain is that you?” a deep male voice echoed across the field and Elain whirled to see the coach jogging up to her.

“Oh, hey Cassian,” Elain greeted, using her hand to shield her face from the sun. She noticed there wasn’t a single spot on this field to relax in the coolness of shadows. A place of torture during summer, indeed. 

Who was she kidding? This place was tortuous every season of the year.

“You look like you could use a workout session,” Cassian teased, showing his canines as he shot her a grin. 

Elain grimaced, looking up to the tall male. “Nope. Not at all interested. I was actually looking for Azriel. Is he here?” she cut straight to the point of her visit, eyeing the entirety of the field again. 

“He’s just gone inside to shower off. Won’t take him long until he’s back. Can I help you instead?” Coach offered. 

Elain hesitated. “No, thank you. I just really have to talk to him, that’s all.”

Cassian furrowed his brows, looking over his shoulder to the entrance of the boy’s locker room where Elain suspected her friend was now. 

“He seemed a little…off today,” Cass started. “You probably don’t want to talk to him when he’s tense like this. He’s my brother but he sucks when he shuts down whenever he’s not in the mood. Is it an emergency?” 

Elain wrung her hands together, her chest tightening into a knot. “I’m afraid I’m at fault for his bad mood. That’s why I’m here.” She glanced down at her linked hands then back up at Coach. “It’s a stupid misunderstanding, Cassian. I have to tell him.”

The male stared at her until his mouth widened into a wolfish grin. “Wait, are you guys dating or something?” 

Seeing her alarmed expression Cassian clapped his hands together once, howling. “That’s why he was so insufferable? I’m going to kill him for not telling me shit.”

“We’re not dating!” the female hurried to exclaim, then bit her lip. “I mean, technically we agreed to have dinner tonight but –” 

Cassian didn’t let her finish, instead let out a low whistle. “Damn. My brother is a Casanova. He got the girl long before any of us had a clue.”

At this point, Elain had no idea how in all world Azriel and Cassian made sense as best friends. They were practically polar opposites of each other. Perhaps that’s why they chose one another in the first place. 

“Seriously Cassian, it’s not looking good right now. I just…Do you think he’ll be finished soon?” She peeked around the bulky male to find the field was still empty, nerves tingling down to her fingertips.

What took him so long? 

“I’ll go fetch him,” Cassian offered. When Elain thanked him, he waved his hand dismissively. “When it comes to Az, I’ll be Cupid himself.”

During the minutes it took Cassian to disappear into the boy’s locker and return, Elain tried not to get overly nervous and thought about the best way to proceed telling Az he had misunderstood the entire thing with Lucien. She didn’t mean to upset him further, but he would listen to her, no matter what. This was the only way she had left to save their date and possible romantically involved future. 

Yet, when Cassian reemerged, it was without Azriel in tow.

He jogged up to her again though this time, his brows were furrowed into an uncharacteristic frown. That couldn’t mean any good news. 

“I’m sorry, Elain, but he’s gone. He probably heard us talking. The dude’s got some bat ears,” he remarked but it was the pity in his expression that made Elain’s chest tighten.

Her heart twisted. Az really didn’t want to see her. But maybe she had one more chance, if she acted fast enough. 

“Well, he can’t have come that far, right?” she croaked. “Maybe I’ll catch him before he leaves.”

“Not to discourage you or anything,” Cassian started, looking regretful and keeping her before she made to slip back through the gate and run a fruitless case in his opinion. “But if Az doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be found. If he doesn’t want to talk…He’s got the thickest head I know,” the male hesitantly explained, shrugging his shoulders. “Just so you know.”

Elain remembered Nesta’s words and gathered her courage. “I am quite stubborn myself. And I insist this time.”

She backed up and, after a second, quickened her pace – praying she wouldn’t regret her words later. 

… 

Cassian might have been right with his assumption about Az evading a conversation he didn’t want to have because when Elain walked to where Azriel’s bike was usually secured, it was long gone.

She quickly walked up to the parking lot in front of Velaris High and peered down the street for the dark-haired male. Apart from the occasional teen and teacher about to go home, she couldn’t find whom she was looking for. 

Disappointed, she sat down on the edge of a huge flower top of stone, her eyes catching on the plants in the midst. They looked like they hadn’t been taken care of in a while. 

Regarding the wilting flowers, Elain frowned. “I guess we were both stood up, huh?” she mumbled, grazing her finger against the blossom. 

As she reached into her bag for a bottle of water and thought of giving the plant back some of its health, she saw out of the corner of her eye that a car to her right left the parking lot and drove onto the road. She didn’t give much thought to it as she threw a glance at the driver in passing.

Her eyes widened when she realized that she, indeed, recognized the dark-haired, bronze-skinned male who rode the car. 

She could all but stare as Azriel drove past her, eyes fixed ahead and jaw line sharp with tension. The female knew from the stiffness of his expression that he was aware to her presence…and deliberately ignoring it. 

Out of all the things to think, her mind caught up on: _He is driving a car_.

It dawned on her that he must have expected to drive them to that restaurant. For their date. She pictured herself sitting next to him on the passenger’s seat, grinning over at his handsome face as he shyly smiled back. 

The water swished and spilled over the bottle between her fingers as she sprang to her feet, staring after the black vehicle. 

“Hey!” she called after him, not knowing why she even bothered as he probably couldn’t even hear her. It was futile effort to make him stay. 

Elain watched as Azriel’s car didn’t stop nor slow, instead disappearing around the corner. She stood there waiting for him to come back. Maybe he’d regret standing her up and return, giving her the long-awaited date and the happy ending she so desired. 

It was hard to believe that he didn’t. She wouldn’t have a happy ending today.

***

When Azriel walked out of the locker room, hair wet from his shower and changed into the black hoodie he’d borrowed from Cassian, he stopped short.

Elain was on the field, talking to Coach Cassian.

He knew her the moment his eyes landed on the female, even all the way over the large field and him standing on the opposite side.

Quickly, he retreated into the shadows, his eyes glued to her face and his heart aching. What was she doing here?

He couldn’t hear what they were talking, and his brows furrowed when Cassian barked out a laugh. Elain, on the other hand, didn’t seem amused at all. At least, as far as he could tell from the distance separating them.

Did she know he was here? Was she waiting for him like she’d been waiting outside his classroom earlier?

He’d been so overwhelmed with his entire shitty day that he’d left without as much as acknowledging her then. He already felt bad as it was but leaving her standing there had felt so much worse.

Az didn’t have it in him to talk to her though. Not yet. Not when his hurt was still so raw, and she’d chosen another in his stead.

In fact, he couldn’t stand staying here either, in the shadows, like the goddamn fool he was and pine for another second. What was done couldn’t be undone, right? He couldn’t turn back time and unwind all he’d said and felt for her.

So Az forced himself not to care about the female he, despite everything, still felt so strongly for, turned around and walked away without as much as facing her. 

A considerable part of him still refused to believe she’d led him on so gravely. Had he misread all the signs? That part of him wanted to know what happened, _why_ it happened – he wanted to hear what she’d had to say.

It was that same part which made him hesitate before backing out of the parking lot when he spotted Elain walking up to the road through his rearview mirror.

She stopped to search the street, her eyes following the opposite direction of where he was parked. When she didn’t find what she was looking for and he saw her sitting down with disappointment clear in her features, his heart beat into his throat, torn.

For a moment, he felt like getting out of the car and walking up to her. Not because he knew what to say but because it was _Elain_ and – why? Why had she made him believe there could be more to them?

Even after all that he’d seen there was hope in him. Hope, that she might still want him, somehow.

Hope that had no reason to be.

It was that emotion, running raw and strong through his bruised heart that decided it. He’d seen enough. The more he allowed those emotions to surge through him, the more he would hurt. Because, he reminded himself, she’d already made a choice, and apparently, he wasn’t the one she decided in favor of.

So, he let ice swallow the knot in his throat and freeze that hopeful, soft part of him over for the moment being, locking the hurt away to confront another time.

His jaw tightened and his hands gripped the wheel harder. He backed out and drove past her, without allowing himself to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No date for Elain and Azriel today...
> 
> On a scale from 1 to 10, how pissed are you with me? LOL, let me know what you think! 😁💙
> 
> ps. I can't wait for this angsty times to be over


	8. Chapter 8

For the first time in a few days, Elain planned to use her lunch break to actually have lunch. 

She smiled at Tarquin – a tired one but a smile nonetheless – as he passed her in the corridor on the way to the breakroom. She hoped her coworker didn’t find her rude for not making the effort of talking to him. But she really didn’t feel like talking to anyone today. 

A groan almost escaped her when Elain remembered she’d missed entire three days’ worth of conversation with her colleagues as she spent her free time during most of her lunches to try and talk to a certain math teacher. The result of all her efforts was simply nothing.

Because Cassian had been right, if Azriel Asker didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t. Even if it was her, Elain, who kept looking for and asking about him. She was no exception to that particular rule, it seemed.

It was hard not to take it personal on every level possible. 

Elain had tried to make up for this stupid misunderstanding between them, but she had enough of sacrificing her lunches and thoughts to someone who didn’t even want to see her. Who probably didn’t even feel half of what she was feeling for him. At least, she wouldn’t keep running around in her limited free time to clear this up, even if she wanted it gone. Let him be ready to talk to her. 

Hell, she’d even spoken to Lucien the other day – not about the obvious, but a little small talk in between classes – and it didn’t go as awkward as she thought it might. Not to say she _wasn’t_ embarrassed the entire time, although he knew of nothing.

She’d credit Lucien for ignoring how she’d never said yes to him asking her out. He must truly be a sweetheart for he never even mentioned it nor did he ask her again. Quite the contrary, the male had just…talked to her. Like colleagues or friends, not demanding an answer or putting her in the situation of rejecting him. Maybe he’d realized it wasn’t the best timing and was being purely nice to her.

Elain felt a new friendship blossoming, beyond idealistic, cutesy romance.

Perhaps she should have felt something for Lucien, romantically. Maybe her heart should have wanted him and make things easier for her.

But no, she’d gone and got her feelings confused all over Azriel Asker who didn’t just not want to talk to her but who probably didn’t feel anything but disgust for her by now.

Elain swallowed and reached the breakroom, opening the door.

It was that she didn’t expect to see Azriel _at all_ that made her almost stumble over her own feet as soon as she spotted the black-haired male in the room full of teachers. A single presence in the far back, brooding over a book that was most likely filled with formulas.

Elain felt her throat drying. She wasn’t prepared to see him today, of all days, hadn’t expected it. But perhaps this was the reward for her newfound resolve. Maybe the universe wanted her to let go and let it do its thing.

She carefully stepped into the room, ignoring everyone else – save the table of teachers she usually sat with including Mor and Cassian – as if nearing an anxious cat who would take off if she moved too quickly. But Azriel didn’t seem to see her until she stood as close as she dared, across the desk he was working on. Even as he lifted his head and met her stare, he didn’t seem to react but for the emotion running through his eyes for a second and the tightening of his jaw that followed.

It was a response enough for Elain to know he hadn’t magically forgiven her. For a crime she didn’t even commit.

“Um, hi.” She offered an unsteady smile.

He didn’t really return it but at least gave her a, “Hey.”

They kept staring at each other until Elain swallowed the knot stuck in her throat and spoke again. “You were lost to me the entire week. Did you accidentally fall into a black hole or something?”

Not even a twitching to his lips. “I’ve been…busy.”

Busy hiding, perhaps.

“I imagine you didn’t exactly want to talk to me. Surely Cassian has told you I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Elain wasn’t so sure why she was being so straightforward with her words.

On one hand, she didn’t want him to look at her the way he did right now, with an uncomfortable distance, ever again. On the other hand, her pride had definitely taken a beating when he assumed the worst of her. Even though she was painfully aware how the entire image of her with Lucien had looked like, plus the words he had said to her that morning which Azriel must have heard too. She _knew_ it seemed like the worst. But he didn’t have to assume it.

Still, she added with a bit of humor and put a fragile part of her heart on the line, “I sacrificed many of my lunches for you.”

Despite the nature of her truest hopes, Azriel only crossed his arms against his chest, his lips tightening too. The defiant emotion swirling in his eyes contrasted the calmness of his voice before he lowered them to the table and offered her a toneless, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Truly he knew how to break a girl’s heart, didn’t he? She wouldn’t have guessed in a lifetime. _But,_ Elain reminded herself _, I must have wounded him too. He wouldn’t act like this otherwise...would he?_

Maybe it was a cracked ego more than hurt feelings. The more he looked at her like he did, the more unsure Elain got.

 _Just a little more patience_.

She sighed and glanced over her shoulder to give herself some time in order to keep her emotions in check.

Noticing the curious eyes on them, including those of a frowning Mor and an uncomfortable-looking Cassian, she turned to the male and gripped the back of the chair in front of her, hoping no one couldn’t listen in on this painful conversation. She’d be damned if she spoke about the possibility of having sex with Lucien in this room, with all its listening ears. “Az, can we talk in private? I really need to address a few things.”

Azriel averted his eyes from her. His cheeks tainted red when he offered, voice quiet, “You don’t have to explain anything to me, I got the message alright.” He paused and seemed to push out the next words. “I would prefer if we pretended the past week didn’t happen at all.”

Elain’s mouth threatened to fall open. It wasn’t that he wished to forget that damned Friday, but he wanted to erase how he’d asked her out, the little moments of closeness they shared with all of their conversations, her teasing and his clever responses. Perhaps even the little game they played.

To hear this hurt more than the female would have liked. She must have _really_ started caring for him on another level if he managed to nick her heart like this.

She let down what was left of her guard and stepped closer, trying to catch his eyes. “I promise all of this mess is going to feel pretty stupid once you just listen to me, Azriel.”

“There’s no need,” the male uttered. “I already feel like a damned fool.”

Elain’s shoulders slumped. “That’s not fair.”

Azriel, who had been in the process of straightening his glasses, halted in the movement. The way he tightened his jaw even more made Elain think the muscle would pop any minute. She’d hit a nerve.

Instead of giving her an insight to his hurt, the male pushed his chair back in a single move and came to his feet, grabbing the empty cup of coffee on the table. He strode to the coffee machine, leaving Elain standing by herself without having responded.

Elain only allowed a second to pass for the lump in her throat to be gulped down, until she followed him, gathering all her determination and some edge. Frustration mixed with all the other emotions. He was making this harder than needed and it would have been a lie to say her pride didn’t protest.

If he would just allow himself to feel, and talk to her about it, they would be forced to speak about all of this. But he evaded her like wisps of shadows. She’d never met anyone who had such control over his emotions.

“You can’t keep ignoring what I have to say and walk away from me,” she hissed quietly as she reached the male while he busied himself making a new pot of the bitter goodness. “Why won’t you hear me out? This is all just a stupid mi–”

One of the teachers tapped on her shoulder, making Elain break off abruptly. She hadn’t even noticed the woman coming up and was apparently blocking off the doorway to the restroom.

The woman looked impressively sorry to have interrupted the one-sided discussion. Elain moved to the side with heated cheeks, realizing they were making a debacle in front of everyone. A glance around the room confirmed many nosy eyes that were quickly averted once met with her embarrassed features.

Elain gulped, chose to turn her back to them and looked up at Azriel. Trying to focus only on him, while he did his best to ignore her.

 _Alright, one last try_.

Her eyes fell to the coffee pouring from the machine into the pot. “You know, you still have a favor to return. We could have coffee after work and talk this out,” she asked of him, hoping her complacent tone would help turn the tide over.

Elain watched as Azriel frowned, saw his eyes moving to her as if out of their own will. He seemed to be unsure about her offer, the lines of his face softening for the span of a moment as his eyes roved over her features without meeting her eyes. She didn’t want to but her heart still hoped he’d say yes.

Then, he stared at the cup of coffee in his hands again and his face fell slightly. Clearly, he remembered things she’d rather have him forget.

Elain was still watching when he started turning the cup in his hands, and it dawned on her that he contemplated to repay his debt right here, right now to end their sweet little game by simply offering her the coffee in his hands. She knew he was thinking about it, just knew. Maybe it was stupid, but it was the last blow she’d take.

She took a step back, involuntarily, and stared up at him. “Don’t you _dare_ give me that cup of coffee.”

Azriel heaved a sigh and, after a second, put the cup away, rubbing his temples and looking worse than before.

Elain fought against the urge to let the tears of anger and hurt slide down her cheeks but found they were intent on showing themselves. She wouldn’t break through to Azriel right now. And she didn’t feel like staying here either.

“Well,” she pressed, shouldering her bag tighter, “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”

She didn’t give him room to reply but hurried into the hall full of kids enjoying their break. Elain found an empty classroom and let her emotions flow down her cheeks. Only later she realized that her lunch was skipped once more.

***

Azriel felt the eyes of too many on his back as he followed the biology teacher after a moment’s hesitation when she left with elegant yet wounded pride straightening her spine. Her features had tightened enough for him to feel bad instantly.

He didn’t know if it had been drop-dead stupid for him to contemplate giving her his coffee, knowing what it meant if he did: the end of their little game and all that was light between them. He was feeling like such an asshole despite being the lovesick fool in this.

His first instinct was to follow and make sure Elain was alright.

But his head though was cautious. It remembered all too well the times Azriel was left to pick up his pieces after having his heart broken because he’d let himself give in and fall for the wrong ones again and again. He’d swore for his own sake to never love someone who wouldn’t love him back. Not after his father, who had broken his heart a million times. Not after Mor, whom he had pined so stupidly after.

And yet he was walking after her. And yet, he wanted to make her okay. And yet, and yet.

He stood there for a moment, outside the room she’d disappeared in, considering whether he should open the door.

His hand was still hovering over the handle when a group of teachers turned the corner and walked into the hallway. Ms. Archeron, the English teacher, was among them, eyeing him with such a disdainful look, that he averted his eyes quickly.

Did she know about him? Did she know about what had happened with Elain? He saw the answer in her disgust with him.

Az let his hand sink and walked past his colleagues until he reached a spot where he leaned against the wall and watched them walk on. Nesta didn’t deign to turn and look at him, the others probably hadn’t even noticed him to begin with.

His heart squeezed inside his chest when he remembered that no one had quite seen him the way Elain did. From the very beginning, she was the one to actually notice and talk to him. This might be no big deal for some, but to him it was extraordinary.

People underestimated the force of a shy, quiet human being, one who couldn’t small talk for the life of him. In reality and at some point, his self-consciousness evoked an insecurity of confidence of those who tried to talk to him, tried to communicate. They would feel like he was being difficult and give up because it didn’t serve them well to work so hard for someone’s affections.

Sometimes, his closed off nature even irritated others until they felt like he was internally judging them. They didn’t trust him because his quiet nature made them uncomfortable after some time even though Az didn’t mean it. He was just no easy converser. And well, it was difficult for him to trust too.

Elain was one of the few to find his demeanor interesting. She was one of the absolute rare ones to stick by and not give up offering her friendship until he felt comfortable enough to give it back.

The ones who had stayed like that were his closest friends now. His chosen family. Those were rare. Elain was rare.

And still, she had chosen Lucien, he reminded himself.

She continued to choose Lucien, it seemed, for when Cassian told Az about the female and her desperation to find him, Az had given up on riding through the streets with his bike during lunch or spending time alone in a café down the street to just...brood. He’d unwound from his pain to…he didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he would have shown himself, in the very least. Whatever Elain had done, however bad she’d hurt him, it just didn’t feel right to make her pass up her breaks just to find and talk to him.

Then he had seen her with Lucien again, and the pain flooded his senses, giving him a strong as hell déjà vu. Az felt like the most idiotic person to exist to come back to her while she was smiling at the male she had chosen and the kiss-ass stood too close for his liking, staring at the female like he would do something as disgusting as getting down on his knees in a second.

Az had disappeared the very moment, taking it as a sign of the universe that he shouldn’t, really shouldn’t, talk to Elain. He knew she had a way of charming everyone around her senseless, and he was an exception to the rule. Elain charmed him right out of his body.

That’s why he stood there again, in the hallway, contemplating if it would make him the most pathetic and stupid person alive to fight for her, or at least allow her to stay in his heart.

The decision wasn’t made yet, when suddenly the same door he’d been staring at opened and Elain walked out. Her spine was still straight, her shoulders thrown back, looking so much stronger than minutes ago.

She didn’t see him as she started walking in the other direction.

The way she held her head high, told him that she would get over whatever was paining her about him. She would be fine again.

But would he?

He sighed, rubbed his eye beneath his glasses and turned, walking down the opposite side of the corridor, heart in tow.

***

This entire mess with Azriel was making Elain miserable.

It would have cared her less, if she hadn’t already started really liking the male so dearly. If she hadn’t glimpsed a heart worth savoring.

That she might have broken the same heart she would have liked to touch – as much as it had been a misunderstanding – didn’t make this any easier. It made her feel bad, like she had jinxed something she would have thoroughly enjoyed. After all, it was her who hadn’t been entirely honest with the male who was so cool to her now.

And Azriel…she thought he must be hurt, but his indifference surely seemed honest to her. He was confusing her enough that she thought all of her feelings were one-sided. As if he had already erased her memory and was doing his best to keep her away.

If only he would trust her again. If only he would give her the chance to explain herself. He had no right to block her off, did he? Especially since she hadn’t done what he assumed she did to hurt him. Ever since her encounter with him in the breakroom, there was a frustrated, low fire growing in her gut.

All of this still on her mind, Elain pushed through the entry door and began walking towards the parking lot after she finished her last class for today.

Students were passing her, gathering in groups and making plans for the coming weekend. Laughter was shared and, for a moment, the female returned to the time she’d spent in high school – carefree, until her mother passed away. That time had been the roughest in her life. All three Archeron sisters bonded as close as it was possible for three unique souls. 

That anger from earlier rose in her when she realized she’d spent days being sad over Azriel. Life was too short to waste away over misunderstandings and silly crushes. Life was too precious to hide away your heart. 

As if the universe had listened in on that thought and decided to honor her a chance, Elain’s gaze focused and landed on a tall, dark-haired figure, who was straightening his satchel bag across his back and prepared to sit on his bike. 

Her feet started taking their steps faster; that Archeron temper prickled under her skin. 

Azriel noticed the female too late and only when she was right in his face, perhaps a little too close for comfort. But Elain was far from caring. Instead, she narrowed her eyes and bored her finger into his chest.

“You have no right to make me feel like this. Do you hear me? No. Right.”

Azriel couldn’t hide the expression of pure shock washing over his face. He retreated a step reflexively – only to be followed by the fierce woman. His eyes darted from her to the groups of students on the school yard. His cheeks slowly tinted red.

“Ms. Archeron–” 

“Oh no,” Elain cut him off, hands coming to rest on her hips. “Don’t ‘Ms. Archeron’ me.”

He sighed, rubbing the place where she stabbed him with her finger. His pupils were blown wide as he looked down at her, standing so close.

“ _Elain_ ,” he emphasized her name with a tight expression, not adding anything else like his tone did the talking.

Maybe it did. But Elain wouldn’t have given him the chance to speak if he wanted. 

“ _Days_ I’ve spent looking for you,” she started, nudging her finger into his chest again. “I didn’t have lunch so I’d get the chance to talk to you. I’ve barely spoken to _anyone_. Do you understand what that means for me? But you just…disappeared. You’re not going to get lost on me this time, not when I have some things to say.”

Her eyes didn’t stray from his and – surprisingly – he met her stare behind his black rimmed glasses, defiantly. 

“I thought you were confused and hurt,” Elain continued, “but you’re acting like an ass at this point, not giving me the chance to explain myself. You’re being unfair and it’s making me miserable! _And_ you have no right to make me feel like this.”

She must have gotten to him again, because his jaw tightened.

This time, at least, he voiced in disbelief, “ _I’m_ being unfair?”

Elain didn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, you _are_. You’re acting like I don’t even exist to you, like we’ve never been friends or agreed to go on a date we both know we’ve been excited for.”

She paused and took a breath. Calming some of that agitation in her voice that made it seem shaky, she finally lowered her hand. “You’re breaking my heart, Azriel, and you don’t even care.”

Azriel stared at her, brows drawn like he didn’t understand, with emotions whirling in his eyes. He seemed to want to fight them, but his hold loosened as the words tumbled from his lips.

“You really think I don’t care?” he began, voice deep and low. “What about you breaking _my_ heart when you – while you…” He faltered, upset, and swallowed. “Do you think it was easy for me to see you with Vanserra when I thought we were going to…?” he stopped again and exhaled through his nose. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation right now.”

Az seemed so lost again, so affected, that the fire in Elain’s gut receded a little. He was still holding back though, she could feel it in the way he bit down on his lip, his cheeks hot. His body seemed to be wired taut.

With a start, Elain realized that it was all she needed to see: him _feeling_. To know he still cared whether he might act like it or not. So, she urged him, knowing they wouldn’t be able to get over this unless he allowed himself to talk about it.

“Come on, Azriel. Talk to me.”

Although his voice didn’t raise, the emotions broke out of him like a champagne bottle popping open. Mostly, she could see them in his oh-so expressive eyes.

“What do you want me to say?” Those hazels flashed. “Do you want to hear how miserable _I_ have been since Friday? How my heart has been broken too? I feel like a goddamn _fool_ for allowing myself to believe we could ever be more than friends. After month over month of never being brave enough to take a chance with you, you just – you chose Vanserra when I finally made a move. And I haven’t even seen it coming because you made me believe you cared for me too. I’m not confused. I am _devastated_.”

That last word echoed in her ears as Elain speechlessly stared up at Az.

Az, the male who acted as cold as iron but turned out be brimming with emotions when he allowed you to see.

He might have acted like he was being indifferent to her this whole time, yet in moments like these, when his eyes screamed a language she had yet to fully learn, and his words – his entire demeanor – finally broke its calm, Elain realized he was all but indifferent.

He was a thunderstorm of emotions.

Azriel cared. And he’d never stopped caring. From the way he was still looking at her, she knew in her heart that he was truly hurt. Distraught, even, more than she ever thought. It seemed like her heart was sparked back to life.

 _Month over month_ , he’d said, _month over month of never being brave enough_.

Did he feel for her like he did for that long?

Elain was still void of any response, recognizing his words, his pain and her pride that had kept her blind to the way his heart beat in a longing for more, when Az reeled back into himself.

“Let’s put this to rest, okay?” he murmured, removing his eyes from her at last and making to turn away. “Let’s forget this ever happened.”

Elain sucked in a breath. _Let’s put us to rest_ , is what he meant as he walked away. _Let’s forget us_.

She couldn’t stand the thought for a second, not after seeing his eyes and feelings still there. Elain refused for this nonsense to pull them apart. Her hands balled to fists.

“No,” she decided firmly. “ _No_.”

Azriel halted, coming to a stop.

“You’re wrong, Azriel. I haven’t chosen Lucien. We didn’t…I haven’t been with him.”

His shoulders stiffened in response, his face falling. “What?”

Frustration rushed up her throat and her face heated. She moved forward with one thumping step.

“I didn’t sleep with him, you idiot!”

There it was. _Finally_.

Azriel’s expression was blank first, confused second, and horrified when the possibility dawned that he might have been wrong the entire time. Despite the noises crowding them, silence rippled.

Until–

Everything moved too fast, too suddenly.

The squeaking of wheels on concrete to her right accompanied by a stifled cry of alarm tore into the scenery – and an unexpected weight crashed into Elain, throwing the female from her feet.

Her consciousness was lost to darkness as soon as her head collided with the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you trust me if I said y'all are safe after this chapter?  
> Angst is our yesterday, FLUFF IS OUR TOMORROW.
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter xx


	9. Chapter 9

_I didn’t sleep with him, you idiot!_

That sentence hit Azriel like a blow to the head. It wasn’t at all what he expected.

For that reason alone, he didn’t understand right away. Yet the more Elain’s words, her frustration and her insistence on talking to him for days sunk in, the more it dawned on Az – the possibility that he might have been wrong the entire time, and in that case, truly the biggest idiot to exist.

But the pieces of the puzzle hadn’t sat tight yet when he watched unfold what must have been one of the worst moments of his entire life. He couldn’t do a single thing about it when Elain’s body was knocked over by a careless student who crashed into the female with his goddamn moped.

Although the boy hadn’t gained much speed to begin with – they were still on school grounds after all, he wasn’t even allowed to drive here – and managed to steer the vehicle in the very last minute so that he didn’t hit her full-on, Elain was still thrown off her feet onto concrete, instinctively bracing the fall with her left arm. Nevertheless, her momentum forced her head to collide with the ground, the blow knocking her out instantly.

The math teacher’s muscles tensed when he lunged for help – notwithstanding he wasn’t even close enough to touch him anyway – as the boy started losing control of his moped. Due to his low speed and luck most of all, the teenager caught himself in time. He couldn’t have gotten a single scratch.

Whereas Elain was lying on the ground, motionless.

Azriel’s heart as well as the entire universe seemed to stop in those few seconds like a scene in a movie. When he came back to life, he dropped everything on him, his bike toppling over, and rushed to Elain’s side.

The horror and fear he felt for her was smothering.

Her eyes were closed, and she was lying on her left arm jammed beneath her body. Az leaned over the female, scanning her features. His fingers moved to her cheek out of instinct, softly brushing her skin. Her name was an endless chant in his head though no word left his mouth, because his breath seemed to be stuck in his lungs.

He vowed to thank every higher might of the universe later when she groaned, and her eyes fluttered open.

***

It seemed like just a second had gone by when Elain opened her eyes, confused and utterly clueless why she was suddenly laying sprawled on the ground with her head throbbing.

Her view was blurry then, but when her eyes focused, she was met with Azriel’s pale expression hovering just above her face. 

“Shit, Elain. Are you okay?” 

Hands were touching her body, moving hair from her brow and contacting with a spot on her head that had her wince and groan. Azriel cursed again. 

Elain began noticing her surroundings the more she came to and wondered how long she’d actually been knocked off – and most importantly, _why_.

All she remembered was Azriel and his heartfelt words.

 _I am devastated_.

She probably wouldn’t forget that for the rest of her life. Elain recalled finally saying the words she’d been dying to say, and everything went black after that.

“What happened?” she found herself croaking.

Instead of answering, Azriel disappeared from view. Instinctively, the female attempted to lift off the ground, wanting to get to her feet too. Using her left arm that was already jammed beneath her body to do so must have been a pretty stupid idea, because pain shot up her shoulder instantly. She couldn’t even lift an inch until it hurt.

“Hey,” Azriel returned with his satchel in his hand and gently held her down. Carefully helping her onto her back, the pressure was off her arm and shoulder. Despite his widened eyes and the worry lining his features, Azriel’s voice was as calm as ever. Brushing his fingers against her cheek in a reassuring touch, Az made sure to hold her eyes. “You’re going to be fine, alright El? Don’t move.”

As he started to rummage for something in his satchel, Elain thought she might be nodding, for her head started throbbing more. _Don’t move._

Opening her eyes against the sunlight – had it always been this bright? – proved to be difficult. So she waited for her eyes to adjust and glanced to place her surroundings then. When she noticed a group of students gathering around her, it became clear some accident must have occurred – with her being the protagonist in the unfolding drama. The next painful sound coming out of her mouth had nothing to do with her throbbing head.

It brought back Azriel into view though – his beautiful face tight with concern and brows furrowed.

“Azriel, what happened?” she attempted once more, noting how he wasn’t answering her.

The male touched her again, almost as if he was unable to stop himself, his hand cupping the side of her head lightly. His eyes darted to the place he’d brushed upon, and he immediately tossed his satchel to the side, hastily unbuttoning his shirt. Though feeling quite dizzy, her eyes widened as she watched him undress.

“You were knocked over by a moped,” the male pressed as he tore through the flannel and started to gently wrap a large portion of it around her head, securing it over her brow. Elain wanted to ask what the hell he meant when Az put pressure on the spot that must have been sore, and she hissed instead. Fear raced up her spine as she realized there must be lots of bleeding involved in this accident when he had to bandage her head.

He looked down at her, sorry to the core. “I have to do this, El. I promise it’s going to get better.”

Elain didn’t move nor nod, closing her eyes against the nausea. Her head didn’t hurt as much as she was sickened by the thought of blood and the excessive loss of it. She mumbled Azriel’s name, still having her eyes closed. He leaned in.

“How much blood?”

The sprinkles of gold in his hazel eyes were prominent against the forest green backdrop. His cedar scent rose through her nostrils and somehow calmed a little of her anxiety. She was surprised to be able to feel him like this – even now, run over on the school yard with probably half her head split open.

Az, who had her face cradled between his palms as he held the clothe to soak in the blood, eyed her head, moving her hair yet again out of her brow. She felt some of the pressure lessen when he took a look at her injury beneath his torn shirt. His features relaxed when he realized, “It looks worse than it actually is.”

His eyes returned to her own. The set of his features were still tight, yet his eyes were soft when he reassured her. “It’s okay. There’s not much blood. You’re going to be fine.”

She was going to be fine. No need to be scared.

Her heart calmed, noticing it had mostly been the shock of the moment causing her distress rather than any pain. In fact, she didn’t feel much pain to her head. Her elbow stung and her arm probably hurt from bracing the fall but other than that, no unbearable pain. The nausea also receded.

“I’m going to be okay,” she repeated, exhaling. Seeing that she was feeling better, Azriel turned his head, expression hardening once he laid his eyes on the figure that Elain now noticed stood to her feet with his helmet clutched under his arm.

It was one of Azriel’s students, Steven, and he looked awfully pale.

“Mr. Benson,” Az voiced, his tone controlled. “Are you hurt?”

The boy didn’t even hesitate as he shook his head wordlessly, tightening the hold on his helmet.

Azriel’s next words sounded dangerously low, even to Elain’s ears. “I hope you’re aware that your recklessness will have serious consequences.”

The boy’s face turned a sickly shade of green at this. “I-I swear it was an accident, Mr. Asker,” he stuttered, “I didn’t s-see her standing there.”

Azriel’s jaw tightened and Elain knew from the way his eyes flashed that he was fighting to reign the anger within. From this angle, Elain noticed how he still seemed pale as if he’d seen a ghost.

Before he ran out of patience, she jumped in, her voice not as strong as she’d wished it to be. “It’s okay,” she reassured both while reaching blindly with her uninjured arm to pat Azriel’s hand with hers. Her neck hurt in the process, but she ignored it.

“He clearly didn’t mean to hurt me. You really are okay, aren’t you Steven?” she inquired. After all, they were teachers and responsible for every student. She didn’t fail to notice that despite Azriel’s obvious anger towards the boy, he’d made sure the kid was alright first.

Steven nodded again. At least the boy was unscathed. 

Az glanced down at her again then, expression unmoving yet his eyes a slowly softening hazel force against the bronze of his naturally tanned skin. With utmost care he brushed her hair, still applying pressure to the wound on her head. Another wave of dizziness swept over Elain. She wasn’t sure, if it was for his flawless face, the feeling with which he beheld her or her injury itself. She closed her eyes nevertheless and endured the nausea.

By then, a few minutes had passed and the young crowd around them grew. One of them, a young woman brave enough to kneel right beside the two teachers while her peers kept at a distance, caught her attention. Isha, one of her former freshmen, beheld the biology teacher with concern in her features.

“Ms. Archeron! Are you okay?” She threw the long end of her headscarf around her neck and leaned closer, trying to get a glimpse of her arm. The girl volunteered at the local hospital, shadowing a nurse during weekends as far as Elain knew.

“Isha dear, I’m fine, it’s nothing,” the biology teacher assured.

The girl didn’t hesitate when inspecting her head, Azriel just leaned back and let her examine. Isha looked up at him after seconds. “Do you want me to call 911? I think she needs a doctor.”

Dread entered Elain’s stomach thinking about being inside an ambulance again after so many years. Cold sweat gathered low on her spine. “No. No ambulance, please.”

Both of them looked down at her, making her realize she was still lying on the ground like a helpless maiden. She made to straighten but was instantly stopped by her friend.

“Easy. You shouldn’t move.”

“Don’t call the ambulance,” Elain pleaded, focusing on Az. “I’m fine.”

Maybe he saw the fear in her eyes, for he nodded after a moment of hesitation.

“Isha,” he spoke without averting his gaze from Elain. “Get Madja.”

Isha only nodded and immediately ran back to the school building. Azriel urged the rest of the crowd – but the boy, Steven – to go home or return to their respective afternoon classes. Elain could have kissed him for it.

“Who is Madja?” she found herself asking instead when calm settled around them. It was weird at best how she was laying on the ground, a bandage around her head, most certainly bleeding underneath it, and still think of this moment as calm.

“You don’t know Madja?” Azriel wondered, tightening the wrapping around her head. Elain stifled a grimace. “She’s the school nurse and an old friend of mine.”

Elain pictured a beauty equivalent to Mor. “For someone as reserved as you, you have an awful lot of lady friends.”

This made him release an unexpected snort. His tone was light – eager to distract her – when he teased, “Jealous, Archeron?”

Elain frowned. “No.” The lie slipped easily from her lips.

Azriel glanced down at her and quirked his lips. “You’ll like her.”

Elain was sure she would like the woman if Azriel liked her – all the friends of his she’d met, she had taken a liking to so far. But the female wasn’t so sure she _wanted_ to like Madja.

The thought fled and left a tinge of embarrassment in her chest when a couple minutes later a woman with elegant but wrinkled features and dark blonde to whitened hair appeared next to her. She was a beauty indeed, but probably twice as old as Az. The male knowingly caught Elain’s eyes.

“Lay her head on the ground,” Madja greeted them, already focused on Elain and the wrapping around her head. “Be careful, boy.”

Azriel, who’d slipped his satchel beneath her head for support, cautiously eased his hand under her, hands tangling in honey-golden hair, to follow Madja’s instructions. Both of them were leaning over the biology teacher.

“Hey,” Elain voiced a little shakily, catching their attention. “You must be Madja.”

For the first time, Madja glanced into her face – that professional concentration making way for soft features. “That’s right. How are you feeling, Miss?”

“Please call me Elain,” the female offered. “I think I would have felt worse if my head kept bleeding. I’m lucky Azriel was here.”

“Ah,” Madja replied with a soft smile as she returned to inspecting her head. She gently unwrapped Azriel’s torn shirt and threw the owner a knowing look. “You have always been a life saver, haven’t you boy?”

Elain watched in surprise as Azriel ducked his head, his cheeks painting pink. “Focus, Madja.”

When Madja chuckled, Elain knew these two shared somewhat of a past. The ease finding its way into Azriel’s posture and the casual teasing showcased they had been acquainted a long time ago, bound by a connection somehow. The motherly feeling in Madja’s eyes almost made it seem like she had known him in his youth.

While the nurse worked in silence – bandaging Elain’s head with clean gauze, still applying pressure to the wound and supporting her neck with a broad, white collar – Elain tried not to think about her head bleeding, or the remnants of the accident on the school yard. She would have to keep her eyes closed to avoid that image whenever she managed to get to her feet.

At least most of the students had gone their ways after Azriel’s strict request. Only Steven and Isha remained – the former looking stricken, even scared with each worried glance thrown at his math teacher, while the latter assisted Madja. The nurse finally turned to Elain’s arm.

A few worrisome minutes later the older woman declared, “It’s not broken.”

It was as if a weight lifted off Elain’s chest. Her shoulder hurt from the fall and her elbow still burned where the skin had been scraped off but otherwise, she wasn’t in any imminent danger.

At least that’s what she thought until Madja added, turning to Az, “She needs to get stitches in the hospital. Take her there and they’ll do the rest.”

Elain’s eyes widened as she slowly lifted into a sitting position, the neck brace making it a little harder to move. For a moment, her head spun, and she would have fallen right back – dropping onto the concrete like a damn stone – if it weren’t for Azriel’s large hand warm on her spine. He didn’t even realize he had possibly saved her from another concussion, as his was just an instinct to steady her.

“The hospital?” Elain tried not to shriek. “I thought I was fine.”

The professional focus on Madja’s face again gave way to sympathy. “You are fine unless your head stays uncleaned and vulnerable to infection. Are you scared of needles?”

More like, the entire hospital. But the teacher shrugged without giving herself away more than she already had. Pain shot up her left shoulder with the movement, but she stifled the urge to grimace. “Can’t you do that, Madja?”

She must have truly sounded pitiful, for even the nurse leaned in and brushed a hand over her hair like that of an infant. A hand that had probably done lots of stitching, used needles and various other stuff where blood was involved.

“I don’t have the right utensils and I’m not a doctor. You need the hospital, my child.” To Az she turned and squeezed his arm, “Take her to the hospital and stay until her family arrives, Anwar. Make sure she doesn’t fall asleep in the car.”

Azriel nodded dutifully, his hand still steady on her back. Momentarily, Elain was distracted by the name Madja used for him – Anwar? – before she caught up with the fact she truly was to be taken to the hospital. Her heart rate kicked up and the nausea returned.

She had little to say though, as Madja quickly checked Steven for any injuries too, just in case, and made her way back into the school building with Isha after figuring he was fine but for a severe case of being scared shitless of the consequences to his behavior. As far as Elain was concerned, the shock written in his face was enough of a consequence, but she also knew she tended to avoid punishing her students even if she shouldn’t.

The boy seemed to try in earnest to dissolve into thin air by pure will until Azriel finally turned his attention towards him. He pointed at the kid, then at his own bike, thrown to the side of the scenery.

“Get my bike and follow us,” he ordered him.

To Elain, Azriel added, softer, “I need the keys to your car.”

Elain nodded and looked for her bag, finding it somewhere to her left. Reaching for it, she grabbed the keys from within and allowed him to help her to her feet. He carried most of her weight with his arm around her waist.

Elain squeezed her eyes closed against the onslaught of nausea and a wave of dizziness, sharpening as she stood.

“I don’t think I can walk,” she managed.

Without hesitating, Az put his arms beneath knees and shoulders – mindful of her injured arm – and carefully lifted her up, carrying her weight to the car without trouble, followed by a moping high school student. Although his proximity was unfamiliar, it wasn’t strange to be so close to him and it calmed some of the anxiety coming from her impending visit to the hospital. Elain tried not to dwell on the last time she’d been there – which was on the day her mother died.

Azriel sat her on the passenger’s seat and rounded the car, loading his bike into the trunk. She saw him talking to the boy then, quickly. A stern expression lingered on his face though the female couldn’t make out the words.

Steven barely looked away from the ground to his feet and, finally, nodded. She relaxed when Azriel gave the kid a reluctant clap on the shoulder – he must have pitied the boy too, after all – and quickly met her in the driver’s seat.

Without thinking, he reached for her chin and turned her head to check upon the compress. Elain hoped he could see no blood but refused to ask because, actually, she didn’t want to know.

When Az cranked the engine and backed out of the parking lot, she asked, “He’s not going to be expelled, is he? It was just an accident.”

Az threw her a glance – doubtful of her labeling what happened with _just an accident_ – but sighed anyway.

“He’s a troublemaker to his core, and as much as I would have him never come close this building again, I know you wouldn’t like it. I told him he’s to meet me in the principal’s office tomorrow and I’ll let Rhys decide what to do with him. I’ll make sure he won’t be expelled.”

Elain was relieved to hear the boy wouldn’t be expelled because of her. Her traitorous heart though was even happier about Az caring for her in a way that made him consider her wishes before she got to voice them. She trusted him to make sure the boy wouldn’t be punished too hard.

Thanking him quietly, she cradled her injured arm closer to her upper body, her thoughts returning to the nurse.

“You were right by the way,” the female remarked softly, “I like Madja.”

Az’s mouth quirked up. “I knew you would,” he mumbled. “She’s great.”

Elain noticed he was driving over the speed limit und throwing glances her way every few seconds although he seemed calm otherwise. She realized he must still be worrying about her to some extent even though his features didn’t show any of his urgency. Her stomach knotted. She kind of wished he’d drive slower so they wouldn’t reach the hospital faster than necessary.

Leaning the unscathed side of her head against the window – the thing around her throat made it irritatingly hard for her to find a comfortable spot – she turned towards him. “She called you _Anwar_ , didn’t she?”

Straightening his glasses, Azriel nodded. “It’s my middle name.”

Elain considered it. “It sounds lovely. What does it mean?”

The male bit his lip, glancing at her shortly. Elain found it quite adorable how he seemed to blush when he realized she was unabashedly eyeing him from her side of the car. Relaxing further into the passenger’s seat and finally finding a position that was comfortable, she smiled, despite everything, in contentment.

It was as if the last half an hour had released every pent-up emotion of fear, anger, regret and sadness. She was so calm now. Wasn’t it weird?

Not weird enough for her eyes to fall closed when a blanket of exhaustion draped over her. She quickly opened them wide, hoping Az hadn’t seen her being sleepy.

“Thank you. It’s supposed to mean _the luminous_ or _the_ _enlightened one_ , I think,” he explained.

“Aw,” Elain straightened now, her lips stretching into a bright smile when she remembered how Madja also called him _life saver_. “Now that’s beautiful. It suits you, Az.”

He looked at her like her head had gotten a stronger hit than he’d initially thought, and she was being especially weird. That might be just it. In the end, she’d survived a freaking crash.

Sighing, Elain leaned into her seat again and watched as they passed by cars. “How did you meet Madja?” she found herself asking because she’d wondered from the very minute it seemed like they knew each other.

Azriel was quiet for a while, focusing on the road.

“Madja and my mother were nurses in the same hospital when I was a kid; they were friends,” he began. “I used to go there after school to do my homework and she always teased me about the way I wore my hair.”

This perked Elain up. She eyed him and his silken hair. “How _did_ you wear it?”

He seemed to bite back a grin. “I was a nerd and too lazy to get it cut, so I let it grow until my mom needed to take matters into her own hands. I refused to go to a hairdresser so I ended up looking like a hedgehog all through elementary school _and_ had to wear glasses. Needless to say, I was infinitely popular with the girls.”

Elain giggled. She couldn’t picture him any other way than drop-dead gorgeous. Either way, she would have loved to meet little Az, with his crazy hair and nerd-glasses.

“When my mom was on shift, I spent my evenings with Madja until she returned rather than being at home or staying with my…biological father. They’d arranged their shifts so that I never needed to stay with him.”

He smiled in remembrance of what his mother and Madja had done for him, yet Elain couldn’t help but sadden in his place. Clearly, he didn’t have a healthy relationship to his father. It must have been a sensitive spot for him, yet he still told her about it. It meant something that he opened up. Even more so after the last few days.

“Madja loves you like a son, that much is clear,” Elain mumbled and reached to squeeze his hand without thinking about it. Surprisingly, he caught her fingers and held onto them. Their eyes met for a moment.

After a second’s hesitation she gently clasped his hand too, pulling it on her lap. Leaning her head against the window again, she turned her face to hide the surge of emotion in her features.

They kept silent for minutes, hand in hand, and she must have closed her eyes without realizing, for Azriel spoke her name and warned her not to fall asleep.

“Talk to me,” he requested.

 _Talk to me_. Hadn’t she asked him the same only half an hour ago? Their argument felt like a million years away. She wasn’t even angry with him anymore. It was like the accident had wiped it all away – not from her mind but her heart.

“Did you say the truth?” she asked, softly. “What you’ve told me about not being brave enough to ask me out…Was it the truth?”

He didn’t quite meet her eyes and she felt him tense through the contact of their linked hands.

“Yes,” he confessed.

Silence.

She lowered her eyes to their clasped fingers and brushed a thumb over his knuckles. “I wish you had just said so sooner.”

Elain didn’t look up but heard him exhale. “Me too.”

Shortly after, they reached the hospital.

Elain held onto his hand so hard his fingers must have turned blue. She didn’t even know her fear had come to this size. She’d developed an aversion after her mother died, yes, and hadn’t needed to visit a hospital in the years after that, thank God.

Only because Azriel assured he wouldn’t leave her side, she clung to him and let him carry her inside at last.

By the time she was seated on that awful sterile seat in the awfully sterile hospital room, waiting for the doctor to finish cleaning the excess blood all over her hair and wound she tried very hard not to think about, the adrenaline had lost its effect on her. All she wanted to do was lay down and nap.

That’s until the doctor declared he would need to shave off a small patch of her head to be able to numb and stitch the wound closed.

Again, Azriel’s hand was assaulted by her own, without the poor male making a single sound of protest. His other steadying hand was, again, warm on the low of her back, silently providing her strength.

Elain knew why Madja called him life saver with his quiet, enduring strength that he easily transferred to her. She pictured energy flowing from his hands into her being.

That’s why she gritted her teeth and pushed through the shaving – which surprisingly _hurt_ – while keeping both her hands clasped tight around Azriel’s as the doctor numbed the spot and started stitching.

Despite her concerns, she didn’t feel the needle going in and out. The thought alone was enough to make her sick though, so she turned her eyes to Azriel, and he immediately understood the paleness of her features. He started talking to her, trying to distract, and offered his other hand to hold on to. They pushed through the treatment together.

When her wound was stitched closed and a clean bandage was wrapped around her head – she must look awful – a nurse came in. To Elain’s horror, she had to stay in the hospital for a while longer until her body regenerated her weakened immune system. Although she protested, the nurse was strict as she injected a needle into the tender skin of the inside of her arm and attached a bag of clear fluid to it.

She pouted until Azriel cracked a grin and hid it behind his hand. Then, she decided to suck it up and at least enjoy his company as long as she could – even if they were in a hospital.

He hadn’t left her side for the past two hours, not once.

Az had held her hand, talked to her and calmed her. He’d brushed her hair from her face, scrutinized Doc as he shaved part of her head and stitched the wound, as if he knew _exactly_ what the professional should be doing, and he wasn’t trusting him enough with Elain. All of this combined, the grand and small details, were the biggest proof that he cared for her, one way or another. Elain got all fuzzy in her stomach when she let this sink in.

She already missed him, and he hadn’t even been gone for a minute, finally agreeing to leave her alone in order to relieve himself in the restroom. When he returned, he sat into the chair he’d pushed as close as possible to the bed she was propped upon. He brushed her thumb with his, casually and as if it was the most common thing to do.

She wondered what it was that had removed this barrier between them, because it seemed like they couldn’t stand not touching each other anymore when two years had gone by with them being coworkers including boundaries. Even a simple brush of the tip of his finger warmed her now.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, scanning her face.

Elain rolled her eyes and smiled. No one had asked her this same question as often as Azriel had in the past half an hour she was sitting on this bed.

“I’m as fine as I was two minutes ago, Az. Stop worrying.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, smiling apologizingly. “I tend to overdo when I’m worried.”

Elain nudged his hand with her index finger – it was just naturally laying close to her own on the bedside – and grinned. “Actually, I’m enjoying this.”

She sobered, her smile toning down to something soft and delicate. “Thank you for being here. I couldn’t have done this on my own, you know.”

Azriel scratched his neck, not meeting her eyes. “Don’t thank me. It’s the least I could do after what I put you through this past week.”

He paused and the moment seemed to load with something else – a heavier kind of energy, when both remembered their fight from earlier.

Azriel seemed to choose his words, so Elain patiently waited for him to continue, feeling that the conversation they needed to be having since days eventually knocked on the door.

Finally, he said, “I’m so fucking sorry, Elain.”

The female, surprised to hear him curse again in such a short period of time while his manners had been impeccable for the entirety of two years, looked up and met his hazel eyes. The sincere sorry in them made her gulp.

“When I saw you with…” He cleared his throat and tried again. “My heart broke when I thought you had chosen him. I didn’t want to hear you say it, because despite what I thought I’ve seen, I still wanted there to be a chance for us. But I know I should have given you the opportunity to explain yourself – regardless of whom you chose.”

He exhaled and Elain’s own heart cracked when she heard the shakiness in his voice.

“I never had the right to make you miserable nor did I ever intend to. I thought…I didn’t know you’d feel as bad as I was feeling. I can’t apologize enough for that.”

He looked up, brows scrunched. The male seemed to gather all his courage when he straightened his glass and spoke with strengthened voice, “I just want you to know that I won’t be blaming you, whatever or whoever it is you want. I would rather you be happy with someone else than be miserable because of me.” He exhaled. “Though I would really love to be the one making you happy. I’d understand if you never want to talk to me again after today.”

He put his heart out, just like that.

Elain hadn’t heard him talk this many words at once, much less make himself as vulnerable as he had. She couldn’t help but take his hand between her own, hospital, needles and blood entirely forgotten. He seemed wary as he met her eyes, yet a tinge of hope trickled through the forest of hazel and golden light.

Elain also had a few things to get off her chest.

“God, I really wanted to resent you for ignoring me, for even accusing me of what you thought I did.” She huffed out a laugh. “I wanted to hate you, a little at least, but I couldn’t.” She watched his eyes practically swim in regret.

“Your hurt is valid, Az. Not because what you thought of me is true but because I know it must have looked incredibly worse than it actually was. You must have been thinking I played you.” Elain cringed. Similar to Azriel, her emotions also remained stuck in her throat and tied into a knot. She made sure to look him in the eyes though, wanting him to believe without an ounce of doubt.

“But I didn’t, I swear. Yes, I spent time with Lucien when I visited one of his plays at school, but that’s all about it. Nothing ever happened. Nothing. I didn’t want anything to happen because…” She blushed. “Well, I’ve been thinking about you the entire time I’ve been with him.”

Azriel’s eyes widened, his own cheeks heating. “You were?” he croaked.

“Um, yes,” she chuckled nervously. “I’ve been dying to tell you this since the moment you’ve seen us together. You see, I really wanted to go on this date with you.”

Elain sighed; free, because finally she had been able to shed the stone sitting on her chest for _days_.

Az eyed her, then his hand in hers, and grimaced. “I’m such an idiot.”

“It was a misunderstanding at first but all that has happened after was pretty idiotic, yes.” She cracked a smile to soften her words. His eyes focused on her lips, almost like he didn’t believe she was still teasing him.

He was so much more than what she’d assumed, wasn’t at all that guy whose brain overruled everything else. He was as much heart as he was head. Her pride had been in the way in the beginning, but she saw it now. Elain couldn’t help but remember his words from earlier too; the expression on his face had made her heart squeeze tightly.

“You said you were devastated.” She swallowed as he averted his eyes. “I…I didn’t know either. Breaking your heart was the last thing I ever wanted to do, Az. I hope you know I’m sorry too. Very much.”

They stared at each other in silence, his expressive eyes telling her just how much he understood. Both reeling from the fact they’d been on the same page from the start, yet somehow her pride and his prejudices had kept them blind.

Az cracked a smile, looking more alive than the a few hours ago. “This is so stupid, isn’t it? So stupid and unbelievable.”

“The biggest regret of my life,” Elain agreed and let out a laugh.

Azriel laced their fingers together, squeezing, his face made of soft lines. Elain memorized the color of his eyes in the meantime.

“What now?” he asked, hoarse.

Elain’s lips formed a small smile. “It depends on whether you can forgive me or not.”

He snorted like she was being absurd. “There’s nothing to forgive, Elain. But do you think you can forgive _me_?” he asked in return.

The decision had been made long ago, sometime between him looking so incredibly pale and worried after her accident, carrying her into the hospital and holding her hand while her head was partially shaved.

“I’ll forgive you under one condition,” she declared.

He bit his lip nervously. “Yeah?”

“You owe me one hell of a first date, Asker.”

Azriel let out a surprised, throaty laugh – one Elain didn’t think she’d ever heard and was pretty sure she loved now. To play the surge of adoration down, she barreled on.

“I want you to court me, slowly. I want to enjoy every single moment of hesitation and uncertainty, every small touch and the excitement – all of it, like old times. I want to anticipate every moment with you that is to come, knowing you’ll be mine soon enough.”

A sweet as honey love story worth for the books, worth to be told her grandchildren one day. That’s what she was describing, what she had been hoping for since the beginnings of time.

Azriel chuckled again, lowly. He didn’t seem surprised. “You’ve given this quite some thought, haven’t you?”

“Every girl dreams of her own love story from time to time.” She shrugged, grinning.

He just looked at her, amused and happy, lips quirked to a half smile that had her heart beating faster than a needle in her skin or grey-white hospital rooms. When he started stroking her hand with his thumb and ignited fire to her chest, she changed her mind altogether.

“You know what?” Her voice sounded a little unstable, eyes dropping to his lips. “Forget everything I said. I don’t need you to hesitate. We can just go ahead and start this romance.”

His presence was messing with her confidence – either completely ruining it or making it rocket sky-high. She didn’t even regret those words when Azriel grasped their meaning. Because his eyes darkened and wandered down her face to her lips. After a moment of hesitation, he actually inched closer, eyes never leaving her and his fingers wounding around her hand tighter.

Elain’s heart beat right to her throat when she leaned in too, not quite believing she was seeing his face from up close like this.

How had her day turned from shitty to absolutely terrifying to this degree of awesome?

Before the distance between them was closed though, and she’d had the opportunity to have a taste, his focus slid from her lips. Elegantly, he brought her hand to his mouth like he’d planned from the beginning and pressed a lingering kiss to her knuckles. Like old times. What. A. Tease.

She loved it.

“I think I like the idea of going slow,” he said, raspy voice sliding over her skin and leaving gooseflesh in its wake. “I’d hate for the anticipation to be taken away from our story.”

A shiver raked down her spine; the female swallowed.

“Are you sure about that?” She dared to lean close enough for his breath to caress her cheek. A hand came loose to graze the side of his face with the tips of her fingers, wandering down to his jaw line. “Haven’t we been waiting long enough?”

His eyes were burning into hers and Elain thought he might break in a second – all in spite of his iron will – if it weren’t for the commotion and the familiar voices coming from the corridor outside of her hospital room, making them freeze and come apart abruptly. Both had recognized the voices.

Elain glared at Azriel, forcing the flames to recede her bones while trying to catch her breath at the same time. Seeing her state, one would believe they kissed passionately. All he’d done was look at her with heat in his eyes and flirt using that…that great, throaty voice of his.

Unfair. This was unfair and very surprising to say the least. At least his face was flushed too.

Again, voices were heard from behind the door.

“Did you call my sisters?” Elain whispered incredulously, glancing at the door and dreading the moment they would come in.

Azriel cleared his throat, collecting his senses. “Uh…yes? Shouldn’t I have?”

“They’re going to make an ordeal out of this.” Elain groaned, hating the loss of a magical moment and the fuss that was sure to follow in the wake of her sisters.

The male scratched his neck, back to his natural consideration. At least this way he wasn’t as dangerous as…whatever earlier meant.

Maybe it was better they were going slow. With the heat she’d seen in his eyes and the speeches he’d given today, Elain thought there might be a volcano hiding beneath Azriel’s shy and cute exterior.

The voices got louder. Az squeezed the hand he was still holding to catch her eyes.

“Promise you’re not leaving me alone with them,” Elain urged and gave him a side-eyed look of mock exasperation.

He grinned, amused once more. “You have my word, fair lady.”

That cocky little smartass was lucky she wanted to kiss him so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD YOU FLUFF WAS ON THE WAY. 😍😍😍  
> Feel free to let me know about EVERYTHING you think. This might be one of my favorite chapters yet, so I would absolutely love to hear about your thoughts/feelings.
> 
> I'm also letting you know that uni life starts for me soon so I won't be able to write as much. I contemplated splitting this extra long chapter up so I would have more time, but decided against it for your sake. 💙 In case I might not be able to deliver the next two or three chapters we've left (WUT) on time, please excuse any possible delays and know I'm doing my best to give you my best! 
> 
> Thanks for all the love xx


	10. Chapter 10

“You must be kidding me.”

Azriel looked up, startled. “Excuse me?”

Elain ignored him, staring at the square piece of paper in her hands. The words written there, again in that swift handwriting, rather irritated her.

“He must know he stands no chance,” she mumbled almost accusingly.

Azriel straightened in his seat, trying to catch her eyes. “Earth to Elain. Care to enlighten me?”

The female finally lifted her eyes from the words. “I got another love note.”

His brows rose, his eyes following hers and glancing at the paper. “Another?”

Elain nodded. She’d received the third note last week and one more just a few days ago – both Pride and Prejudice quotes that made little sense to her.

While the relatively short letter that she found in her notepad last week – _Till this moment I never knew myself_ – only made to confuse her, the fourth had left Elain’s brain mush with irritation.

_There was too much to be thought, and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects._

That she was suddenly getting so many notes in the matter of days was flattering maybe, but truly inconvenient now that she was dating another male. It seemed like Lucien had changed his pattern and even tried harder by leaving her so many notes at once. Elain was uncomfortable even bringing it up to Az, wondering whether it would wound him that the other male didn’t stop leaving these sweet offerings. Howsoever he managed to sneak them into her belongings.

Nevertheless, Elain especially hadn’t anticipated a fifth note after the drama teacher saw the two of them a few days ago, Elain and Azriel, hand in hand when they thought they were alone.

Lucien couldn’t have misread the look in her eyes, so in awe with the dark-haired male, nor the grin on Azriel’s lips as he teased her.

He’d been nothing but polite, but Elain certainly saw the news of them registering. She felt bad, to be honest. She’d never meant for him to find out by chance, but it was her fault the conversation they needed to be having had been stalled by none other than her. Elain knew how important it was to let him know he ought to not hope for more of her.

With the female keeping her polite distance and Lucien spotting her with Az a few days ago, she’d dared to think that perhaps, there was no need for an uncomfortable conversation anymore. She didn’t want to turn down someone who was so sweet to write her love notes. But her heart laid with Azriel, so what could she even do against it?

The irony wasn’t lost on her as she frowned down at the note, she’d gotten from the red-haired male even after their awkward encounter of three.

“You think it’s Lucien,” Azriel observed from his seat across the table, voice void of any judgement.

Elain looked up, meeting his handsome face with her worried expression.

“I mean, it makes sense.” She reasoned, reluctantly, while furrowing her brows. “He asked me out a few weeks ago. But he saw us the other day so I figured he would have given up.”

Azriel rose one brow and nodded to the note in her hand, his face carefully wiped free of emotion. “Doesn’t seem like he’s giving up any time soon.”

But … that was that. While Az returned to work, Elain frowned deeper, staring at the piece of paper like she could make it disappear by pure will.

To her surprise, Az chuckled quietly a minute into her violent staring.

“You look far too distressed over a simple love note.”

Elain turned her eyes on him and noted, once more, the ease of his shoulders, the nearly lazy stance of his body as he worked on his next class, the pen in his hand carefully gliding over the paper. Nothing indicated irritation with love notes or determined males sending them to one’s girlfriend.

Her head cocked to the side as she watched those scarred fingers write carefully on paper, a nagging feeling in the back of her mind.

Then, she realized he didn’t seem to share her current concerns _at all_.

Her worry morphed into skepticism as she crossed her arms across her chest and eyed him warily. “Aren’t you the least bit concerned I got yet another love note?”

He looked up, surprised. “Is there reason for me to be worried?”

“Of course not,” Elain quickly amended, blushing. “I mean, I think they’re too sweet to throw away, but you don’t need to worry about me responding to them whatsoever. Just…” She shrugged one shoulder, giving him a quick smile. “I think I’d be quite jealous if I were in your place, that’s all.”

Az glanced at her with gleaming eyes, seemingly tucking that information of her jealousy – which was providing him with a smug kind of male satisfaction – away and held her gaze.

“I already made that mistake once with you. I’m not going to do it again,” he said, winking. “Trust me.”

And that was all it took for Elain’s insides to melt.

How could anyone be such a shy nerd and end up being so confident at the same time?

Az was so very male yet considerable and sweet at once. All she wanted to do was go over to him, throw her arms around his middle and kiss the hell out of him until they both fainted.

But that’s not what they were supposed to do. She stifled a long, weary sigh.

10 days and 3 official dates later, Azriel still hadn’t done her the curtesy of kissing her stupid.

He’d given plenty of cheek kisses, some on her forehead, her temple and he was especially fond of kissing the back of her hand, the tease – but no kiss on the lips. She was thirsting after it, knowing how wanton that made her feel. Except she had been the genius to suggest going slow to begin with.

“That’s very…reasonable of you,” she muttered and successfully sounded only slightly as grumbly as she felt thinking about their lack of lip touching. Azriel shot her a shrewd grin like he could hear her very thoughts.

It wasn’t like they didn’t have moments when he seemed about to break his patience made of iron. She’d almost gotten to him in the hospital and later, he’d wanted to kiss her on their first date. But something always seemed to come between them.

So, Az even more so geared up in his patience and stubbornness. She didn’t even know what he was waiting for exactly. The only thing that was clear though was that Azriel turned out to be a tease, a soul touched by wit and mischief, one hell of a dose of stubbornness and an unexpected bright fire.

He was so…alive beneath the layer of calm and quiet, all the shyness that was as much his nature as it was reserved for strangers. Elain wanted to taste the person who combined all of this so badly.

All she’d left to do now was cursing her own stupidity for the thousandth time though and focus back on work – or rather the note in her hands. Trouble replaced longing.

A few seconds into poring over the words had her nibbling her lip and thinking about how best to proceed about it when she was distracted by Azriel’s sigh. Her eyes followed his tall frame as he stood and walked around the desk, his steps the only sounds in the forgotten breakroom they decided to own up for themselves more than a week ago.

“What does it say?” he asked as he came up from behind, leaning over her on the table with his hands and caging her in his arms in the process. “Can you read it to me?”

The female tried not to show the surprise she felt when he nestled his chin on her shoulder, and she felt his body heat behind her. This was a lot of contact for someone who refused to acknowledge her lips with his kiss. How needy she would be to lean back and enjoy every moment they touched.

Elain did just that.

“Because you can’t read anything but numbers?” she teased and almost fell over in unconsciousness when he bit – _bit_ – the skin of her neck in retaliation.

“Funny, smartass.”

Whichever plans he was producing in that clever mind of his, however slow he wanted to _court_ her, Elain was totally up for the one with the most body contact and the accompanying tantalizing anticipation. Her cells were throwing a party right about now.

She wanted to turn and curl into him, but he nudged her jaw with his chin, reminding her that he stood there for a reason.

Elain sighed, a mockingly exasperated sound, and started reading.

She must have broken off in the middle of her sentence because Az – who’d just _casually_ touched his lips to her neck like it wasn’t a big deal – leaned back a little, asking innocently why she’d stopped. Instead of crying out _why did_ you _stop?_ and baring her neck to him, she cleared her throat and started over.

“ _You taught me to hope_ ,” she read, “ _as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before._ ”

Azriel only hummed, chin still nestled on her shoulder, kind of nuzzling his face into her neck and making her breath hitch. Elain tried to move as little as she could so he wouldn’t retreat as she pulled out her phone and typed the words into Google.

He wouldn’t make her try to steal a kiss from him again. She had _pride_ , Elain thought, leaning into his warmth even more.

She had pride most of the time.

Azriel’s head lifted from its place on her shoulder as he peered down at her phone, curious.

“This is how you’ve been looking the quotes up?” he wondered.

“Sure,” Elain replied, amused. “Did you assume I was carrying my copy of Pride & Prejudice everywhere I went?”

Az chuckled. “You’re the one who likes to live things like they were lived in the old times.”

Elain narrowed her eyes at him over her shoulder. “I do live in the 21st century, you nerd. Google whatever and it’s yours.”

The male only smirked and pinched her side. “So, what are you going to do about the note?” he asked, reminding Elain again that this note wasn’t just a sweet gift but actually meant something to someone. That someone being Lucien Vanserra. Elain didn’t want him to keep on hoping for something she wasn’t ready to give. Especially not after seeing what this could potentially do to someone firsthand.

“I should do something, right? I should talk to him and tell him I have a boyfriend now,” Elain thought out loud.

“You have a boyfriend?”

She realized her mistake too late. She stiffened in his arms and grimaced. Way to go and assume their relationship status before talking to him about it. Sometimes, that mouth of hers needed to be stopped running ahead of her brain.

She forced herself to loosen and turn in his arms, looking up at him through her lashes, meek.

“I mean, technically we haven’t spoken about that yet. I’m sorry if I imposed…”

Azriel cut her off, bringing his hands to both sides of her face and pecking her nose, leaving Elain forgetting her words in surprise and widened eyes that were gaping at him.

A new entry to her collection of kisses he was willingly bestowing her with. A kiss on her nose was new, and sweet enough to make her heart go marshmallow-soft.

“Relax, I was just teasing,” he said, gently. “I crossed that line after our first date.”

He shrugged, cuteness in person.

Elain only managed a, “Oh.”

She was having difficulties stopping herself from feeling overwhelming emotions for him. It wasn’t just because he was tooth-rottenly sweet in the most perfect dosage for her.

It was him knowing exactly what she wanted at all times, him seeing her in ways she never thought possible. It was them being on the same page for so long, without knowing. As if he was the puzzle that had been missing from her and they fit together perfectly.

She gulped back those emotions, furrowing her brows.

Too early, too much.

Az unwound one arm from around her waist and brought his finger over the line that had formed between her brows, smoothing over it.

Their eyes met and she swore he knew, exactly, again.

His gaze fell to her lips and started mapping their frame with his hazel orbs just as her heart started drumming against her chest.

Her hands spread flat against his stomach, feeling the hard planes of his abdomen as her frame lifted onto her toes in the same moment Azriel’s head lowered, his lips a few inches from her own.

They jumped apart when the door to the breakroom suddenly opened – and none other than Beron barged in.

As soon as the history teacher spotted the two of them, he stopped short. He didn’t miss a beat before cursing and turning on his heel to leave the room, forgoing any pretense or effort of acting like he hadn’t come here to smoke again.

Elain blushed to the roots of her hair as she watched the older male energetically close the door on them. Silence stretched in the room again.

She turned to gape at Azriel who’s cheeks had taken on a pinkish color too. The magic of their moment had burst like a bubble as soon as Beron made an appearance.

Az was staring at the door with a blank expression. “He's growing fond of us,” he declared then, dryly.

When his eyes fell back to Elain, they were gleaming with mischief. Elain couldn’t hold it in after that.

They burst out laughing at the same time.

…

_Don’t stress out too much. You can do this._

Elain smiled despite her anxiety, as she typed a reply to Azriel’s message.

_Why do I feel like you’re amusing at my expense?_

She stalled a few more minutes in the hallway, waiting for his message. The three dots popped up instantly.

_I’m not. You think I'm cruel?_

Elain grinned wildly because she loved that he teased her via text and she actually _got_ it. He didn’t even need to use emojis for it.

_I think you’re a busybody and you know it._

Before he sent a reply, she typed another text. _Any last motivational messages you have for me before I make a fool out of myself?_

He didn’t miss a beat answering. _Just remember, if I could walk around looking like muggle Harry Potter in my youth and not feel bad for a second, you can do right about anything_.

Elain actually had to stifle her laughter with a hand that flew up to cover her mouth.

_You’re such a dork. I like your hair._

_And I like your face_ , he replied, _but I also know you’re stalling, Ms. Archeron_.

He was a clever one to observe.

_The sooner you go in there, the faster you’ll be done with it._

Az was right, Elain was most certainly stalling. But she also loved talking to him, especially now that they’d discovered texting for themselves. His dry wit made perfect sense in chat. Never minding messages as _I like your face_ were the cutest random things to say that had her grinning widely.

Az was even sweeter a boyfriend than she could ever imagine, making her want to hold her phone to her chest and sigh dreamily. At this point, Elain wondered how in the hell he had been single for so long.

As she contemplated this, a door closed somewhere not so far away and made her realize she was just literally standing about in a shadowy corner, nervously laughing and swooning to herself. Before things got even weirder and someone saw her stalking here, she quickly typed a text, telling Az she was heading inside, locked the screen and pushed her phone into the front pockets of her jeans. This way, she wouldn’t be compelled to wait for his message and talk to him instead of doing what she was supposed to do.

Which was, finally confronting Lucien on the love notes and, if possible, gently making him know she didn’t reciprocate.

No pressure there.

Feeling in her left pocket for the notes, she felt a stab of sadness in her chest. They were too precious to return, truly, but she’d pocketed them anyway in case Lucien demanded them back. She thought he might have a right to.

Vowing to stay strong and to pull through with the plan, Elain made herself walk into the corridor leading directly to the little theatre of Velaris High where Lucien spent most of his time. The room she entered was relatively dark but for a single spot of light to the front. A red-haired male sat in the front seat as she slowly walked up, presumably skimming a script.

He looked up when he heard her footsteps, his brows raising in surprise when he recognized the female. Elain gave a small, awkward wave. “Hi.”

"Hey, Elain.” Lucien put the script on the seat next to him and came to his feet with an open smile. “How are you?”

Him being so nice made this even harder. “Um, thank you. I thought I'd visit you. It’s been a while since we talked,” she murmured, managing an honest smile. Lucien offered her a seat being the polite male he was. He didn’t seem to feel an inch out of place, while Elain couldn’t exactly hide her discomfort. Although it helped that he didn’t make things awkward.

“I’ve heard of your accident,” he remarked. “I’m sorry for what happened. I hope everything is all right now. Were you hurt badly?”

Elain made a dismissive gesture, smiling to herself. But for the ugly scratches on her elbow, her arm had been perfectly fine after a few days of cooling, and she would have forgotten about the injury on her head too if it weren’t for the patch of naked skin and the scar she had to care for with a special ointment.

The stitches were removed the other day – Az made Madja help with that so Elain wouldn’t need to visit a hospital again – and the process might have hurt if it weren’t for the female distracting her with cute stories of Azriel’s childhood.

He truly was a nerd. And that Harry Potter reference earlier? Totally the result of his obsession with the books. Madja exposed his devouring of comics too. Elain loved to hear about his youth so much, she forgot to be nauseated by the removing of her stitches. Azriel was as much embarrassed as he was pleased with this outcome.

Later, Elain realized the scar wasn’t as huge as she initially thought, and her hair could be arranged to hide it. Luckily, she wasn’t feeling dizzy anymore either.

She had been ordered to take a few days of rest which Rhys forced upon her by making her stay home. Then, her sisters uninvitedly took upon the task of looking after the biology teacher every day after school.

Every. Day. Whether she’d liked it or not.

To her infinite delight, Az visited too, a couple times. But with Nesta’s scrutinizing eyes on the male, he’d hardly relaxed. They’d held hands when the oldest Archeron wasn’t looking, like in some forbidden romance, and Az sneaked a kiss on her temple when he left.

Thinking about their antics now, they seemed ridiculous. She wanted to smile but that’d make her awkward in front of Lucien and she shouldn’t be thinking about Azriel now anyway.

“I’m perfectly fine. It looked worse than it actually was,” she explained, remembering Azriel’s words from the day of the accident. In hindsight, the shock of something terrible having occurred and the visit at the hospital were far worse. “How are the preparations for the upcoming show going? The final performance is supposed to be before the Christmas holidays start, right?”

Lucien smiled humbly and nodded, his eyes sparking with passion. “I’d say we’re well on schedule and ready to perform a fine play by then.”

“You should come,” he offered after a pause.

Elain smiled, hoping it didn’t resemble a cringe, and tried to understand whether he was asking her out again or simply being nice. She would like to see his students play – just not if it gave off the wrong impression.

Amusement added into Lucien’s expression when he continued, “You can bring Azriel too. I’m sure he would be thrilled to go.” He rose a brow and a playful grin showed itself on his lips. He knew damn well that he’d dropped a bomb.

An instant blush covered Elain’s cheeks. “Thanks. That’s…nice of you.”

Lucien chuckled to himself. “I hope you know I’m just teasing, Elain.”

Relief took hold of her. She smiled at him. “And here I was wondering if you were trying to start a feud.”

He laughed out loud in surprise. “I didn’t know it had come to that degree.”

“It hasn’t,” she grinned, remembering how weirdly chill Az behaved earlier. “I’m humoring you.”

Lucien shook his head in mock disappointment but couldn’t hide his smile.

For some reason, Elain felt lighter than before she came in here to talk to him. As far as she had come in her imagination, Lucien might have been cruelly wounded after seeing her with Az, knowing she was with him. She didn’t expect him to be so…light-hearted about it.

According to the note she’d gotten today, he was still hopeful. Maybe that’s why he was being so patient too. Elain didn’t know. All she knew was that Azriel wasn’t the only one she had to issue an apology towards. She’d put Lucien in an uncomfortable position. He was just very polite to not bring it up.

“Hey…” she started, thinking about how he’d been truly nothing but kind to her. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

His expression changed into something knowing with a sober touch.

Elain didn’t give herself the chance to back down but stammered ahead. “I wasn’t trying to be hurtful when you…asked me to dinner. It’s just that I didn’t expect it and I was so overwhelmed with the entire situation…and then there was Az who apparently thought that we…but we _didn’t_ …and I’m _so_ sorry you were put in that position. It’s my fault, I know and…”

“Elain,” Lucien cut her off, placing a gentle hand on her arm, for just a second before withdrawing. As if he, too, didn’t want to give off the wrong impression by touching her longer than casually. “It’s okay. I get it.”

Elain, feeling awkward again, stared at him uncertainly. “You do?”

“Sure.” He smiled. Her phone chose that moment to signal an incoming message with a buzz which she ignored, keeping her focus on the other teacher.

“But…but the afternoon we spent together and the love…”

Lucien chuckled now. “Hey. I’m not going to hold you to whatever, I promise.”

Elain averted her eyes, thinking of the notes that had kept coming anyway, hopeful for her reciprocation. “It didn’t seem like it. I really didn’t want to leave you hanging or…without a reply. You deserved me addressing it.”

Lucien rose his brows at this but smiled anyway. “You’re kind to worry about me. But I can be professional about it.” He bumped his elbow into her arm, good-naturedly. “Don’t get me wrong, it was nice to start getting to know you and I believe we could have worked together, but I’m also aware you have someone else to start _that_ path with. It’s not going to be a problem for me. We can always stay friends.”

That was…quite the generous offer, wasn’t it? He practically took all the weight off her shoulders, being so mature about something she’d wrecked her brain over one too many times.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” she asked, still doubtful and a little thrown off her course. She was prepared for awkward rejection and heartbreak, but Lucien gave her a pain-free conversation where he also did all the work. She didn’t quite know what to make of it.

Her phone went off again and according to the buzzing, two messages came in right after another this time. Elain kept ignoring it.

Lucien put on a dramatical air, placing his hand on his chest where his heart resided, sprinkling some of the sarcasm she’d already gotten a sniff of in no small measure. “My precious affection shall not be yours from now on.”

Elain blushed and bumped his arm right back for embarrassing her. “Dramatic much?” she mumbled. Secretly, his attitude relieved the hell out of her. He was very fun to be with, especially once that polite surface made way to his humor. The feeling she’d once had about the male – that he might become a good friend of hers – let itself be felt again.

Maybe they were always meant to be friends, and even though it started on a stray path – with his notes and her enthusiasm for a love story – they could always right the course and stay true. Now Elain saw that it might be easy with him.

“As the official drama teacher, I have a verified right to be dramatic. Much less to your newly acquired boyfriend.” He proceeded to mouth _intense_ and right about earned himself another bump to the arm. Lucien and Elain’s friendship was starting right off the bat, it seemed.

However still feeling weird to talk about Az with Lucien, she narrowed her eyes at him in mock annoyance. “He’s great, alright?”

Lucien shrugged, like he hadn’t expected to hear anything less from her. Elain took his remarks about Az with the grain of salt it was meant with and decided to let it pass since she owed him sympathy points for taking this all very lightly.

Maybe someday, in the very far future when things weren’t as weird between them, they could hang out together – her, Az and Lucien.

That concept blew her mind for now. Better to keep things easy in the moment.

Elain checked her watch, noticing she had a few minutes left until afternoon classes would begin and his students would file in one after another. Luckily, she was finished for today and would head home. Turning to the drama teacher, her mouth formed an earnest smile.

“I’m really glad we had this conversation, Lucien. Thank you for being so understanding.” She came to her feet. Then, she remembered the notes in her pocket. “Can I keep your notes though? I really liked them.”

Lucien stood too, his brows furrowing. Before he voiced his confusion, Elain’s phone buzzed again. The female stifled the urge to groan and finally fished it out of her pocket, apologizing to Lucien. She wondered who in the hell was so adamant to reach her.

There was one message of Azriel wishing her luck a few seconds before she walked into the theatre, one message was from Nesta who was – once more – making sure she wasn’t run over by mopeds or cars, and the other two were from Mor, who was insisting to know how her date with Az had been and whether he’d finally kissed her.

Her cheeks heated, Elain regretting for the tenth time telling Mor about the lack of lip joining. The female somehow always managed to pull the truth from her. Mostly by prying, busybodying or embarrassing her into spilling the details she desired.

However, the last incoming message was from Az again. She couldn’t help her fingers, as they ignored every other chat and quickly clicked on the one her boyfriend had written in.

Or more like, snapped – because it was a picture of himself. A selfie.

Her mouth threatened to fall open, when she spotted the black, plump cat, sprawled on his back – one paw raised and the other stretching as if to touch Azriel’s cheek. The male was leaning to snap the picture, cat in frame, and smiling.

_A rare occurrence: Baloo moving_ , the text beneath read.

Two things made Elain stare at the picture and the words, feeling her heart escalating a little:

First of all…that was a freaking selfie of Az. She must have been blessed.

His handsome features and dark hair were so perfect, she knew without a doubt she’d use this as her new home screen background and love it forever.

Secondly, a _cat_ was in the same shot as her boyfriend. Before she ultimately turned to goo, she remembered to ask herself: Whom did the cat belong to?

That’s exactly what she quickly typed and hit send before thinking better of it. The three dots indicating Az was responding appeared instantly as if he had been waiting for her response.

_This is Master Baloo. My cat who doesn’t like to move. I haven’t told you about him?_

Elain was about to type an indignant and aggressive _No?!_ until Lucien, who was still facing her, cleared his throat. “You okay? What were you saying earlier?”

The female glanced up and quickly locked the screen of her phone, already sorry she’d been carried away with this surprising new information. Azriel was the owner of a cat! Jesus Christ, could this male be any more attractive?

Her head must have been dizzied, for she didn’t exactly remember what she had been saying earlier. Before Azriel completely blindsided her with the fact he owned a freaking black cat, lazy and named _Master Baloo_.

But she was straying from her point. What was her point again?

Commotion resounded in the theatre as the door was opened and a couple students filed in. Elain glanced at them over her shoulder. The bell should be ringing at any minute.

The notes. She had been asking him about the notes. _Right_ , Elain thought and patted her left pocket. “I was asking whether you would like your notes back or if…”

Elain stopped, her words already being swallowed by the noise the bell made as it rang, announcing the start of the next period like she knew it would. According to the crease of his brow, Lucien hadn’t heard her, and his attention slid to the bigger group of teenagers entering the theatre.

He walked back to his seat and searched the pockets of his coat, fishing a small square with buttons. He pressed one, and the rest of the lighting lit up the room instantly. When he returned to her, teenagers were already gathering around the stage, walking to their respective seats.

Before he inquired again, Elain decided she would talk to him whenever he wasn’t occupied with his class and ask him about the notes then. Mentally she wasn’t in this room anyway. Her mind was still stuck on Az and Baloo.

So she bid goodbye to a mildly confused Lucien, promising to stop by again soon and made her way out of the theatre.

On her way to her car, she opened the chat with Az and typed.

_I cannot believe you have a cat named Baloo. Can I come see you now? I really must, I already love him._

Azriel answered within a few minutes. Her smiled stretched her mouth while the excitement widened her heart.

He had merely sent his address, as if Az, too, couldn’t be bothered to wait more than necessary to see her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh we're slowly coming to an end - as of now, there's only one chapter left! I'm still planning to give you more of this story (see, elriel's first date amongst other fluffiness), but the main timeline will be done soon if I don't come up with more haha. 
> 
> Anyway, what do you think of this chapter, friends? 💖 We finally have some more Elriel fluff. I would absolutely love to hear how you feel about this part!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! F i n a l l y my story is continuing just where it left off, woo!  
> Now, including this part we have 3 chapters to go for the main storyline in this fic. I'm still hoping to work on some bonus scenes, but we’ll see about that. 🙈 Thank you so much for your continued support as L.i.L. took up weeks and weeks of my effort. xx  
> 

“Bye, Ms. Archeron!” The student waved when she left the classroom as the last one to exit.

The biology teacher smiled over her shoulder from her spot cleaning the blackboard. “See you next week, Lin.”

Once finished with the task, Elain finally allowed herself to sit and relax for a minute – an exhausted sigh escaping her lips. A long day of projects way past her usual schedule and supervising her students while they worked – or pretended to – was tiring to say the least. But her efforts paid off in a successful and fun ending to her day as her students seemed to have enjoyed analyzing various plants and research them, presenting the results to their classmates afterwards. Not to mention Elain’s own excitement with the topic of their projects – plants and gardening were her passion.

Reflecting on her workday rather quickly made place to the thought of a certain male whom she couldn’t help but sneak a text to occasionally. Even now, a smile was already on its way when she grabbed her phone and unlocked the screen, seeing a text from her boyfriend who’d already left after his last period a few hours ago. Az informed the biology teacher he was on his way to pick her up.

He’d insisted to pick her up from her apartment in the morning too, despite her repeated assurance he didn’t need to do this for her. But Az continued to be adamant about it, declaring he didn’t mind picking her up from home and later from work for once. _That way_ , he’d explained shyly, _I’ll get to see you longer_. Elain pecked his cheek for it – though she really wanted to press her mouth to his – and accepted.

She checked the time on her phone and felt her smile widen. Once Az picked her up, they would head over to his apartment for a dinner date. Az had promised to cook for her. Plus, she’d get to see Baloo again. If someone decided to carve her open right in this instance, they would find excitement coating her skin and bones in a glittering golden substance.

Just the plain perspective of getting to spend quality time with her boyfriend was enough to make her grin with giddiness. Especially when she would be tasting his self-proclaimed delicious chicken soup and get to cuddle his sweet, lazy cat on the couch while feeling the male’s comforting presence next to her. Elain was unmistakably smitten with both of them. Much to the surprise of his daddy, Baloo had taken an instant liking to her too – which delighted the living hell out of Elain.

It was just yesterday she’d been talking to Lucien – the conversation was a success through and through – when Elain practically invited herself over to Azriel’s home, keen to see the male. It was also the first time in two years of knowing him, she’d gotten to see the inside of his apartment and meet his furry roomie, whom she had no idea existed until catching a glimpse of Azriel’s selfie.

Elain smiled, remembering the moment she’d stepped inside the apartment. Azriel’s arms had found and enclosed around her frame the second she walked in _._

_“Elain,” he breathed into her hair, relief and warmth carrying his voice. The scent of him – cedar and bergamot – engulfed her presence and she found herself in the humanly sweetest hug possible._

_Taken by surprise, Elain hugged him back, slowly, her brain and heart coming to the conclusion she’d never been quite hugged like this before._

_It was just a simple embrace, nothing sensual or special by any means but for the emotion that drove it and the person who was giving it so freely. The pureness of it made her want to tear up. She didn’t doubt for a second that Az had missed her. The sweet, hopeful smile on his lips when he withdrew gave her the rest._

_She carefully took the raw emotion that rose from her heart to her lips and tucked it close to her heart; somewhere safe and sound to wonder upon later. Content to just look up at him and return his smile. He ushered her inside, closing the door._

_“How did it go?” he asked then, hesitantly, as he turned to face her again._

_Suddenly his relief made perfect sense._

_The tight hug, his nervous question and him straightening his glasses as he spoke – she had come to realize that it was indeed a nervous gesture of his – told her volumes of his insecurity. As much as Azriel seemed to be fine with her connection to Lucien, he still must have been worried, a little at least, that she might change her mind about him last minute._

_“Surprisingly good,” Elain answered truthfully. “He was very nice about it. We agreed to be friends.”_

_Az relaxed while she continued eyeing him; a sly, satisfied grin plastering on her lips. “Are you going to tell me you were worried after all, Mr. Asker?”_

_“Not at all,” the male bluffed, his expression betraying not a single emotion. Except…his eyes gave him away._

_Elain reached for her phone and held it up under his nose, showing him the photo she’d already saved as her homescreen. His eyes flicked to the picture, head cocking to the side once realizing she was keeping his selfie where she would see it as often as possible._

_In fact, Elain felt the urge to stare at it_ again _, right now._

_“So, you just randomly decided to bring in the big guns?” she probed, pulling up the actual picture to zoom in on it. Even now, her heart melted at the sight of them both. “You knew you’d wrap me around your finger with this selfie, didn’t you?”_

_The sheepish grin escaping Azriel in reality had nothing to do with innocence even when he tried to sell it as such. It didn’t work, because he’d known exactly what his photo would do to her; he must have. She wasn’t immune to males posing with cute animals. This might just be her kryptonite. And Azriel sending her his selfie knowing exactly she was having a conversation with Lucien Vanserra? Elain didn’t believe in coincidences._

_“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, Ms. Archeron. It’s just a photo.”_

_Elain braced her hands on her hips but failed the stern look she’d wanted to pin him with. Instead, her own amusement peeked through._

_She couldn’t deny the satisfaction his mild jealousy caused, despite him acting so mature earlier. Elain couldn’t really fault him for going at it in such a clever way either. He hadn’t done anything she’d want him to take back._

_“You’re lucky you’re so cute, Mr. Asker. Damn lucky.”_

_His face softened, losing the mischief. Instead, he closed the gap between them and she found his arms sliding around her waist._

_“You’re right,” he admitted with a smile. “I’m the luckiest.”_

_Elain couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her as she looked up at him, swooning. She wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her fingers into his back, pushing herself closer to his chest. She hugged him the way she’d always wanted to, placing her head over his chest, and feeling incredibly close to his heart. Az brought his chin on the top of her head and embraced her frame tighter._

_She could have spent an infinity there, molten into the delicacy of the moment and his arms, could have fallen asleep in his safety…if it weren’t for the tiny meow that made her lift her head._

_A thick, night-dark cat stood a safe distance away in the threshold of the living room, glancing at the two teachers with sleepy but wary eyes, meowing again._

_Elain gasped. Master Baloo._

_“What the…” Az began voicing in incredulity as the cat padded even closer, coming to a stop to Elain’s feet and curling into a soft, black furry ball there. His huge eyes stayed on the biology teacher, softly assessing, and possibly deeming the female worthy of his attention._

_Azriel had gone still, gaping at his pet. “He moved to greet you,” he observed, in disbelief still. As if he understood, the cat eyed his daddy, blinking in the arrogant way only cats were capable of._

_“Baloo, you lousy traitor.”_

A giggle escaped the teacher when she thought about how she’d hushed her boyfriend and unwrapped her arms from him. He seemed entirely forgotten as she knelt and reached for the cat who didn’t balk one bit, only continued to stare at her with his big, curious eyes. The female had cooed and talked to him as if talking to a baby while she kissed and coddled him.

The rest of the evening was spent with her and Baloo being inseparable. Azriel had been grumpy at first and called him a spoiled bum – probably because Baloo stole all of her attention – until he decided to simply add himself to the equation. They ended up ordering pizza, cuddling on the couch, and watching a movie; Elain and Az with a sleeping Baloo in her lap, one happy family.

That night must have been one of the most wholesome nights of her life. Nothing missed, everything just…perfect.

That’s why she couldn’t await their date tonight. She’d been impatient all day with the same image of her small family. Because that’s what they were to her already.

Again, emotion ran high. Where did these intense feelings for Azriel come from? They’d been together for just over ten days and she was thinking about a family with him?

But then again, she’d admired him for so long, practically since the first time her eyes laid on him. They were friends for a while – and did one not love friends too? Azriel opening up to her slowly but steadily helped to race those feelings. He’d given her an insight to who he truly was, beneath the shy and quiet appearance.

Azriel was a compassionate teacher, a clever and witty man with mischief and a certain sense of humor that always had her grinning from ear to ear with its unexpectedness. His soul was prone to absolute kindness and a heated passion she’d yet to explore. He was a lover of books, the daddy to the cutest cat and inherited a strong heart that was the result to a hard past he’d braved early on. To her, Azriel was…a wonder. A sweet miracle sent by whoever created the universe and interwove their beings.

This wondrous male, he cared for her, that much was a given. Azriel had been devastated with the thought of losing her. And Elain…well, Elain was a goner for him. She fell head over heels, and there was no point in denying.

As simple a truth as that.

Maybe – she hoped for it dearly – he would fall for her too, with the absoluteness she’d fallen for him. She would wait and hope to feel it – for an emotion as strong as that was unavoidable once existent, something she was convinced she would feel in her heart rather than know with her head.

Until Az was there, Elain would love him with the little things; leave him coffee and sticky notes at work, kiss his cheek in secret whenever he passed her in the halls of Velaris High or let him spoon her while she cuddled his cat. She would adore him for the sake of it and hope he would meet her there, someday.

Elain had reached the point of no return early, maybe, but she wouldn’t fault herself for feeling so much for someone whom she knew in her heart deserved this love.

That’s why she smiled softly, peering at the photo of Azriel and Baloo again. Pulling up his text next, she quickly typed, _Can’t wait to see you xx_ and returned her phone to her bag.

The next minutes were spent going through the classroom, bringing order into the place, sweeping the floor from remaining stems and leaves and airing the room. She was just about to clear out, walking back to her desk to grab her coat and bag, when steps resounded from the hall – coming to a stop on the other side of the closed door.

Elain halted, waiting for whoever to knock or come in, thinking one of her students must have forgotten something. None of her expectations proved true nor did anyone enter the room at all. Instead she heard a strange scraping at the door.

Then, a square piece of folded paper was slipped beneath the doorframe.

Elain stood there for a second, staring at it without processing. The very next moment she found her legs eating up the distance to the door in order to reach the note.

The teacher didn’t need to unfold it, the words written on top – _To Elain_ – made clear enough what this was. She didn’t think but acted then, quickly opening the door and stepping outside to catch the male who’d just left her another love note.

She looked left and right in the empty corridor and – by luck – caught the person just rounding the corner, glimpsing the grey fabric of a hoodie before he evaded her sight.

Her heart picking up pace within her chest, Elain began to follow the person who was the only one in sight, therefore qualifying as the sole person to leave the note. Confusion stirred her mind. She’d just talked to Lucien about this, so why continue leaving more notes? Why tell her they could be friends but do the exact opposite the next day?

_Except_ , Elain thought, a new kind of sensation climbing up her spine, a slow realization, an unraveling, _except, he’s never been the secret admirer_.

As she turned the same corner as the other, her heart was beating to the roof of her mouth. Two teachers crossed her way, blocking the view and momentarily succeeding in irritating her senses. She rounded them, ignoring their weird glances, and walked faster, just in time to see the tall, clearly male person; hood thrown over his head as he disappeared behind the next corner.

This wasn’t Lucien, Elain realized with a start that shot through her like a shock wave. The drama teacher wasn’t as tall or broad as this male.

While moving faster though refraining from running, Elain wracked her brain, trying to examine every conversation with Lucien she could remember after the love notes had started. She’d been so sure it was him. And he’d confessed to it, hadn’t he? The more she thought about it, the sooner uncertainty replaced her conception. He’d never clearly admitted into writing the notes and she’d never directly asked him. She’d referred to the notes however, thinking he would understand either way. Apparently, he hadn’t known what she was talking about all along.

Holy Heaven. Elain picked up her pace.

As soon as the Archeron reached the corner, she heard a door close, stepping into the dead-end corridor a second too late to see which door the male had disappeared behind.

It didn’t matter though, because there were just two, leading to classrooms positioned opposite from each other. Behind one of them, the secret admirer was hiding.

Not allowing herself to think too much on it, Elain walked up to the left and tried the door. It was locked. Which left…She turned to the right, eyeing the other door, slowly walking toward it. Her heart was beating furiously now, and doubt made her hesitate, hand on the handle.

Someone – and she’d been totally wrong about the male’s identity – had been leaving love notes for weeks, going out of his way to hide them in her belongings. Whoever he was, she finally got the chance to confront him. Right now, in this instant. It wasn’t just curiosity though, making her open the door, but a certain foreboding urging to look and _see_.

With this strong feeling in her gut, Elain opened the door and stepped inside the room.

The first thing she saw was light.

Not a blinding and bright kind but candles, lit on every possible surface of the classroom, _everywhere_ , creating a fairy-tale-like atmosphere.

Her eyes caught on rose petals, tender and fragile, scattered on the floor and over the tables that had been pushed out of the way so there was a path leading directly to…her secret admirer.

He was standing on the other end of a path of petals, his back turned to her. Standing so close now, Elain’s heart knew him before her head did, before he turned around and pushed the hood back from his face – revealing raven black hair and deep hazel eyes.

She gasped nevertheless, hand reaching up for her heart. She could only breathe his name.

“ _Azriel?_ ”

***

Three hours earlier, Azriel finished putting the last candle at its predetermined place atop the teacher’s desk. His eyes swiped over the familiar room; over the unlit candles and the scattered rose petals, checking for any inconsistencies in his plan. Because all of this was planned, of course. Everything needed to be perfect.

He was so unbelievably anxious already.

“And…finished!” Mor exclaimed from the other side of the room, flinging the last of the petals with a dramatic gesture, letting red rain down on herself. She was extraordinarily buoyant today, grinning at Azriel when their eyes met. He was too nervous to roll them at her.

“Oh, come on, Azzy. Don’t look so worried. This is a great day!”

She sauntered over to where he stood while he distracted himself, adjusting one of the candles beneath his fingers an inch to the right. It didn’t feel right, so he inched it back to the left and sighed.

“Is this a good idea, Mor? Isn’t it a little too soon for…” He let his eyes wander around the room again and let the meaning sink in. “For _all_ of this?

Mor pursed her lips, assessing him wordlessly while she crossed her arms against her chest. “Are you going to chicken out, Azriel?” The Spanish teacher narrowed her eyes. “This was your idea to begin with.”

“I know,” Azriel amended, scratching his neck. “But what if it’s too much? We’ve been dating for 11 days. I don’t want to scare her away.”

He’d been feeling self-conscious ever since waking up today, knowing what he was going to do. Was this the right way to go about his feelings, their relationship? He didn’t want to ruin what they had but going slow was becoming harder and harder each day, and he couldn’t pretend he wasn’t absolutely enthralled by this female he got to call his girlfriend.

Mor grinned salaciously, purring, “Come on. Don’t act like she’s not totally smitten with you.”

Azriel blushed at this. “It’s not the same.”

“Why not?” the female challenged. “Look, if you’re going to be in love with her, then do it properly. Be with it. If you pull something like the I-don’t-date-colleagues card again, I might just beat you up.”

He focused on the words that didn’t want to make him blush harder, furrowing his brows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mor gave him a look, raising her brows like it was obvious. “You know, that one time she asked if you were dating me, basically telling you she’s interested, and you totally blocked her off. You lied about not dating colleagues when I know you can’t care about that. She’s been thinking you weren’t interested this entire time and here you are, acting like Elain’s not the one crushing on you since day one. It’s not the same my ass.”

Azriel was stunned into silence, taken off guard. He stared at the blonde. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, I hate to say I told you, but I told you.” Mor checked her nails, sass coating her tone.

She let her arms drop when he didn’t answer and took a step closer to him. A certain look entered her eyes that let Az know she wouldn’t tease him next. He knew her for too long to not recognize this expression that was severe than her usual cheerfulness.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Mor began. “I get that you don’t want to scare her away. And I know that’s what you think might happen, what your mind fears.” She tapped her own temple, emphasizing her words. Her hand reached down to cover the place above her heart next. “But what does your heart say? Does this feel right to you?”

Az hesitated, nibbling on his lip. He didn’t need to search long for the answer. It was simply there. “It does.”

Mor smiled. “Good. Because there are times you’ve got to listen to your head, times you depend on what you know up there to lead the way. But in other instances, it will stand in your way. Like it does now. You’ve got to know when to listen to your heart instead, no matter how insecure the outcome may seem.” She grinned at him knowingly. If Azriel didn’t know better, he’d even say she was proud of him when she continued. “A month ago, you decided to risk it – in the most risk-free of ways, perhaps – but it was a risk nevertheless and look what it brought you! You can risk it again now. Act with your heart and it will lead you true, Az.”

Act with his heart? He looked around, at all that he’d planned and prepared to risk for Elain. He’d been acting with his heart the entire time, wanting to go a step further with her, hoping she would meet him there. And Mor was right, this felt good, it felt _true_. It was time for him to risk it again.

Deciding once more what was already decided and focusing on his feelings for Elain instead of his fears, Az turned to Mor and gave a small smile of gratefulness. Not many people on this planet had friends passionate for a happiness that wasn’t their own.

“I’m so goddamned nervous.”

The solemn expression departed Mor’s face, letting the cheerfulness return. The Spanish teacher let out a ringing laughter of excitement. “My friend, you are simply magnífico!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very welcome, as always. <3


	12. Chapter 12

Often, surprise had an effect of drawing every word from Elain’s vocabulary. She would find herself immobile, glued to the spot; a deer caught in headlights.

Seeing Azriel standing in between all the candles and rose petals was one thing. The fresh bouquet of red roses in his hands another. Knowing she’d followed him here, thinking he was responsible for every sweet love note she’d received – while she literally fell in love with him on another thread of their story, _despite_ the notes if you willed – was entirely different.

Elain was so shocked she was on pause.

Plus, she was confused. So very confused.

“Elain,” Azriel responded by simply saying her name. With it, a tender nervousness carried through the room. She heard hope lingering there too.

“What…” The female had difficulty stringing words together. “What is this? Have you done all of it?” She glanced around the room, taking in all the flickering candles drawing shades on the walls and the rose petals carefully strewn about. Although she was shocked, she couldn’t help but notice the devastating romance behind the gesture.

Azriel smiled, meek. “I’ve got to give Mor some of the credit; she’s helped me decorate.” After a moment’s hesitation, he added quietly, “Do you like it?”

“I… _yes_. It’s…beautiful.” She met his eyes over the expanse of the room and exhaled once. “I’m sorry, I’m just so surprised. I wasn’t expecting this at all.”

Azriel scratched a spot beneath his eye, a telltale for those who knew him. “I was hoping you’d like it…and the note.”

His eyes slid to her hands in which she still clasped onto the letter; he bit his lip nervously.

Elain followed his eyes to the folded piece of paper she’d forgotten about as soon as her eye caught onto the candlelit room and seen Azriel stand here, so unexpectedly. She was aware of it and its amplified meaning now.

“You…you wrote the love notes? All of them?” she finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper. When she looked up at him, Az blushed and avoided her eyes, hesitating. But the truth already laid here, in this room, bared open. It was in the delicacy of the rose petals, in the flickering of the little flames. In the jump of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed dryly and the hazel turmoil in his eyes as they flitted over her face.

“Would you be disappointed if I said yes?”

Her first instinct was to tell him that she didn’t know. Discerning her feelings was harder when her mind was still blown. Her mind didn’t seem to be able to wrap around it yet.

Weeks had gone by; weeks she’d spent growing closer to the math teacher while wondering over _his_ love notes and not even knowing.

She’d been torn between her admiration for him and for whoever was sweet enough to gift her meaningful Pride and Prejudice quotes – when they’d been the same person all along. That first instinct of hers had been right this entire time, one that had been quenched by insecurity and his response at the time. While that part of her triumphed _I knew it!_ – the other was still shocked.

It made sense, Elain supposed, that she fell for Azriel as much as she’d care for his notes deep inside. She hadn’t been only beyond capable of throwing them away, but pored over them almost every night, wondering. Az had touched her heart in more ways than she’d known.

Ultimately, the strings of fate coming together, he’d always been the one she was looking for. It made perfect sense.

Elain croaked to answer. “I don’t think I’m disappointed.”

Azriel held his breath. While he hadn’t been able to glance at her in earnest earlier, his eyes refused to leave her gaze now.

“Have you read it?” he asked, voice hoarse.

Elain shook her head and glanced at the paper – wanting to unfold it. Azriel stepping forward stopped her, her eyes instantly on him again.

“I would like to say a few things before you do. Explain, if that’s okay.”

Elain nodded this time, still too astounded for words.

He placed the bouquet of roses on a desk nearby, straightening his glasses. He seemed to fumble for words, gripping his neck. “I’m not very good at this, so please bear with me because I really want you to know what I have to say.”

Elain nodded again, glancing at the roses, the candles, and petals, then the note. He didn’t seem to realize he was right about perfect at this, whatever it was.

Finally, he exhaled and began.

“When I wrote that first note, I wasn’t intending on giving it to you, ever.” He hesitated, drawing a scarred hand through his hair. “It’s basically a confession and in honesty, I was scared shitless to open up to you when we were barely on talking terms. You considered me a coworker, a friend from work at best, and I wasn’t ready to indicate it was much more for me. So, I wrote it, I brought it to school for a couple days, and I never gave it to you. That was a month before you got the first note.”

He paused again, gauging her reaction. She was quite inept to deliver one as with every word of his, every breath of hers was stolen. Az closed his eyes, deeming it best to simply carry on.

“Precisely because I knew I could never just open up to you, I couldn’t help thinking about the note I had written, all the time, wondering what would happen if I just let you have it. Every time I saw you, I thought of it. One day, I don’t even know why, I tucked the note in my pocket and brought it to work. I saw you on the school yard and you looked so fucking beautiful that I gravitated towards you even though I know I shouldn’t. But like a magnet, you always seem to pull me in. You hadn’t noticed me then so I challenged myself. I thought if you looked at me – smiled at me – I would give you the note. If you simply noticed me, I would give you the note and deal with the consequences.”

Azriel grimaced and Elain’s heart skipped a beat. She was hanging on his every precious word.

“You looked at me and you smiled brighter than I’d ever seen and I…I still didn’t have the balls to pull through. I spent that night awake in my bed, realizing I would regret it infinitely more if I didn’t try. I knew I would keep poring over the what-ifs. I would regret missing the chance to express how I felt for this wonderful girl that smiled at someone she barely knew just to make his day. I wanted you to know what you did to me, I wanted to give back for every smile you charmed on my face.”

Az let out a laugh that wasn’t much different than a hoarse noise in the back of his throat, breaking Elain’s heart with the intensity of feeling that was stuck there. If she hadn’t been already on the verge of crying, she would have been there, hearing him like this.

“I spent half of the night writing those few lines, added my initials and erased them. In the end, I was barely brave enough to leave it for you while you were completely unaware. But I did it and I have never been so scared to be rejected, Elain.” He glanced at her, cheeks flushed with color and eyes sparkling in candlelight behind the frames of his glasses. He bestowed her a crooked grin.

“You can surely imagine my distress when I spent that horrible lunch break listening to you puzzle over that damned note. I wanted to be anywhere but there.” Az laughed again, shaking his head. “Mor figured it out of course. I was already planning to leave the States when Cassian butted in, thinking she was taunting me for the sake of it. He lied for me without realizing I, in fact, was the one to write the note. I have a feeling Nesta figured it out instantly too. My God, it was awful. I was sure I’d never even consider writing a second note after that day.”

Elain gave a teary laugh at this. Azriel perked up, hearing the sound. He softened with his next words.

“But then, you started talking to me more. You were always so curious. You smiled at me every chance you got, and I thought…I thought maybe you were _hoping_ , despite my stupid denial, that I was the one who wrote it. You cared for the note. I saw that you _liked_ it. I couldn’t believe you hadn’t figured out it was me and that you didn’t think it stupid, so I wrote a second one just for that reason. And when you invited me to your place and let me see your home, when you made a dash to retrieve your indecent clothing,” – he grinned unabashedly –, “and you blushed and remembered all those details about me, I just…I slipped the second note into the pocket of your coat when I excused myself to the bathroom.”

Elain gasped, remembering that day and his rather hasty departure. As if reading her thoughts, Azriel shrugged, cringing.

“I bailed after that and most of the next day too. I couldn’t have you see my face. You would have figured it out right away and I wasn’t ready to be confronted yet. I made up that doctor’s appointment by the way.”

While he smiled sheepishly Elain couldn’t quite believe the lengths he’d gone for her. But Azriel’s expression darkened.

“The more I tried with you only to withdraw again, the more you began assuming Vanserra wrote the notes. When you started talking to him, I knew it was just my luck. While trying to win over the girl of my dreams, I would be the only idiot capable of bringing her together with another guy. At some point, it felt like I was _competing_ against my own notes, my own doing.”

Azriel looked up and caught her eyes, taking a step in her direction. A sense of wonder settled into his gaze, his lips twitching.

“In spite of everything you believed about the notes or Lucien, you still talked to _me_ , you smiled at _me_ and you returned _my_ favors. Your eyes searched mine whenever you entered a room, you blushed when you saw me, you touched me, and you cared for me when you thought I was ill. You continued spending your lunch breaks with my presence as the only company. You probed me to open up about my life. You teased me to make me smile.”

The way Azriel was looking at her now, Elain imagined that must be how she looked at him. Like stars were caught in their eyes.

“For the first time I saw the signs and I realized I didn’t need the notes. I just needed to take matters into my own hands. I could always confess about the notes later, but I wanted to have you want me without them and for the first time I thought I might stand a chance. When I asked you out and saw the excitement on your face, it was the first step to what I wanted with you. It was my own stupidity coming between us after that.”

He exhaled, twinkling eyes still set on her face. On her cheeks, wet with tears. Elain wondered if he could hear her heart falling even more in love with him, because the sound as it beat was deafening to her ears.

Azriel took the steps separating them until she was forced to tilt her head up.

“Even though I failed you,” he began again, voice low, “you gave me a chance. You were still looking at me like you were as much in wonder as I was. And I am so in awe of you, Elain. I found a kindred soul in you, and I can’t fathom how your heart might beat for me too, sometimes. I needed you to know what you really mean to me.”

Silence settled when Azriel’s last words faded away with his sigh of relief. He must feel like a weight had been taken from him.

Elain managed to stifle the urge to cry for simply a second.

“You’re not good at this _my ass_ ,” she sobbed the next, hand flying up to cover her mouth and the embarrassing noises she made crying.

Azriel’s brows furrowed, his fingers gliding over her cheek, hand cupping her face. “Oh no. Have I broken you?”

It was such an innocently hilarious and pure question that her sob mixed with a burst of laughter. She probably sounded like she was choking.

“Something like that.”

He gave her a minute, his thumb wiping away the tears slipping free. Elain sniffed when she was finally able to see him again clearly rather than through the curtain of blur.

“You’ve done so much for me, and I didn’t even have a clue. I always believed I cared for you more than you cared for me,” she mumbled, hands coming to rest on his chest. When Az spoke, it felt like the sound made its way up his lungs, right under her palms. Like she was helping him shape his words some way.

“I know you did, and I’m aware I like to keep my feelings sealed shut inside. But I learned that I like to share – if it’s with you. I didn’t want to wait to share this. It was all worth it, Elain. You’ve rewarded me thousandfold with your grace and affection. You still do.”

Her eyes teared up again, but she wiped her fingers under them quickly. Elain did not care to miss any second of this moment; she would find a way to etch it into the wrinkles of her brain. “Azriel, I…” she started confessing because _Heaven_ , there was no way she could keep her love secret after _this_.

“Don’t,” Az cut in softly. Her eyes flew up to his. “I’m not finished,” he amended with a small smile.

One of his hands enclosed around her left one, squeezing, then gently prying her fingers open to reveal the note she was still clinging to. Much to her chagrin, it was crinkled like she’d been holding on for dear life.

Az didn’t touch it, though he seemed to encourage her to read it. Elain’s heart had already been beating fast, but now that she was very much conscious of the revelations and becoming of her secret admirer, she was also aware of every beat her heart made.

She spent a moment staring at her name on the folded paper, while Azriel’s arms slowly wrapped her into a secure but loose embrace, his arms strong around her back. She glanced up at him one last time, as if asking for his permission. When he nodded, Elain swallowed and unfolded the note.

With the words revealed, her brow came to rest against his chest like a surrender.

Her eyes followed the words again and again, though her tears made appearance. Thus, the words turned blurry, dancing between her fingers. Az touched his cheeks to hers, whispering his final secret.

“I love you, Elain,” he said softly. “Most ardently.”

Hearing him speak the message written on the note – ‘ _I love you. Most ardently._ ’ – Elain’s body sunk into Azriel’s. She pressed the letter close to her chest, its content surging over her heart like a fresh, calming wave of the ocean. She literally tasted salt on her tongue, though that was the courtesy of her tears.

As he tightened his arms around her, the female realized that Azriel Anwar Asker had given her, wittingly or unwittingly, the love story she desired all this time. Her truest hopes and dreams were manifested in this male standing right here; he’d given her his heart on a tablet. He’d opened his home to her, cooked for her, had taken care of her in the hospital. He’d been devastated with the thought of losing her and panicked when she was run over on the school yard. It didn’t get any realer than him who’d poured his love from his lips to her ears, from his pen to her eyes, from his heart right into hers.

It wasn’t a surprise how he felt and thought equaled her emotions and thoughts. They’d conquered pride and prejudices to realize they were kindred spirits, and Elain knew in this moment, with sincerity and a deep trust somewhere in her core, in the roots of her soul, that this was it and he was the one. She saw him in her future, a steadfast force in her life and in her death. She saw him by her side with a connection so deep, gratitude wasn’t encompassing enough a word for what that meant to her.

So, she wrapped her arms around her world, and held onto for dear life, literally.

“Can we stay like this for a minute?” the teacher sniffed. She couldn’t remember a time she had been this moved. “I can’t quite feel my legs.”

Azriel huffed out a shaky laugh. Thank God, he was strong enough to hold her entire weight, because she was totally relying on him at this point. “Sure,” he mumbled into her hair. Then he placed his chin on top of her head and held her close for a while.

When she felt like her voice wouldn’t break into tiny pieces of emotional turmoil, she moved her head slightly, unburying her face from his chest so he would hear her.

“You know I can never get as close to what you just pulled, right? You have ruined me for anybody else.”

She slowly detached herself enough to study his face; those beautiful eyes that had refused to _truly_ meet her own all the time she’d known him. Now she realized that perhaps he’d always been afraid of her figuring out his most significant secrets. It was the purest thing to know Az gave her such a huge part of himself in such a brave way. He was allowing her to look into his eyes now. She loved everything she saw there.

“In that case, I’m glad you’re ruined,” he replied cleverly, fondness forming his lips to a grin. “I don’t plan anyone else to steal into the picture.”

Elain returned his grin, bringing her hands up slowly over his sides to the front and up his chest around his neck. She placed them on the hinge of his jaw on both sides, the tip of her fingers buried into the hair at his neck. “Oh, you’ve made sure of that. But you also interfered with _my_ plans.”

Azriel’s brows drew together. “I did?”

“Yes,” Elain voiced and wetted her lips, letting her hands bury deeper into his hair. A shiver worked its way through him. “I also planned to make you fall in love with me, deciding my undying love for you needed to wait to be met. Apparently, you beat me to it long ago.”

The male’s eyes widened imperceptibly, his face dipping to study Elain’s expression. “Your undying…”

“My undying love.” Elain smiled sheepishly and brought her hands forward to cup his face when he seemed too stunned to speak. “I want you to know, Azriel, that my soul has recognized yours. I love you with all of my heart.”

“I love this,” she mumbled and pecked his clothed chest, above his heart. She stepped onto her toes then and brought her lips to his brow. “I love this.” Her lips followed the trail down his temple, mindful of his glasses, and brushed softly across his cheekbone. “This, this and this.”

When her lips hovered over his cupids bow, she felt his quickened pulse beneath the fingers that were touching his neck. She brushed the corner of his mouth with her own and withdrew slightly, gazing into his hazel eyes; his pupils were dilated. Then…she waited.

It couldn’t have come much as a surprise that she loved him, dearly and wholeheartedly so, and yet Az was motionless. Elain smiled, _beamed_ up at him, with all her adoration knowing how her smile affected him. She laughed with his reaction to it – he looked so unbelievingly focused, almost like he was concentrating not to lose it.

That’s why she said it again, emphasizing each word, just to see what he would do and whichever reaction he would give her next. “ _I love you_.”

If Elain knew that was all it took for him to sweep her off the ground like they were protagonists of a romance and press his lips to her own, she would have chanted it from the rooftops. But this outcome to her day was just as much satisfying, this fierce claiming of her mouth she reciprocated with equal passion, meeting him where he challenged her.

Their confessions, the kiss, this entire moment was worthy of movies, she realized, smiling into the kiss and wrapping her arms around Azriel’s neck as he deepened it.

In fact, Elain knew that if they lived a thousand lives, each version of themselves would end in this lover’s embrace, unable to keep apart. And every love story would make the perfect one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH GUYS!  
> I can't believe we've made it this far and I'm finally able to share the much anticipated revelation of the secret admirer. I hope from the bottom of my heart you liked this "twist" to the story but - who am I kidding? For me it was clear as day Az would be the secret admirer, yet I still did MY ABSOLUTE BEST to confuse you. Man, that took some comment work but I'm convinced I managed to shake you firm believers! 😆 For those of you who have been theorizing, especially about a third party (Mor) being the one to write the notes to make elriel happen - I see you. That would've been hilarious but y'know. I saw the possibility of a grand romantic gesture for Az and took it like you do. 😁💙 
> 
> Sooo next week I'll be posting the concluding Epilogue for Literally in Love and it's going to get disgustingly fluffy again. Now you're warned. Thank you for theorizing, yelling, crying and being so sweet. Love y'all 💙


	13. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the delay of one day, my friends, and happy (belated) holidays. ❤️

Elain peered up at Azriel’s sleeping face and weighed her options.

On the pro side of her current entanglement with him on his couch was the peaceful sight of him, those eyelashes sweeping over his cheekbones. He looked different without his glasses on, vulnerable in a sense. She’d also been unable to keep her eyes from the pretty nice view of his cleanly shaved jaw ever since waking up from her own nap. A weighty pro argument.

Oh, and how she loved the full weight of his arm resting atop her hip. It was the heaviness of a sleeping person when they shed any remaining body tension and burdens born. Elain liked the feeling of Azriel’s weight on top of her, enjoyed the way it made her feel safe and homey.

But a con, and a convincing point at that, was the fact she had to pee.

Alas the only conclusion to her internal assessment was that laying here, as great as it felt, shouldn’t be worth the ultimate risk her bladder posed.

That’s why she made to carefully extricate her body from him. It went so far that she merely progressed limb by limb, moving extra slow so that he didn’t wake from his peaceful slumber. He’d done so much for her, and she knew Azriel struggled with laying himself bare like he had today; she could only imagine the accompanying anxiety. He deserved his sleep.

When her knees were successfully placed on the carpet in front of the couch, she drew her arms away in the pace of a tortoise walking, keeping an eye on him all the while.

Baloo was the one to thwart her plans.

He meowed from his spot above the place where her head had been seconds ago, lifting his fluffy face from his curled position. Perhaps Az had been spared from waking until now, but she hadn’t been able to escape Baloo’s senses.

The female stiffened and quickly glanced down at her boyfriend, biting her lip, and praying for him to stay asleep. He looked so relaxed, and she’d hate to disturb him. But Azriel only sighed and stirred slightly but didn’t wake. His eyes remained closed, his breathing deep.

Relieved, the Archeron turned to the cat, widening her eyes and placing a finger to her lips like a stern librarian. “ _Shhh._ ”

Of course Baloo didn’t listen. He mewled in answer, licking over his paw, and continued to eye her sleepily but not without a trace of arrogance. She narrowed her eyes at him, and he meowed again, even louder this time.

“I know,” Elain whispered, exasperated, and leaned in to cup his fluffy head and press a kiss between Baloo’s ears. “You’re an independent cat and you don’t care what hooman mommy says. It’s okay. She can’t stay mad with you.”

Baloo pawed her nose but didn’t make a sound, almost like he’d gotten his point across and was willing to cooperate now. Elain patted his furry body lovingly, then stood to her feet and smoothed over her wrinkled clothes. With a last glance to the males on the couch, she tiptoed out of the room, smiling to herself.

Once her business was taken care of, she made a detour to the kitchen, keen to brew some tea and calm the remaining nervous excitement of the day. That was what their nap had been for, actually, though Elain and Azriel spent most of the time making out rather than finding sleep. At least they’d agreed on leaving it at kissing – and some more…exploring – and to not take the most intimate step yet. Enough firsts were conquered today. They counted on the time they would hopefully have together for the rest.

Waiting for the water to boil, Elain used the moment to distract herself from the heat that had risen to her face at the memory of Azriel’s lips and hands, and grabbed her bag, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

A smile plastered on her lips yet again. She’d been smiling ever since leaving the classroom where Az had grand-gestured for her, and apparently couldn’t stop continuing with it. She probably had smiled during her nap too. Her heart fluttered in her chest just thinking of Az, even though he was simply sleeping in the adjoining room.

After rummaging in her bag for a second, Elain finally found what she was searching for – the love notes she’d hidden in her purse in case Lucien Vanserra wanted them back.

She stifled the giggle that escaped when she remembered wanting to ask Lucien about the notes. It would have certainly made a hilariously embarrassing memory. Thank God, she hadn’t done such a thing as it turned out her boyfriend was the secret admirer after all – had been leaving her love notes for _weeks_ – and not Lucien himself. It explained why more and more notes turned up even after Lucien had clearly been aware of her relationship with the math teacher. In hindsight, Elain admitted into being utterly clueless to not notice Azriel’s involvement in the case.

Spreading the notes on the table, Elain added the newest – and by far the best – one to the rest and stared. Reading them again now, knowing Az made the conscious effort to pick apart her favorite story and leave her the lines he related to the most, was delightful. He was truly a hopeless romantic. How come she hadn’t noticed sooner?

An idea sparked and she quickly searched for a certain green sticky paper she’d also hidden somewhere in her bag because it’d made her smile so much that day. Unlike the love notes, Azriel hadn’t refused to add his initials to the note he’d stuck to the cup of coffee he’d left for her one morning.

Comparing the writing on the love letters and the sticky note confirmed her suspicions: Az had actually made the effort of changing his clean handwriting into a scrawly one. Now that she saw it so clearly, she remembered watching him write just yesterday. Something about the slow and neat way his hand moved had perked her up; he’d used the pen with utter care as if he were caressing the paper with it. She couldn’t help the grin escaping her. He’d truly been scared she’d figure it out before he was ready to be confronted.

Her eyes caught to the numbers Azriel had dotted down, a jest he made at his own expense. She cocked her head to the side, musing. _4 5 6 8 3 9 6 8._ Everything else had a hidden meaning, one she initially didn’t give them credit for, so why not this particular sequence of numbers too?

Quickly grabbing her phone, Elain pulled up the keypad, studying the numbers and the corresponding letters. A wide grin bloomed on her face, splitting it in two, when she realized there was indeed more to the note than she thought. If only she’d been clever enough to notice this message sooner!

Then again, none of the events might have occurred then – at least not as they had specifically – and she wouldn’t change the past for the cost of her life.

Elain almost spilled her tea while drinking because she just couldn’t help herself smiling.

***

Azriel woke by Elain’s attempt to snuggle back into his arms but didn’t open his eyes, letting her; she was being extra careful not to rouse him and it took her a moment to move his arm and climb under it. When she was finally about to settle down, he grabbed her by the waist, causing his girlfriend to shriek and frighten Baloo to the death. The cat darted away but even driven by his fear he only made it this far.

Elain didn’t hesitate to move after him, fretting and cooing, while he perched on a cushion on the far side of the couch. Baloo let himself be carried back to Az – who was rubbing his eyes now and glimpsing into Elain’s narrowed eyes. Her mouth was pulled into a pout, making him remember the kisses they shared on this very couch. The ache he felt for her warmth rose like flow.

“That wasn’t very nice,” she accused yet still climbed back into his arms when he opened them for her. He welcomed her as if she were coming home from a long day of work.

“I’m sorry,” he grumbled, though he was grinning and pressing a kiss into her neck. Ruffling Baloo’s fur, Az let his cat go to war with his fingers. “He’s in love with his hooman mommy by the way.”

That charmed a sweet smile on Elain’s lips and a blush to her cheeks. She stole a glance at Az, realizing he’d been awake earlier after all and mumbled, “I know.”

When Baloo eventually let off his fingers, Azriel wound them around Elain and nestled his face into the crook of her neck for good, pressing a kiss to her skin again. She squirmed wiggled a little. Azriel smiled because she, too, must remember their shenanigans from earlier.

“Where have you been?” he rasped, feeling the best kind of lazy.

The honey-haired female smiled to herself while stroking over Baloos fur. The cat purred with his eyes pinched closed, enjoying the tending to his oh-so-important needs. Strange that they seemed the strongest in Elain’s presence.

Though Azriel couldn’t explain it, he was once more envious of the generous attention Baloo received. The pet met his narrowed eyes knowingly, yawning. The traitor even laid one paw on top of the other and nestled into Elain’s stomach. It was foolish maybe, but Az fought to suppress the urge to growl at his own cat.

“Oh, nowhere,” she answered, grinning to herself like she was privy to his secrets. She pursed her lips in amused reflection. “I’m still struggling to let the day sink in, but I came across a thought I found rather interesting.”

Azriel studied her profile, the twitching of her lips. Her skin was fair during this time of the year, but he’d seen her in the summer months, sun-kissed and freckled. He basked in the memories of them. Even though she hadn’t been his to admire then, her smile was always bright upon seeing him, no matter the season. He couldn’t wait for summer days spent by her side.

The missing reply made Elain turn to him. She blushed when she saw the expression on his face, and he swore there was not enough air to breathe in the entire room. Facing him like this, the space between them shrunken, the male was distracted; his eyes flitted over her features and kept catching on her lips. He barely remembered her words. “What is it?”

His wandering eyes and subdued mumble seemed to strike a chord within her, because Elain’s face heated even more. She squirmed again. “Well, I was thinking about your notes and how you kept hiding them in my belongings even after we…” she muttered just to lose her trail of thought, preoccupied fighting the desire clearly awaking in her eyes when they lost the battle of resistance and remained on his lips in return.

Self-satisfied male pride filled Az, when he stole her words by simply devouring her with his eyes, the attention Baloo stole from him returning within seconds. He smirked and let his fingers go on an adventure, brushing the bit of naked skin of her waist that was revealed by her blouse. He let his fingers disappear into the back, tantalizingly slow.

“Unfair,” Elain breathed and shivered, lids half-closed, sporting that delicious blush. She spoke his name like a warning then, but it was only half-heartedly because Az had spread his hand on her spine and pulled her closer.

Dipping his head forward and touching his nose in featherlight brushes from her temple to her cheeks, he moved his way to her lips and made a mental note to ask what she’d been wondering about later. The call of her mouth seemed more important now, already clouding his senses.

To his endless chicane, Baloo the traitor chose that moment to stretch on Elain’s stomach and sink his claws into her.

The female flinched at the unexpected pain, gasping, but it was enough for that dazed look to vanish from her eyes and make her turn to Baloo. As if sensing his moment, the cat padded even more into her personal space, regally seating himself on her chest like he owned the spot.

While Azriel glared at him in irritation, Elain cupped his head, stroking his furry ears. She seemed thrilled of this showcase of trust despite the fact she must have been hurt, if only for a moment.

“Look at you little devil pricking mommy. But you love me, don’t you Baloo? You love mommy,” she cooed. Stealing a glance at Az – who didn’t know whether to be annoyed at the intrusion or amused with Elain deeming herself _mommy_ of his cat – and hid her grin in Baloo’s fur, pretending to whisper into his ear, “Daddy wanted to be very naughty and do improper things with mommy. You saved my honor, little devil.”

 _Little devil_ , indeed. Az narrowed his eyes, calculating how to best get rid of his traitor cat, the attention thief. He _really_ wanted to make out with his girlfriend right now.

With a budding plan, a frustrating one for sure, he decided reoccupy his comfortable position nestled close against her body and put an arm around her. Elain merely glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, most certainly aware that there was a competition of wills going on. Both males were fighting for her attention and the vixen was enjoying herself, smirking at him.

Az thought he knew how to get to her, but he vowed to go slow about it. “What of my notes?” He gently bit her shoulder and smirked. “Do you want me to give you another rundown of the grand story?”

The female chuckled and sacrificed a hand that was otherwise occupied playing with Baloo, to pinch his side. “Don’t you get cocky on me.”

To his surprise she rose her brows at him in challenge. “Actually, I was thinking of how you kept hiding love notes in my belongings, knowing fully well that I suspected Lucien and that you still let me confront him over the notes. It could have ended very differently than it did, you know. Much more embarrassing for me. Were you amusing at my expense this entire time, Mr. Asker?”

Az stiffened, eyeing her expression. He couldn’t quite place the emotion and whether she was earnestly offended even though her eyes seemed to glisten in amusement. He decided to go with the truth anyway, carefully so, scratching his neck.

“As a matter of fact, I thought you would know it’s me by then. I was counting on it.” He smiled and nudged her jaw with his chin. “You were so stubbornly set on Vanserra. It drove me crazy.”

Elain considered him, her eyes widening with realization.

“You cozied up to me and wanted me to read the note aloud the other day. I thought you were teasing me because I asked you to go slow but you weren’t, were you?”

Az chuckled, stroking her clothed stomach with his thumb, letting the rest of his fingers recapture the space between her blouse and pants. If she noticed his hand beginning another sly journey of its own, she didn’t show. “Nope.”

Elain groaned. “I’m sorry. The more I think about it, the more embarrassing it gets. Thank God I haven’t shown Lucien the notes. He still must have been thinking crazy of me.”

“He wants to stay your friend, doesn’t he? It can’t be that bad,” Az voiced, distracted as he peeled the collar of Elain’s blouse to the side and kissed her collarbone. He brushed Baloo’s head in the process, and they shared a look that could only be described as male rivalry.

Or maybe it was only Azriel clinging to his resentment for…a cat. That was just being a cat.

“Will I ever be able to look into his eyes and not think of my embarrassment though?”

Azriel gave up trying to will Baloo into climbing the hell down from his girlfriend and shot Elain a look instead. He didn’t know her to be dramatic but then again, she hailed from the Archeron gene and from what he’d seen, those were always kind of extra.

“I bet he hasn’t a single clue about any of it. Even if he did, that’s nothing you would need to be embarrassed for.”

When Elain didn’t seem convinced, he blurted, “You want to know what’s embarrassing? Misspelling my own name and having my students call me Mr. Asser for an entire week.”

Elain howled with surprised laughter that turned into a yelp when Baloo flinched and scratched her chest. The female quickly held on to the cat before he could flee in fear.

 _Pity_ , Azriel thought. He stifled the urge to grab his busybody cat and carry him to the farthest corner of the apartment.

“That happened to _you_?” Elain asked in disbelief.

He didn’t know why he betrayed this particularly cringeworthy memory, considering it was one of the most embarrassing ones.

But he nodded, nevertheless, blushing. His teasing scheme forgotten for the moment being. “It’s actually your fault.”

Elain’s grin widened. “Now I’m even more intrigued.”

Now it was too late to back out. One look into her face revealed those huge brown doe eyes and he knew he couldn’t resist them anyway.

“Remember the day we met?” he asked sheepishly. “It was the first day after the summer and your first day at work. You barged into my class thinking it was the breakroom for teachers.”

Elain’s nose crinkled when she smiled, remembering. She put a hand on his chest, playing with the button on his shirt. “Oh, I had forgotten about that. But I remember thinking you looked so cute and geeky that day, with your glasses and your plaid shirt.” She tugged on the lapel of his white button-down that was rumpled by now, obviously relishing his choice of clothing. She even popped open the first button, just to tease him. Mischief danced around the corner of her mouth. Azriel only raised a brow.

“If that’s what you remember about me from that day, I’m actually glad. Because once I saw you, I didn’t get out a single word and have never felt more awkward in my entire life. I had an entire classroom full of teens watching me gain and lose my authority within the first two minutes upon meeting me.”

“Aww,” Elain smiled, cupping his cheek. “That’s so sweet of you. But I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. I would’ve remembered if it was.”

But she had not a single clue just how bad it was.

The moment the math teacher set his eyes on Elain Archeron, he’d lost the ability to be chill. She’d barged in while he was writing his name on the blackboard, looking so absolutely wonderful and sweet, like rays of sunshine breaking through the blinds on a lazy morning, that it broke his heart and pieced it back together in the same instant. She’d apologized for intruding and asked him for the lunchroom. Az remembered in painful clarity how he’d failed to respond with a coherent information, unable to stop staring at the beautiful woman with the lovely smile while also fighting such a foolish reaction. A student had answered in his place and considered him with sorry eyes later.

His face heated just thinking of the moment. That’s how it’d begun, his freefall for Elain. He knew it, his class had seen it. And as if that weren’t enough, he proved it by misspelling his name on the blackboard for everyone to see. Every time a student called him _Mr. Asser_ afterwards, for the fun of it, he was reminded of his embarrassment meeting the wonderful Ms. Archeron for the first time.

It was quite the wonder she was here now, in his home and arms. And an absolute miracle she didn’t remember him failing at simple interpersonal communication as vividly as he did.

“I still bet it was more embarrassing than any Lucien moment of yours, but I’m more than willing to forget we ever talked about this.” He decided to pick up on his plan from earlier and slipped his fingers under her shirt again, innocently letting them rest above her waistline.

No matter how simple the intentional gesture, Elain’s breathing hitched though she didn’t say a word. She was certainly aware of his playful fingers by now.

“But I do admit,” Az continued to confess, now shamelessly moving the entire span of his palm onto her stomach, “that I played along when you accused Vanserra of the notes. It was amusing to let you loose on him.”

Elain chuckled almost nervously; her cheeks heated for entirely different reasons. She playfully bumped her elbow into his chest attempting to appear nonchalant when she was clearly affected from Azriel’s bold hand. Meaningfully eyeing the place his hand disappeared into her top, the female murmured, “There you go being naughty again. How could I ever miss this wicked streak of yours?”

Az had difficulties reigning in the cockiness. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Elain remained silent, meeting his gaze. His fingers twitched on her naked stomach in response; her skin was incredibly warm and inviting. Her breathing picked up and she gulped, eyeing his hand beneath the fabric of her blouse again. She bit her lip, biding her time and stroking Baloo’s fur absent-mindedly.

Azriel watched her closely, predatorily, as he tugged up her top just a little and revealed her stomach. Color blossomed on her bosom at the notion. She inhaled sharply when the male moved on the couch, down, until he hovered over her stomach and inspected.

“What are you doing?” she murmured with her voice shaky. One of her hands had unwittingly dug into the comforter on the couch. When she noticed Azriel glancing at her clenched fingers, she relaxed them.

He could feel himself wanting to grin, relishing the tension he’d created, the one that made his skin prickle and muscles tighten. But he ignored the urge and focused on her skin – on the scratches that were Baloo’s work. He was simply tending to them.

“Nothing,” he murmured and brushed a finger over the sensitive skin, watching chills break out. Interesting.

“That’s not _nothing_ ,” Elain voiced, sounding affected. Almost panicked. Az glanced up, just to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere his girlfriend wouldn’t want to go. Not that he would take it very far today. Not yet.

But he only saw widened eyes, blown pupils and quickened breathing. She didn’t seem to mind his current position as much as it equally terrified and thrilled her. Testing his theory, he brushed a hand against her again and watched her lids flutter.

“That’s _clearly_ not nothing,” Elain argued once more, breath hitching. “You’re trying to… _Oh_.”

Her mouth formed a surprised ‘ _o_ ’ when he inched closer and finally kissed the skin of her stomach, watching her eyes fall shut. At this point, Baloo was entirely forgotten.

“I will take care of this,” Azriel mumbled, his predator’s focus shifting, and kissed her again, his hands wandering up her naked sides until he brushed her bra. His lips proceeded to draw a line of featherlight kisses over her stomach, not being able to help himself. His hands were buried around her back, large enough to cover her shoulder blades, holding her squirming body down.

His core tightened once more, and Az paused to calm his own breathing and confine those desires in a cage. He would unleash them in given time, just not yet. He waited until the heat receded enough for him to continue his tantalizing slow kisses on Elain, making sure to keep them to safe zones.

When he used his tongue and blew on the spot, Elain sighed a prayer to God under her breath.

“I thought,” she voiced barely audible, managing to open her chocolate eyes. The hand that had been gripping his hair involuntarily loosened and Azriel looked up from his spot above her midriff. “I thought we weren’t going to…”

Her words lost themselves to the heat still clinging to her cheeks and her darkened eyes, trusting him to understand.

“We won’t,” he grinned wolfishly, knowing damn well how much of a tease that made him. He just couldn’t help chasing the tension that came with going utterly and maddeningly slow. “But the anticipation is just as pleasurable, and I think you like it too.”

Azriel cocked his head, assessing her in all her flustered glory. “Do you want me to stop?”

Elain stared at him, unblinking – and seemed to come to terms with how this night might go and in the ways it may not. And Hell damn him if he didn’t see the same spark of thrill in her eyes.

“Come here,” she demanded, reaching out for him. He would have obliged if she asked him to do a handstand with that voice.

Az kissed her stomach one last time – bidding goodbye for the day and vowing to return soon – and raised himself to his knees on the couch, hovering above the female. The way Elain followed his movements and let her eyes wander over his torso broadened his chest. They weren’t even naked and she was appreciating the view just as much as he did.

Actually, he would’ve enjoyed it more without the black furry ball still stubbornly curled on her chest, unaware to his surroundings.

He indicated his head to the cat, sensing the imminent triumph to his plan that threatened to stretch his lips to a cocky grin. “There’s not enough room for the two of us.”

Elain, surprised from the weight on her chest, eyed him, then the cat, and finally hoisted the ball of fur from her body. Baloo meowed in protest, but Elain didn’t allow him to dissuade her from bringing his furry face close to hers and speak, “I’m sorry little devil, but mommy really wants to do naughty things with daddy right now.”

With that, she let the cat slip to the ground and didn’t hesitate to reach for Azriel, tugging him down on top of her. She sighed feeling his weight.

The male chuckled lowly, victorious now that his plan had proven successful. “ _Finally_.”

Elain rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her grin. She grabbed his face in both hands and mumbled, “Shut up and kiss me, you overgrown child.”

What else was there to say? He did as he was told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is it. This feels more like the end than the last chapter, and I’m emotional letting these dorks go. It’s not forever I hope, but I feel like it’s time for me to continue from this story. Again, thank you for leaving kudos as well as comments. With this fic I changed from hoping for interaction to shamelessly asking for it, communicating questions and getting many replies and guesses along the way! The interaction on Ao3 has been wild for my standards so I feel like my asking for it has improved the situation :D I loved confusing, teasing and collecting your theories. That’s how it shall be from now on. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go shed a few tears in my corner now. 
> 
> love you all xx


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